The Keith Laumer MEGAPACK®: 21 Classic Stories. Keith Laumer

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СКАЧАТЬ the face on the screen said, “I am Counsellor Pardy, DSO-1, Deputy Under-secretary for the region. I have received a report on your conduct which makes it mandatory for me to relieve you administratively, vice Miss Yolanda Meuhl, DAO-9. Pending the findings of a Board of Inquiry, you will—”

      Retief reached out and snapped off the communicator. The triumphant look faded from Miss Meuhl’s face.

      “Why, what is the meaning—”

      “If I’d listened any longer, I might have heard something I couldn’t ignore. I can’t afford that, at this moment. Listen, Miss Meuhl,” Retief went on earnestly, “I’ve found the missing cruiser.”

      “You heard him relieve you!”

      “I heard him say he was going to, Miss Meuhl. But until I’ve heard and acknowledged a verbal order, it has no force. If I’m wrong, he’ll get my resignation. If I’m right, that suspension would be embarrassing all around.”

      “You’re defying lawful authority! I’m in charge here now.” Miss Meuhl stepped to the local communicator.

      “I’m going to report this terrible thing to the Groaci at once, and offer my profound—”

      “Don’t touch that screen,” Retief said. “You go sit in that corner where I can keep an eye on you. I’m going to make a sealed tape for transmission to Headquarters, along with a call for an armed task force. Then we’ll settle down to wait.”

      Retief ignored Miss Meuhl’s fury as he spoke into the recorder.

      The local communicator chimed. Miss Meuhl jumped up, staring at it.

      “Go ahead,” Retief said. “Answer it.”

      A Groacian official appeared on the screen.

      “Yolanda Meuhl,” he said without preamble, “for the Foreign Minister of the Groacian Autonomy, I herewith accredit you as Terrestrial Consul to Groac, in accordance with the advices transmitted to my government direct from the Terrestrial Headquarters. As consul, you are requested to make available for questioning Mr. J. Retief, former consul, in connection with the assault on two peace keepers and illegal entry into the offices of the Ministry for Foreign Affairs.”

      “Why, why,” Miss Meuhl stammered. “Yes, of course. And I do want to express my deepest regrets—”

      * * * *

      Retief rose, went to the communicator, assisted Miss Meuhl aside.

      “Listen carefully, Fith,” he said. “Your bluff has been called. You don’t come in and we don’t come out. Your camouflage worked for nine years, but it’s all over now. I suggest you keep your heads and resist the temptation to make matters worse than they are.”

      “Miss Meuhl,” Fith said, “a peace squad waits outside your consulate. It is clear you are in the hands of a dangerous lunatic. As always, the Groaci wish only friendship with the Terrestrials, but—”

      “Don’t bother,” Retief said. “You know what was in those files I looked over this morning.”

      Retief turned at a sound behind him. Miss Meuhl was at the door, reaching for the safe-lock release….

      “Don’t!” Retief jumped—too late.

      The door burst inward. A crowd of crested Groaci pressed into the room, pushed Miss Meuhl back, aimed scatter guns at Retief. Police Chief Shluh pushed forward.

      “Attempt no violence, Terrestrial,” he said. “I cannot promise to restrain my men.”

      “You’re violating Terrestrial territory, Shluh,” Retief said steadily. “I suggest you move back out the same way you came in.”

      “I invited them here,” Miss Meuhl spoke up. “They are here at my express wish.”

      “Are they? Are you sure you meant to go this far, Miss Meuhl? A squad of armed Groaci in the consulate?”

      “You are the consul, Miss Yolanda Meuhl,” Shluh said. “Would it not be best if we removed this deranged person to a place of safety?”

      “You’re making a serious mistake, Shluh,” Retief said.

      “Yes,” Miss Meuhl said. “You’re quite right, Mr. Shluh. Please escort Mr. Retief to his quarters in this building—”

      “I don’t advise you to violate my diplomatic immunity, Fith,” Retief said.

      “As chief of mission,” Miss Meuhl said quickly, “I hereby waive immunity in the case of Mr. Retief.”

      Shluh produced a hand recorder. “Kindly repeat your statement, Madam, officially,” he said. “I wish no question to arise later.”

      “Don’t be a fool, woman,” Retief said. “Don’t you see what you’re letting yourself in for? This would be a hell of a good time for you to figure out whose side you’re on.”

      “I’m on the side of common decency!”

      “You’ve been taken in. These people are concealing—”

      “You think all women are fools, don’t you, Mr. Retief?” She turned to the police chief and spoke into the microphone he held up.

      “That’s an illegal waiver,” Retief said. “I’m consul here, whatever rumors you’ve heard. This thing’s coming out into the open, whatever you do. Don’t add violation of the Consulate to the list of Groacian atrocities.”

      “Take the man,” Shluh said.

      * * * *

      Two tall Groaci came to Retief’s side, guns aimed at his chest.

      “Determined to hang yourselves, aren’t you?” Retief said. “I hope you have sense enough not to lay a hand on this poor fool here.” He jerked a thumb at Miss Meuhl. “She doesn’t know anything. I hadn’t had time to tell her yet. She thinks you’re a band of angels.”

      The cop at Retief’s side swung the butt of his scatter-gun, connected solidly with Retief’s jaw. Retief staggered against a Groacian, was caught and thrust upright, blood running down onto his shirt. Miss Meuhl yelped. Shluh barked at the guard in shrill Groacian, then turned to stare at Miss Meuhl.

      “What has this man told you?”

      “I—nothing. I refused to listen to his ravings.”

      “He said nothing to you of some…alleged…involvement?”

      “I’ve told you!” Miss Meuhl said sharply. She looked at the blood on Retief’s shirt.

      “He told me nothing,” she whispered. “I swear it.”

      “Let it lie, boys,” Retief said. “Before you spoil that good impression.”

      Shluh looked at Miss Meuhl for a long moment. Then he turned.

      “Let us go,” he said. He СКАЧАТЬ