Across The Line. Amy Lee Burgess

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СКАЧАТЬ wasn’t Alpha by the time I shifted the first time. He just never dissolved the pack bond even when he stepped down,” I said.

      Siobhan whispered in horror, “But that’s evil, Stanzie. Against Pack law.”

      I nodded. Tell me about it. “Anyway, I never shifted with anyone from my pack. It’s a long story. I ran away with someone from a different pack and we joined Riverglow and my pack bond was never activated.”

      “I don’t understand.” Of course she didn’t. What my father had done was monstrous and unheard of. He’d not only not dissolved the pack bond, he’d given it to children.

      “You know my wolf wasn’t normal,” I said and her breath hissed between her teeth as she sucked in a mouthful of air.

      She’d been so angry at me because I’d kept Murphy from returning to Mac Tire after we’d bonded. We’d worked on my wolf together. He’d been afraid to bring me and my wolf to his pack for fear of what my wolf might do in a big pack. Rules existed that she didn’t know and wouldn’t have followed or understood even if she had. Siobhan had been less than tolerant about the whole thing.

      “The pack bond?” Siobhan guessed. “It interfered somehow with your wolf?”

      “Yes,” I said. “It’s broken now and my father was exiled. So much for my pedigree. I come from a fucked-up pack and my family is the most fucked-up branch of it. The only time my wolf’s ever been normal was Paddy’s funeral. I haven’t shifted since and I’m afraid, that if I take another pack bond, she’ll be like she was. I know it’s irrational and I know I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t help how I feel.” Tears choked me and I bit my lip, miserably aware I was on the edge. “Now tell me how stupid I am. Go on, you know you want to.”

      Siobhan stared at me for a long moment. “Fee knows the whole story, doesn’t she? Liam as well?”

      I nodded. What the hell was she waiting for? I’d bared my throat and she had me down. All she had to do now was rip me to pieces. I’d given myself to her on a freaking platter.

      Angry blotches appeared on Siobhan’s cheeks. “The idiots. What the fuck were they thinking? They weren’t, that’s the truth of it. Colm and Deirdre have no clue, do they?”

      Was she angry at her children? Not me? What alternate universe had we been sucked into? “I don’t think so,” I managed to choke out. Goddamn tears. I always cried at the most inopportune moments.

      “You wait here. Don’t you move and don’t you puke again, you poor thing.” Siobhan whirled and stormed down the gravel path toward the courtyard.

      Poor thing? Huh?

      Alarmed, I tried to call her back, but she ignored me. Over the past few months, she’d gotten very good at ignoring me. Unless she specifically wanted to skewer me with unkind words, she pretended I didn’t exist. Was she actually going to go rip Murphy and Fee new assholes? On my behalf? And I was stuck out in the cold and supposed to wait? The woman was diabolical even when she apparently wanted to help.

      “Shit,” I muttered and kicked some loose gravel. I wrapped my arms around myself. Right on cue, a gust of cold autumn wind attacked. My hair blew into wild witch snarls as dead leaves rattled down the path around my boots.

      A cold stone bench tucked into a hedge more brown than green provided scant protection, but I retreated to it anyway. The chill from the stone penetrated through my jeans and I shivered. Shifting was going to be a bitch those few moments when we were naked and in this form. The temperature wouldn’t matter a damn once we’d achieved wolf form, but I didn’t relish freezing my ass off in the interim. I didn’t want to take the pack bond either. I didn’t want to make love in a group. Murphy and I hadn’t had sex in over a month. I wanted to be alone with him, not surrounded by other people. Was he going to be mad at me because his mother yelled at him in front of the whole pack and embarrassed the shit out of him? Was she going to shame him that way or had she just marooned me here so I wouldn’t ruin the whole fucking hunt?

      I tucked my chin beneath my turtleneck sweater in a vain attempt at warmth.

      The top of the hedge blocked my view so I couldn’t see what was happening in the courtyard or if everyone had gone into the castle to escape the bitter cold. I didn’t hear shouting. Just the goddamn wind and the relentless cold splash of water into the fountain. If only I could go into the castle. Fires would be burning in the massive fireplaces and there would be food and hot coffee.

      Murphy told me there was a huge room full of mattresses and blankets where the pack orgy took place when it was too cold or rainy to have sex outside in the meadow by the lake. Even though I wanted to be alone with him, I still wished I could be in that room right now. Or I had a hat. Why hadn’t I worn my knit hat to keep my ears from freezing? Or my gloves? Or another shirt under my turtleneck?

      Was Siobhan telling the entire pack about my father’s pack bond? At the top of her lungs so nobody was left out of hearing range, not even the kids?

      My father’s face mocked me from my mind’s eye. Cold and superior. Handsome. Reddish blond hair, disdainful smile. From the time I’d hit puberty, I’d never been good enough. Nothing I’d done had been right. He’d waited and schemed for the day I’d fall underneath his pack bond. The day he could make me do whatever he wanted.

      Just like Colm, Deirdre and Fee would be able to do in a few hours. No, it wouldn’t be like that. Mac Tire was over a hundred members strong and the pack bond would not be potent enough for the Alphas to have absolute control the way my father had over the twenty poor members of Mayflower. Everyone told me that. Only, what if it wasn’t true?

      What if my wolf wasn’t the same? What if she felt the yoke of another hated bond and refused to come out ever again? Maybe I would lose her forever because I was fucking stupid enough to willingly take another pack bond. I wasn’t just chaining myself, but enslaving her as well.

      Paddy’s funeral had been brutally sad, but my wolf had been perfect. She’d known me and I’d known her. We’d been fused in a way we’d never been before. She completed me in a way I’d never known was possible. I’d wanted so much to be with her again, but Murphy was busy and grief-stricken and nobody would let him alone, so, of course, he hadn’t had time for me or my wolf. I’d been content to wait. Stupid me, I’d forgotten about the damn pack bond. Now it was here and I’d only been with my wolf three times. It wasn’t enough.

      * * * *

      I was crying when two people sat beside me on the cold bench. I smelled them before I saw them. Colm and Deirdre. Two out of three of my Alphas. Great.

      Deirdre wrapped her arms around me and that made me cry even harder. Colm took one of my hands between both of his and squeezed. We sat together until I could stop the waterworks. They were so patient, my heart hurt. Why were they being so good to me? I was a pain in the ass. They didn’t have time for my stupid bullshit. They ought to be mad at me, but instead were comforting and kind.

      Gravel crunched beneath someone’s booted feet. I looked up and saw Fee, her face contorted with shame and sorrow. She lowered herself to her knees before me and buried her face in my lap. Her shoulders shook with sobs and I combed my fingers through her wind-snarled hair.

      “Don’t cry, Fee.” I’d made my Alpha cry.

      “You’re all the time helping me and letting me take over your life and your home. You’re more СКАЧАТЬ