The Greatest Plays of William Somerset Maugham. Уильям Сомерсет Моэм

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СКАЧАТЬ It's impossible for it to get better. We can't even go on as we have been. I've felt that the end was coming.

      Hilda.

      But try—try for my sake.

      Basil.

      You don't know what it is. Everything she says, everything she does, jars upon me so frightfully. I try to restrain myself. I clench my teeth to prevent myself from breaking out at her. Sometimes I can't help it, and I say things that I'd give anything to have left unsaid. She's dragging me down. I'm getting as common and vulgar as she is.

      Hilda.

      How can you say that of your wife?

      Basil.

      Don't you think I must have gone through a good deal before I could acknowledge to myself what she was? I'm chained to her for all my life. And when I look into the future—I see her a vulgar, slatternly shrew like her mother, and myself abject, degraded, and despicable. The woman never tires in her conflict with the man, and in the end he always succumbs. A man, when he marries a woman like that, thinks he's going to lift her up to his own station. The fool! It's she who drags him down to hers.

      Hilda.

      [Much disturbed, rising from her seat.] I wanted you to be so happy.

      Basil.

      [Going towards her.] Hilda!

      Hilda.

      No—don't.... Please!

      Basil.

      If it weren't for you I couldn't have lived. It was only by seeing you that I gathered courage to go on with it. And each time I came here I loved you more passionately.

      Hilda.

      Oh, why did you come?

      Basil.

      I couldn't help it. I knew it was poison, but I loved the poison. I would give my whole soul for one look of your eyes.

      Hilda.

      If you care for me at all, do your duty like a brave man—and let me respect you.

      Basil.

      Say that you love me, Hilda.

      Hilda.

      [Distracted.] You're making our friendship impossible. Don't you see that you're preventing me from ever having you here again?

      Basil.

      I can't help it.

      Hilda.

      I ought never to have seen you again. I thought there was no harm in your coming, and I—I couldn't bear to lose you altogether.

      Basil.

      Even if I never see you again, I must tell you now that I love you. I made you suffer, I was blind. But I love you with all my heart, Hilda. All day I think of you, and I dream of you in the night. I long to take you in my arms and kiss you, to kiss your lips, and your beautiful hair, and your hands. My whole soul is yours, Hilda.

      [He goes towards her again to take her in his arms.

      Hilda.

      Oh, no, go away. For God's sake, go now. I can't bear it.

      Basil.

      Hilda, I can't live without you.

      Hilda.

      Have mercy on me. Don't you see how weak I am? Oh, God help me!

      Basil.

      You don't love me?

      Hilda.

      [Vehemently.] You know I love you. But because of my great love I beseech you to do your duty.

      Basil.

      My duty is to be happy. Let us go where we can love one another—away from England, to a land where love isn't sinful and ugly.

      Hilda.

      Oh, Basil, let us try to walk straight. Think of your wife, who loves you also—as much as I do. You're all the world to her. You can't treat her so shamefully.

      [She puts her handkerchief to her eyes, and Basil gently takes away her hand.

      Basil.

      Don't cry, Hilda. I can't bear it.

      Hilda.

      [In broken tones.] Don't you understand that we could never respect ourselves again if we did that poor creature such a fearful wrong? She would be always between us with her tears and her sorrows. I tell you I couldn't bear it. Have mercy on me—if you love me at all.

      Basil.

      [Wavering.] Hilda, it's too hard. I can't leave you.

      Hilda.

      You must. I know it's better to do our duty. For my sake, dearest, go back to your wife, and don't let her ever know that you love me. It's because we're stronger than she that we must sacrifice ourselves.

      [He leans his head on his hands, and sighs deeply. For a while they remain in silence. At last, with another sigh, he gets up.

      Basil.

      I don't know any longer what's right and what's wrong. It all seems confused. It's very hard.

      Hilda.

      [Hoarsely.] It's just as hard for me, Basil.

      Basil.

      [Broken-hearted.] Good-bye, then. I dare say you're right. And perhaps I should only make you very unhappy.

      Hilda.

      Good-bye, my dearest.

      [He bends down and kisses her hands. She stifles a sob. He goes slowly to the door, with his back turned to her; and then Hilda, unable to endure it, gives a groan.

      Hilda.

      Basil. Don't go.

      Basil.

      [With a cry of joy.] Ah! Hilda.

      [He clasps her passionately in his arms.

      Hilda.

      Oh, I can't bear it. I won't lose you. Basil, say you love me.

      Basil.

      [In a madness of joy.] Yes. I love you with all my heart.

      Hilda.

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