Mills & Boon Christmas Delights Collection. Rebecca Winters

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СКАЧАТЬ actions. But he hadn’t wanted to get my hopes up if he couldn’t arrange dog-sitting, or if Pilot wasn’t as good with kids as we’d originally thought. He’d never lied. Unlike Calum. But I couldn’t tell him any of that.

      ‘Katie what’s wrong?’

      ‘Nothing.’ I did the smile thing again and it felt even more unnatural than last time.

      ‘So why don’t I believe you?’

      ‘I don’t know.’ I pushed myself off the floor, causing Pilot to look around dozily and then flop out and fill the space I’d been occupying. ‘Are these all for dumping?’ I asked, pointing to a box he’d been steadily filling for the past couple of hours.

      Michael nodded, watching me. As I bent to lift the box, he got up. ‘I can do that in a minute. It’s heavy.’

      I gave a laugh that sounded a hollow imitation of my normal one. ‘Michael I’m quite capable of lifting a box.’ I lifted it to demonstrate and staggered a step as it proved itself heavier than it had initially looked.

      ‘Give it to me.’

      ‘No.’ I twisted away from him. ‘I’m going to go and put these in the recycling. You get on with the rest.’

      He moved to take the box again. ‘You’ll do yourself an injury. Give it here.’

      ‘I’m more than capable of looking after myself, thank you. I don’t need you – ’ I stopped as I caught sight of his face. ‘I’m sorry.’ I swallowed. ‘I didn’t mean to snap at you. And I know you mean well, but the whole damsel in distress thing isn’t really my scene.’

      When he replied his jaw was tight and his voice measured. ‘I wasn’t implying you were incapable Katie. I just didn’t want you putting your back out, especially with Christmas coming.’

      The fact that Christmas could now come and go in my world without me even noticing, let alone caring, gave his comment an ironic slant that he hadn’t intended.

      ‘I know, thanks.’ And with that, I stepped past him and heaved the box to the top of the stairs. I put it down for a moment and my back practically groaned in relief. Pressing my hand to my head, I willed the headache that had been slowly building in my temple to go away. I closed my eyes for a moment as I did so.

      When I opened them again, Michael was standing in front of me. He bent and swiped the box, the muscles in his back and arms tensing as he did so. I opened my mouth to protest.

      ‘I can’t afford a claim on the insurance on this place if you fall and break your neck.’ He descended the stairs, opened the catch on the front door with his elbow and took the refuse outside. From the top of the stairs, Pilot and I just watched.

      Twenty minutes later, Michael glanced over at me. I’d tried to clear the air a little after the box dumping fiasco. Any other day I’d have seen he was just trying to be kind but today, with all my emotions having shot up significantly closer to the surface, I’d fallen back into a pattern I’d thought I’d managed to leave behind – that the only person I could really rely on was myself. I’d worked so hard to get through those issues. It had taken years, and Janey’s friendship had helped enormously. But last night, Calum had smashed all the hard work to pieces. And now, today, Michael was getting the brunt of it.

      ‘I’m sorry about the box thing. It was silly. I just don’t like people thinking I can’t take care of myself or that I expect a man to do things for me.’

      ‘Don’t worry. You definitely don’t give off that impression.’ His voice was flat.

      Another few minutes went past before he spoke again. ‘So. How was dinner?’

      I kept my head down, intent on my task.

      ‘Fine, thanks. The food was very nice,’ I said, disregarding the fact that I’d thrown the whole lot up again about three minutes after Janey had opened the door to me. Putting that on TripAdvisor would be pretty cruel, bearing in mind I knew the sole reason for my nausea was the person I’d been having dinner with and not a dodgy scallop.

      Silence descended again. Pilot lifted his head and looked at me, then at his master. He tilted his head and I leant down and kissed the top of it. The tension was palpable whether you had two legs or four.

      ‘Did you have any luck in getting this guy to spend more time with you, like you said you wanted to?’

      I sat up, exhausted from trying to keep myself together, from not blurting everything out when, deep down, I knew that was really all I wanted to do, whatever the consequences. But I knew I couldn’t. Not with Michael.

      ‘Michael. We’re doing really well here but there is still a certain amount to do and I’d like to get it all done before Christmas, as I told you and Janey I would. Bearing in mind that’s only two weeks away, whilst I appreciate you’re trying to make conversation, I think it’s probably better if we just focused on the task in hand today.’ My voice had a tone of cool efficiency to it as I glanced up at him.

      Michael’s eyes blazed before his face took on the hardness I’d seen the first time I’d met him. The aloofness that surrounded him then suddenly wrapped itself around him again. As I watched, I saw him almost physically withdraw from me.

      ‘Whatever you say.’

      The next hour was unbearable. Even Pilot had taken himself off and now lay out in the hallway, his back against the banisters. Neither Michael nor I had spoken a word and I knew it was my fault. I also knew that the item I now had in front of me could push things either way.

      ‘Michael where do you want this?’

      He looked over at what I was holding, rather than at me.

      ‘Toss it,’ he said, turning back to the pile he was working on.

      ‘I…just wondered if you might want to…’ I stopped as he lifted his head and looked directly at me, the cold hard gaze so different from less than twenty-four hours ago when he and Pilot had walked me to the station. His eyes then had been so full of warmth. Now they were as cold as the ice shining on the frozen puddles outside.

      He gave an impatient shake of his head. ‘You wondered what?’

      I took a deep breath. ‘Well, it’s just that sometimes people discard things like this, in the heat of the moment, and then, later, when they have a clearer perspective, they’ve regretted doing so. I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.’

      ‘It’s a bit late for that,’ he mumbled, almost to himself. He turned to face me. ‘Believe me Kate, I’m not going to regret getting rid of that. I have absolutely no inclination to keep a reminder of the woman who vowed to love and be faithful to me, but instead decided to cheat on me with a man who had made the same promises to his own wife. Wedding vows clearly meant little to either of them so that album now means nothing to me.’

      I bit my lip, all the fears of what he’d think of me, if he knew, were confirmed. The look on his face, the tone of his voice, the glittering hardness of his eyes: It was all there. He reached down and took the album.

      ‘Don’t you think that you ought to check and see if your wife – ex-wife – might want it before you consign it to the bin?’

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