There Comes A Season. Carol Steward

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СКАЧАТЬ credit, he’d think that she had a personal interest in him. If she admitted Kevin had called her, she’d break the confidence he’d placed in her and possibly create problems between the two men.

      Before she could answer, Bryan made the decision for her. “No matter,” he said turning into the kitchen. “Thanks for your concern, but as you can see, Jacob and I are doing fine.”

      Laura heard the clamor of dishes and empty bottles. She hugged Jacob, letting his small warm body soothe her nerves as she followed Bryan.

      Watching Bryan from the doorway, his clenched jaw confirmed her suspicions. “What’s wrong, Bryan? You haven’t been the same since Friday…”

      His dark eyes filled with a burning, faraway look.

      “Bryan…?”

      He dropped a baby bottle into the dishwater and raked wet hands through his hair, then slammed his fists on the counter.

      “I guess I shouldn’t have come. I just thought, well…I thought that I was a little harsh Friday night about you not calling to let me know you’d be late.” She handed Jacob to him and turned to leave.

      He took hold of her arm and motioned for her to go into the living room. “Don’t go. We need to talk. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.”

      Laura sat on the sofa and hid a toy rabbit from Jacob, urging him to find it. She raised her eyes to find Bryan watching them.

      “If I’ve done something…”

      “You haven’t done anything. It’s about Jacob. He’ll be staying with my sister after Christmas.” Bryan walked to the tall, narrow window and gazed into the fading sunset.

      “Oh,” she whispered.

      “I expect to pay until you can find another child. I know this must be a difficult time to find a new client.”

      “You mean he’s staying there permanently?”

      He shrugged, lowering his head. “This isn’t an easy decision.”

      “I’m sure it isn’t. You’re giving your son away?”

      “It’s best for him,” he snapped.

      “I know the adjustment was hard for you at first, but the roughest part’s past. Are you sure about this?”

      When he didn’t answer, she knelt beside Jacob, who was reaching for a photo album. Rescuing the open book, she saw photos of Bryan and a woman standing before an elegant white stone fireplace. She wore a stunning cream sequined dress with diamond-and-emerald jewelry that matched her green eyes.

      Jacob’s mother was beautiful. Not that that should come as a surprise.

      Laura turned the pages. In every picture Jacob’s mother was immaculately dressed. Laura couldn’t imagine this woman pregnant, let alone cuddling the little boy Laura had come to love.

      She glanced at Bryan, who continued to stare out the window at the darkened sky, ignoring Jacob’s happy squeals.

      “I realize that your family was broken up just when it was starting, Bryan, but this seems so drastic. You and Jacob need each other now more than ever.”

      Laura felt her words of comfort were hollow. How could she possibly help someone else deal with his grief when she had such difficulty herself?

      “The three of us were never a family.” He grabbed the album from Laura’s hand and flung it across the room. The leather-bound book crashed into the wall and tumbled to the floor.

      Jacob wailed, frantically reaching for Laura. She swept him into her arms and bounced him on her hip until he calmed down.

      Bryan turned away and began to clean up the mess, carefully replacing the pages in the binder.

      “I’m a pretty good listener.”

      “We’ll be fine.”

      “You think you’re the only one who’s angry about losing a spouse?” she said, her voice racked with emotion.

      “I don’t think you understand the situation.” He glared, not at her, but past her, as if at an invisible enemy.

      “I’m willing to try.”

      “You couldn’t begin to understand, Laura. Your life is so sheltered…” His bellow stopped midsentence. He dropped the album into an empty chair and jammed his hands into his pockets.

      “Yes, it was once,” she softly admitted. The guilt she’d been fighting blanketed her. Why was it that this man could infuriate her at the same time her heart swelled with feelings she couldn’t understand?

      “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

      Frustration fed the tension between them.

      Bryan continued, “I’m just not cut out for fatherhood. You make parenting look so easy.”

      Laura closed her eyes, rubbing her aching temples, giving in to the tension that had been building all day. “Abandoned. Confused. Angry. Afraid.” Her tone hardened. “Easy? I know what you’re feeling, because I was there. I was Mrs. Todd Bates, wife, best friend, mother. Todd was everything to me.”

      “I’m not…”

      “No, Bryan, let me finish. I’m tired of this pedestal you seem to have put me on. I have the same fears and frustrations you and every other parent has. And like you, I’m learning to face them—alone.” She backed away and collapsed against a closet door.

      He sat on the couch, his profile rugged and somber.

      She swallowed hard, asking God to fill her with courage. She wasn’t sure if Bryan believed in Christ or not, or whether he would even listen. What she saw as God’s handiwork, others often saw as coincidences. Laura sat on the edge of the sofa.

      “Bryan, there hasn’t been an easy day since Todd died, whether we’re talking children or not. As much as my kids mean to me, there are days I don’t know how I can cope. Yet God placed them in my hands, to raise, to love, until He’s ready to take us home. It’s the same with my clients’ children.”

      Bryan reached across the sofa and took hold of her hand. The warmth and tenderness surprised her. “He gave you a very special gift, Laura.”

      She pulled her hand away, refusing to let herself feel anything for a man who could turn away his own child. “He gave you one, too, Bryan. A son.”

      “Right. And I’m doing a real bang-up job with him.”

      “It’s no sin to be less comfortable with a baby than an eight-year-old. God made each flower different. Some tolerate heat, some last until the snow falls, and some are only pretty a few weeks in the spring, but God takes care of them all in His special way.”

      As he considered her minisermon, she continued. “It won’t ever be easy without Todd, but I know now that I can manage. God answers our prayers every day, big and СКАЧАТЬ