The Greatest Plays of William Somerset Maugham. Уильям Сомерсет Моэм

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      Lady Frederick.

      Good heavens, I'm old enough to be his mother.

      Gerald.

      Nonsense. You're only ten years older than he is, and nowadays no nice young man marries a woman younger than himself.

      Lady Frederick.

      He's such a good fellow. I couldn't do him a nasty turn like that.

      Gerald.

      How about Montgomerie? He simply stinks of money, and he's not a bad sort.

      Lady Frederick.

      [Surprised.] My dear boy, I hardly know him.

      Gerald.

      Well, I'm afraid it means marriage or bankruptcy.

      Lady Frederick.

      Here's Charlie. Take him away, there's a dear. I want to talk to Paradine.

      Enter Paradine Fouldes with Mereston.

      Fouldes.

      What, still here, Lady Frederick?

      Lady Frederick.

      As large as life.

      Fouldes.

      We've been taking a turn on the terrace.

      Lady Frederick.

      [To Mereston.] And has your astute uncle been pumping you, Charlie?

      Fouldes.

      Eh, what?

      Mereston.

      I don't think he got much out of me.

      Fouldes.

      [Good-naturedly.] All I wanted, dear boy. There's no one so transparent as the person who thinks he's devilish deep. By the way, what's the time?

      Gerald.

      About eleven, isn't it?

      Fouldes.

      Ah! How old are you, Charlie?

      Mereston.

      Twenty-two.

      Fouldes.

      Then it's high time you went to bed.

      Lady Frederick.

      Charlie's not going to bed till I tell him. Are you?

      Mereston.

      Of course not.

      Fouldes.

      Has it escaped your acute intelligence, my friend, that I want to talk to Lady Frederick?

      Mereston.

      Not at all. But I have no reason to believe that Lady Frederick wants to talk to you.

      Gerald.

      Let's go and have a game of pills, Charlie.

      Mereston.

      D'you want to be left alone with the old villain?

      Fouldes.

      You show no respect for my dyed hairs, young man.

      Lady Frederick.

      I've not seen him for years, you know.

      Mereston.

      Oh, all right. I say, you're coming for a ride to-morrow, aren't you?

      Lady Frederick.

      Certainly. But it must be in the afternoon.

      Fouldes.

      I'm sorry, but Charles has arranged to motor me over to Nice in the afternoon.

      Mereston.

      [To Lady Frederick.] That'll suit me A 1. I had an engagement, but it was quite unimportant.

      Lady Frederick.

      Then that's settled. Good-night.

      Mereston.

      Good-night.

      [He goes out with Gerald. Lady Frederick turns and good-humouredly scrutinises Paradise Fouldes.

      Lady Frederick.

      Well?

      Fouldes.

      Well?

      Lady Frederick.

      You wear excellently, Paradine.

      Fouldes.

      Thanks.

      Lady Frederick.

      How do you manage it?

      Fouldes.

      By getting up late and never going to bed early, by eating whatever I like and drinking whenever I'm thirsty, by smoking strong cigars, taking no exercise, and refusing under any circumstances to be bored.

      Lady Frederick.

      I'm sorry you had to leave town in such a hurry. Were you amusing yourself?

      Fouldes.

      I come to the Riviera every year.

      Lady Frederick.

      I daresay, but not so early.

      Fouldes.

      I've never surrendered so far to middle age as to make habits.

      Lady Frederick.

      My dear Paradine, the day before yesterday, Lady Mereston, quite distracted, went to the post office and sent you the following wire: "Come at once, your help urgently needed. Charlie in toils designing female, Maud." Am I right?

      Fouldes.

      I never admit even to myself that a well-dressed woman is mistaken.

      Lady Frederick.

      So you started post-haste, bent upon protecting your nephew, and were infinitely surprised to learn that the designing female was no other than your humble servant.

      Fouldes.

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