Regency Surrender: Passionate Marriages. Sophia James

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СКАЧАТЬ to walk.

      Up and down. Slowly. He was not content with a small time of it, either, but had been there for most of the morning, sweat everywhere despite the cold of the day.

      He was getting better, that much she could tell. He did not limp any more or lean over his injuries like a snail in a shell, cradling his hurt. No, straight as any soldier, he picked his way from this tree to that one and then back again, using the seat on every third foray now to stop and find breath.

      Stubborn.

      Like her.

      She smiled at that thought and the tension released a little. She knew he must have his knife upon him for she had been into his room whilst he was out there and checked; a poor choice that, an act of thieves and sneaks. It was who she had become here, in this war of Spain. Her mother would have castigated her severely for such a lapse of decorum, but now no one cared. She had become part of the campaign to please her father, dressing as a boy and assembling intelligence because he was all she had left of family.

      Lucien Howard suddenly saw her for he raised his hand in greeting. So very English. Someone like him, no doubt, would keep his manners intact even upon his deathbed. It was why his country did so well in the world, she reasoned, this conduct of decency and rectitude even in the face of extreme provocation.

      ‘I had a visit from your friend Tomeu last night.’

      Shocked, she could only stare at him.

      ‘Well, that answers my first question,’ he returned and sat down. ‘I thought you might have known.’

      ‘What did he say?’ A thousand things ran around in her head, things that she sincerely hoped he had not told this Englishman.

      ‘That you were married to his cousin. For a month.’

      ‘A short relationship,’ she gave back, hating the way her voice shook with the saying of it.

      ‘Tomeu also confided that he himself had asked you to be his wife, but you had refused.’

      All of the secrets that were better hidden. ‘He was talkative, then.’

      ‘Unlike you. He implied you were in danger here.’

      At that she laughed. ‘Implied? It surrounds us, Capitán. Three hundred thousand enemy troops with their bloodthirsty generals and an emperor who easily rules Europe.’

      ‘I think he might have meant danger on a more personal level.’

      ‘To me?’

      When he nodded she knew exactly what Tomeu had said, for he had used the same arguments on her when she had broken his wrist.

      ‘He talks too much and I did not ask for your help. It was you who needed mine.’

      He ignored that sarcasm. ‘He said the trip west might be difficult. The power your father holds has aggravated those who would take it from him, it seems. Including Tomeu.’

      At that she smiled. ‘When my father asks you again to aid the effort for Spanish independence, say yes, even if you have no intention of doing so.’

      ‘Because he will kill me if I don’t?’

      ‘He is a man with little time to accomplish all he feels he must. To him you are either the means to an end or the end. Your life depends on how much honour you accord to your word, Capitán. My advice would be to allot it none.’

      ‘A promise here means nothing?’

      ‘Less than nothing. Integrity is one of the first casualties of war.’ Alejandra held her mouth in the grim edge of a scowl she had become so good at affecting and did not waver. She was pleased when he nodded.

      ‘When your mother was alive...’

      She did not let him finish.

      ‘We will leave here in a few days and head west. There will be two others who travel with us and my father will provide you with a warm coat and sturdy boots.’

      His own were cracking at the soles, she thought, the poorly made footwear of the English army was a disgrace. What manufacturer would cut corners for profit when the lives of its fighting men were at stake?

      Honour. The word slid into the space between them like a serpent, pulled this way and then that, unravelled by pragmatism and greed.

      ‘We will travel into the mountains first, so you will need to have the strength to climb.’ Despite meaning not to, her eyes glanced around at the flat small space that lay between the olives. Hardly the foothills of the mountains. The questionable wisdom of her plan made her take in a breath.

      She did not want Captain Lucien Howard to die in the wastes of the alpine scrub, made stiff by ice and cold by rain. She could help him a little, but with Adan and Manolo tagging along she understood they would not countenance anything that endangered safety.

      He would have to manage or he would die.

      She knew he saw that thought in her eyes because he suddenly smiled.

      Beautiful. Like the picture in his English newspaper, the sides of his mouth and eyes creasing into humour. She wished he had been ugly or old or scarred. But he was not. He was all sapped strength, wasted brawn and outrageous beauty. And cleverness. That was the worst of it, she suddenly thought, a man who might work out the thoughts and motivations of others and set it to work for his advantage.

      ‘I will be fit for the journey. Already I feel stronger.’

      When he leant forward Alejandra saw the bandage at his neck had slipped and the red-raw skin was exposed. It would scar badly, a permanent reminder of this place and this time.

      * * *

      Lucien knew Alejandra worried about the wound on his neck, though she smoothed her face in that particular habit she had so that all thoughts were masked.

      He imagined getting home to the safe and unscathed world of the ton, with war written on him beneath superfine wool. The hidden history on his back in skin and sinew would need to be concealed from all those about him, for who would be able to understand the cost of it and how many would pity him?

      A further distance. Another layer. Sometimes he felt he was building them up like children’s blocks, the balance of who he was left in danger of tipping completely.

      Except here with Alejandra in the light of a Spanish winter morning, the grey-green of olive branches sending dappled shadows across them.

      Here he did not have to pretend who he was or wasn’t and he was glad.

      Without her watching from a distance he might not have found the mental strength to try again and again and again to get up and move when everything ached and stung and hurt. She challenged him and egged him on. No sorrow in it or compassion. Both would have broken him.

      Breathing out, he rose from the seat and stood. He was always surprised just how much taller he was than her.

      ‘Tomorrow I will walk to the house.’

      ‘It СКАЧАТЬ