The Cowboy's Faith. Danica Favorite

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СКАЧАТЬ this was the man who symbolized all her pain.

      And yes, she knew all the classic psychological speak for everything going on. People acted like she was stupid because she was a preschool teacher. But she did have her master’s, and she’d taken enough psychology courses in the process to grasp all the technical details about what she was dealing with. All the classic stages of grief.

      “Yes,” she muttered, trying not to sound like such an ingrate. Were a stranger to peek into her life, they might think she was a horrible person for how she was treating Fernando.

      In a way, she kind of felt that way about herself. But the pain in her heart was like a throbbing headache that only got worse when Fernando was near. Right now, it was like the kind of migraine that made you throw up.

      Once Snookie was fed, Leah invited Fernando into the house for a glass of iced tea while they waited for Shane to come over, making the pain in Nicole’s heart even worse. Throwing up was almost an option. But instead, Nicole smiled. And she meekly followed them into the house, keeping the smile firmly planted on her face while figuring out how she was going to handle accepting help from the person she despised the most.

      No, it probably wasn’t the most healthy thing for her to be doing, but it felt a whole lot better than falling apart over something that could never be fixed.

      Fortunately, Shane didn’t take too long in arriving.

      “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. The fence on the back pasture is down in a few spots, and I wanted to get it fixed before you guys moved the herd there tomorrow.”

      Shane’s engagement gift to Leah had been a herd of cattle that had initially come between them but was now what the sisters had hoped would be the start of turning their property back into a real working ranch. Which seemed like an impossible dream, considering they only had one horse, and that horse was not yet able to work the ranch. But on their budget, finding what Shane called a good horse seemed next to impossible.

      Leah gave Shane a quick hug and kiss. “Oh, good. Erin took the boys over to the Double R Ranch to borrow a couple of ATVs so we can get the herd moved.”

      Then Leah gestured at Fernando. “I want you to meet Fernando Montoya, an old family friend who says he can help with Snookie.”

      Nicole would have liked to have argued with Leah about the old family friend part, but since Shane and Fernando were already exchanging pleasantries, it seemed like it would just be an act of meanness to do so. Especially since Leah looked so happy.

      It was nice that Leah had found a man she could trust after her disastrous first marriage. Her husband had become addicted to painkillers after a skiing accident then died of a drug overdose, leaving Leah and her children destitute.

      Even their sister, Erin, who also had a terrible first marriage, seemed to believe that love was possible again. Nicole wasn’t so sure.

      As Shane and Fernando talked, Leah led her into the other room.

      “I’m sorry if this seems presumptuous, and maybe it isn’t the right thing. But I’m really worried about you and the horse. Is there something else that happened with Fernando you haven’t told me? I’ve always thought that you’ve treated him unfairly and were punishing him unjustly. Like I said earlier, I think it would be good for both of you to spend some time together and deal with your mutual grief.”

      She smiled at her sister. “I’ve dealt with my grief. I’m fine. I just don’t need the constant reminders of my perfect life falling apart and having no clue.”

      She glanced in the direction of the kitchen, noting that Fernando and Shane appeared to be in a very deep conversation. Like they were getting along. But that was the trouble. Great that they were friends. But did anyone think about what it meant to her?

      What did Fernando think he had to gain in this situation? If he felt so bad about his sister’s cheating, then why hadn’t he just told her to begin with? Why had he let her be played for a fool, when apparently everyone else seemed to know? Her family hadn’t, but they’d been dealing with their own stuff.

      Every time she thought she was over it, Fernando had to step in and remind her. Even worse, he’d just shown her that the one thing that had been bringing her comfort after everything—working with this horse—was just one more mistake she’d made.

      The men walked out of the kitchen, and she pasted a smile on her face.

      “He’s good,” Shane said. “I’m really impressed with his horse knowledge. You’d be blessed to get a trainer like him. He’s promised that he’ll work with you and teach you. You’ll still do most of the training yourself, but with his guidance.”

      Then his gaze landed firmly on Nicole. “I stand by what I said the other day. Unless Snookie gets proper training, she has to go.”

      Even though Shane had told her this before, it felt like the knife was being driven in even deeper.

      “I’m sorry, Nicole,” Shane said gently, looking at her like he did the boys when he was trying to be compassionate. “This is why I warned you not to fall in love with an animal just because it was pretty. I told you not to buy her, so now that you’ve got her, you need to do the right thing. Get her properly trained or give her to someone who can handle her.”

      She knew what he was referring to. The Springs Haven Animal Rescue was just a few miles outside the other end of town. They provided homes for abused and neglected animals, as well as animals that were surrendered by owners who could no longer care for them. She’d vowed not to be that kind of owner, someone who promised a home to an animal, then gave it up when the going got rough. Besides, at the last fund-raiser for the animal rescue, Margaret Cooke, the owner, had told people that she wasn’t sure she’d have the funding to keep it going much longer. If the rescue closed, what would happen to Snookie? Shane looked regretful at reminding her of that option, but she knew that the boys’ safety was his primary concern.

      Fernando gave her a smile. “All is not lost. I think she’s a good horse, very smart. But she’s scared. Even though you’re doing your best by her, your actions are making her more fearful because they’re inconsistent with her nature.”

      Her fault. Wow. So much for thinking she could do the right thing.

      But before she could even process the thought, Fernando stepped into her space and spoke quietly. “Don’t be hard on yourself. You meant well, and most people would’ve made the same mistakes you have.”

      She nodded slowly, fighting the tears. This horse was supposed to help her, and she was supposed to help it. And together, they were going to help each other.

      He touched her arm lightly. “Let me help you help this horse. I believe you can do it. I know there is love in your heart for her, so let’s get her to see it, too.”

      The last thing she ever wanted in her life was to have Fernando here. To have Fernando be a part of the peace she’d so carefully built around her heart.

      But as she looked out at the barn, she knew she didn’t have a choice. Her last hope, her only hope, was this man. She didn’t like it, but how could she let this beautiful horse down?

      Even though she’d already decided to let Fernando help her, she knew everyone else thought she was being difficult and needed convincing. But they didn’t understand the emotional cost СКАЧАТЬ