Mills & Boon Christmas Delights Collection. Rebecca Winters

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       Chapter Sixteen

      Janey opened the door, took one look and pulled me inside without saying a word.

      ‘I am such an idiot!’ I declared as Janey handed me another mug of tea.

      ‘No you’re not. Don’t you dare start thinking that any of this is your fault!’

      ‘But he was right, wasn’t he? I should have had an inkling that something was amiss. A normal person would haven’t just swallowed everything he told me about always working or travelling!’

      Janey’s expression changed, her face taking on a seriousness that I was used to seeing on her brother, but rarely on her. Leaning across, she grabbed my hands so that I was turned to face her on the sofa.

      ‘Now you listen to me, Katie Stone. You’re not an idiot and you’re not abnormal. You trusted the man you were in a relationship with because you are a good, sweet, loving woman. And all that is good stuff! It’s nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for. The villain here is that shit Calum who took complete advantage of all of that.’

      ‘I should have sensed something, Janey,’ I said sadly.

      ‘Why would you? You’re a lot of things, love, but you’re not a mind reader.’

      ‘I should have seen the signs. You know I should. God, I saw them enough at home! How could I have missed them here?’

      ‘You can’t compare all that to this,’ she said, softly, gently rubbing my back as more tears trickled slowly down my face, plopping rhythmically onto the fabric of my dress.

      ‘But I do. It’s the same thing.’

      ‘It’s not. Not at all.’

      ‘Perhaps it’s something in the genes. Maybe I’m not meant to have a normal, happy relationship.’

      ‘Well, that’s the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.’

      ‘I hated my dad for what he did to Mum; cheating on her, sending her further and further into depression. I wanted her to just leave him. I couldn’t see why she wouldn’t. And every time I begged her, tried to get her to see that we could start again, just me and her somewhere else, she just shook her head and told me that she loved him.’

      Janey reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear.

      ‘Not everyone’s as strong as you Kate.’

      ‘It’s not that, Janey. I think I’ve spent so long trying not to be Mum, that I’ve turned into my father.’

      ‘What? Don’t be ridiculous.’

      ‘I’ve been sleeping with a married man, for God’s sake!’ I said, leaping up from the sofa. ‘Maybe I did know! How could I not have some sort of suspicion? Jesus! My mum was in a drunken stupor for most of the time and even she knew my father was up to something. And here I am, an apparently intelligent, successful businesswoman who just accepts that her boyfriend can’t see her very much, who has his phone switched off at the weekends most of the time to “destress”, and who can never take me to his house because it is continually being worked on. Maybe I did know, or suspect, and I just buried it deep inside because I didn’t want to admit that I’m just as bad as my father!’

      Janey began pushing herself up a little awkwardly from the sofa and I automatically held out my hands to help pull her up.

      ‘Thanks. Now, I’m going to ask you something and you have to give me the absolute honest truth.’

      I pushed my hair back from my face.

      ‘OK.’

      She took my hands and met my eyes, her intense green gaze boring into mine. ‘Look me in the eye and tell me if you ever had any, even the tiniest, thought that the man you were seeing was married.’

      I looked back, the answer tumbling about in my head, frustrating me, yet freeing me at the same time.

      ‘Oh God, Janey. I didn’t have a bloody clue.’ I felt the tears prick my eyes again.

      My friend pulled me to her, the baby bump making me stick my bum out in an inelegant and slightly uncomfortable manner, but I didn’t care. It was true. I hadn’t known. It hadn’t even crossed my mind. Calum must be a pretty good damn salesmen because he had sold me a scenario and I’d bought it without question.

      Janey tipped me back. ‘Right. Now. No more guilt. No more thinking you’re like your dad. You’re you, Katie. Underneath that efficient, organised, put together exterior is a fallible human being, just like the rest of us. You had no reason to doubt that what Calum said was true. And now you know, you can’t go feeling guilty about it all.’

      ‘But his wife…’

      ‘Yes I know. It’s shitty. But you have to remember it’s not your fault. You didn’t know. You had absolutely no way of knowing and if you’d known he was married when he first came onto you, you’d have told him to get on his bike! He’s the one responsible for all the hurt here Katie. Not you. And don’t you ever think anything different.’

      ‘I just feel so horrible.’ I flopped back onto the sofa and Janey followed. And then a thought hit me.

      ‘Janey, would you do me a favour?’

      ‘Of course.’

      ‘Please don’t mention any of this to Michael, will you?’

      She pulled a face. ‘He won’t – ’

      ‘Please! Just promise me. Until I get my head around it myself. I know you’re right about it all. But let’s face it, he’s not going to be the most sympathetic – and please don’t think I blame him. His wife cheated on him and completely broke his heart. If he finds out that I’ve been seeing a married man, I just…we’ve really been doing so well on the house and…everything. I don’t want to spoil it now. Not now we’re so close. Just let me finish the house with him so that it’s all ready for your Christmas together and then I’ll be gone and it won’t matter what he thinks of me then.’

      ‘I think you’re giving him less credit than he deserves, Katie.’

      ‘Please don’t be angry with me. I know he’s a good man. But I know he’s been hurt and I don’t want to do anything to…remind him of that hurt when he seems to really be moving on. You said just the other СКАЧАТЬ