Love Hurts. JJ Keller

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      October continued to be warm, to Shania’s pleasure. Patterns formed–Class, daycare, study. Sometimes her personal preferences didn’t fit well into the professor’s schedule. Today was one of those days. The lecture ran over by fifteen minutes. Frantic, she hoisted her portfolio onto her shoulder and rushed to pick up Justin. The pain in her chest seemed more intense today, causing her breath to catch, and not because of running from the classroom. No, the ache had been present from the time she’d left Morgan at the church.

      Would she ever be able to breathe normally again?

      “Shania. Shania Miller.” A man’s deep voice rushed the words. A bit of anxiousness filtered through his tone.

      She didn’t want to stop. Justin’s keen sense of timing made her run a little faster. Justin would worry.

      “Wait up, Shania,” he shouted.

      She sighed and pivoted a half-turn. “Dr. Raimo.”

      Dressed in a dark blue polo and khakis, he approached her with a broad smile. She held out her hand, causing the portfolio to bang against her side. He was handsome, smart and kind, but her heart belonged to Morgan. Dr. Raimo wanted a friendship, but if he had more than that in mind, she’d have to refuse an invitation. There wasn’t room for their lives for a prospective lover or father figure. However, he was a sweet man, so out of respect she’d be nice and listen.

      His dark brown irises lit with a fire as she looked into his eyes. Crap, the guy was into her.

      He clasped her hand. Peppermint-scented breath rushed out in short puffs. “Shania, how are you doing? Classes going well?”

      “Yes. I’m sorry, I need to go. I have to get Justin from daycare.” Her hand slipped from his grip. His eyes opened wide, no doubt because of her impolite behavior. She turned, her sneakers squeaking on the linoleum, hurried out the door and trotted down the sidewalk. She’d have to add rudeness to her growing list of unattractive qualities.

      Two blocks later, she walked through the open oval oak door into the vestibule of the church. The scent of sage and frankincense assaulted her nostrils as it had each time she’d entered. One antique walnut staircase and three turns down a hallway later, she came to the lower level nursery. She peeked through the clear round pane. Her son sat at a child sized table drawing with crayons.

      A rectangular face surrounded by white and black cloth obscured the window. Thick lenses enlarged dark irises in the deep set eyes. Shania jumped, her hand flying to her chest. The door opened. Sister Agnes’s large caped figure filled the space. Her beaded rosary swung out as she moved her generous hips. She was a force, and currently she blocked the entry.

      “Miss Miller, you’ve come to collect your son?” Her whispered voice carried to Justin.

      His face lit, and he scrambled from the table. Shania’s heart filled with happiness.

      “Yes, I’m sorry I’m late. The class ran over.” Shania’s voice rang through the room.

      “Some children are napping. Please keep your voice lowered.” Sister Agnes’s jowls jiggled like a bulldog’s.

      “Sorry, Sister,” Shania softly responded as she stepped across the threshold.

      Justin stowed his crayons and stuffed his miniature artist pad in his backpack. He rushed to her side.

      “Miss Miller, I find it necessary to mention that Justin’s shoes don’t fit his feet properly. The mission store is open if you’d like to take a look.” Her nose turned down, allowing her to peer over her tiny square spectacles.

      “Thank you, Sister, I’ll do that.” Shania grabbed Justin’s wrist. They made their way to the door. A roar filled her ears as her breath caught. The tears would have to wait. She refused to show weakness in public.

      She held tight to Justin’s hand, exited the room and turned the corner. Up a small set of stairs she entered the Gently Used store. The scent of starch and buffed old leather assaulted her nostrils.

      “Hi, Sister Magdalene. I’m searching for a pair of shoes for Justin. Has anything come in about his size?” Shania asked, while glancing at the clothing. Soon she’d have to buy him a new winter coat. The truth was she couldn’t purchase anything until her Certificate of Deposit matured in two weeks. In a moment of brilliance, she’d placed money in a number of CDs. Her research proved the deposits were a safe and efficient way of saving money. She made sure they matured at various times. She laughed. It wasn’t a well-made plan. Her books ended up costing twice what she’d allowed and between that and various other supplies, now she was strapped for cash.

      “I’m sorry, Shania. Shoes go fast, out of the box, onto the shelves and into hands of the needy.” She shook her head, making her habit shake. “I do have a fine pair of cowboy boots which might fit Master Justin.”

      She scurried to a wooden unit supported by bookshelves. Her nimble pale fingers tugged a lonesome pair of child’s red leather boots off the last rack. A bronco rider, with a lasso spinning above his head, had been stitched on the front of each shoe.

      “Oh,” Justin said. His face lightened with joy. He loved horses and there they were, ready to be worn and admired every day.

      “Want to try them on, Justin?” Sister Magdalene’s moon-shaped face brightened the room.

      He nodded, his blond locks falling into his eyes.

      Sister Magdalene sat on the floor and waved him over. He immediately ran, pivoted and sat on her lap. She pulled off the too-tight footwear and slipped on the boot. The left shoe hit the floor with a thud and the second cowboy rider was secured in place.

      “Now then, give them a try.”

      Justin stood and clomped around a small section of flooring. They were too big.

      “Mommy?” His anxious, sweet face begged her to take them.

      “The way he’s been growing, Shania, they’ll fit in a few weeks. They’re gently used.” Sister Magdalene rose, grabbed a red bandana, and wrapped it around Justin’s neck. She directed him to stand in front of the mirror.

      He was adorable. Too bad Halloween had passed. “How much are they?”

      “Five dollars.” The sister smoothed Justin’s hair. “The bandana is a gift.”

      Shania could eat peanut butter sandwiches for a few nights and Justin loved cereal. Thirteen more days and she’d have cash once again.

      “We’ll take them.” She smiled at Justin who proceeded to whoop and clack around the space, swaggering like a cowboy. “Thank you, Sister.”

       Her fingers dug through her backpack, searching the four pockets and coming up empty. Finally, in the center, tucked in a small space, was the five dollar bill. She laid it on the counter. The ting of the antique cash register sounded as the drawer popped out. Shania picked up his tennis shoes. He’d want to wear the boots home today.

      The time it took to get back to their apartment doubled as he slipped and slid on the oversized footwear. She couldn’t deny him the pleasure of owning the waders, and his small toes deserved a break.

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