King of the Worlds. M. Thomas Gammarino

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      “So let me just cut to the chase. I’d like you to audition for my next project.”

      This was precisely what Dylan had hoped Gilliam would say, but it was no less stupefying for his having anticipated it. “Wow,” he managed at length.

      “If it came down to appearance alone,” Gilliam went on, “I could tell you already that the part’s yours if you want it. You’ve got just the face I’ve seen in my dreams, handsome and angular, but tender and childlike at the same time. Looks aren’t everything, of course. Not by a long shot. I need to verify that you can act. Mind you, I’ve never done this before, scouted prospective talent like this, but since I spotted you on the set yesterday, my gut’s been telling me not to let you get away.”

      Holy crap! Was life really going to be this easy? Was high school really such a reliable predictor of future success? Was he really handsome and angular and tender and childlike?

      “I don’t know what to say,” Dylan said. “May I ask what the project is?”

      “You’ve seen E.T.?”

      “About a million times. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid.”

      “Good. Well this is the sequel. E.T. II: Nocturnal Fears. The idea has been kicking around Hollywood for years. There’ve been countless scripts. Spielberg himself wrote the first treatment and then abandoned it, said a sequel would rob the original of its virginity, which immediately struck me as a worthwhile undertaking. When I asked if he’d mind my adopting the project, he said, ‘Be my guest, just make sure my name’s nowhere on it.’ Naturally I went right to Henry Thomas, who played Elliott in the first film, but he read the script and declined, said pretty much what Spielberg had been saying, that it did violence to the spirit of the original, which is of course the point.”

      “May I ask how this one’s so different?”

      “I dare say you just did. Nocturnal Fears strikes a very different tone from the first E.T. Much darker. It begins the same way, with a spaceship landing in the forest and a silhouetted alien waddling down a ramp, but this alien, it turns out, is no angelic vegetarian like ET. No, this one is Korel, the leader of a race of red-eyed, albino carnivores from the same planet as ET. They intercepted ET’s distress signals when he was phoning home from his umbrella communicator in the first film, and they have come to capture and possibly eat him. ET’s name, by the way, turns out to be Zrek.”

      “Who knew?” Dylan said.

      “Right. So these evil guys end up trapping Elliott, who’s an adolescent now, in a cage aboard their mothership, and they interrogate him about Zrek’s whereabouts. They don’t speak English, so a good deal of the second act is told through the impromptu drawings they pass back and forth. It makes for some pretty bold cinema, if I may say so myself. Ultimately the albinos resort to out-and-out torture and things get quite brutish before Korel’s wife, Korelu, shows mercy on Elliott. She doesn’t have the wherewithal to set him free, but she mocks Korel through her drawings and she and Elliott laugh together. Before you know it they can be seen, in silhouette, making love through the beams of his light cage.”

      “Elliott loses his virginity to an alien?”

      “Quite right. But wouldn’t you know that in the very height of their passion, who walks in but Korel himself! His eyes glow blood-red and his wife shouts all kinds of protests in their strange, chordal language. Korel, meanwhile, rips some razor-sharp teeth out of the mouth of this winged shark thing in one of the other cages—a specimen from another planet, presumably—then he unlocks Elliott’s light cage with his mind and, using an excretion from the base of his spine, proceeds to glue the teeth to Elliott’s penis. Mind you, none of this is shown directly so much as it is implied—we want the R rating after all. Korel then instructs Elliott, via a drawing, to pick up where he left off with Korelu. Elliott refuses. Korel rips out another tooth, holds it to his wife’s neck, points to the drawing again, and utters his first phrase of English: ‘Fuck you.’ Elliott begins to cry.”

      The barista put down their drinks and s’mores. They thanked the barista.

      “Well?” Dylan said.

      “Well what?”

      “What happens next?”

      “Excellent. Act three: Zrek, of course, re-arrives from space to kick albino ass and save the day. Zrek turns out to be highly skilled in the celestial martial arts. Certain critics are going to say that I cheated by taking the climax out of the protagonist’s hands and handing it over to Zrek, making him in effect a deus ex machina, so in order to at least acknowledge that I’ve done so consciously, I have Zrek land in a different part of the country, the planet’s having rotated and whatnot, and commandeer a Ferrari Testarosa. Machina, you know, is the Italian word for car, so what you get in effect is a clever pun for the intellectual set. Meanwhile, it also makes for some comic relief and thrilling action sequences.”

      “How does it end?”

      “Okay, so just as we recapitulated the beginning of the first film, we do so again with the ending. Korelu gives birth to a boy. Looks-wise he’s exactly intermediary between her and Elliott. Elliott’s mother has a talk with Elliott about how her little boy has really grown up and how he needs to step up and assume responsibility. This is clearly a very personal issue for her, her own husband having run off to Mexico before the first film. Elliott hugs her and promises to be a good father. Cut to a wedding ceremony in a church, with Zrek as best man. Everyone throws confetti as Elliot and Korelu walk out of the church, hand in hand, and get in Zrek’s Ferrari. The baby is snug in his car seat in the back. Zrek chauffeurs the newlyweds and their newborn up the gangplank into the spaceship and we see that the car is towing a bunch of cans and the license plate reads ‘JUST MARRIED.’ Elliott breaks the fourth wall, looks directly at the camera and says ‘I’ll be back’ in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. They go up into the belly of the ship, the doors close, and they embark on their honeymoon to the Outer Rim. Roll credits.”

      “Yes, I’d say it definitely strikes a different tone from the first E.T.”

      “I’m glad you agree.”

      “And you’d want me to play Elliott? I mean maybe?”

      “Well, you look enough like Henry Thomas that an audience will be willing to suspend its disbelief. At the same time, you’ve got a look all your own, one I haven’t quite seen before in the movies. Not the boy next door so much as the boy next door to him. Am I interesting you at all?”

      “My God,” Dylan said. “I’ve never been so interested in anything in my life.”

      “Great. So once we put a wrap on 12 Monkeys, we’ll organize a proper audition. Now let me make sure I’ve got your contact info.”

      Dylan wrote down his address and phone number in a little black book, and then they proceeded to eat their s’mores. Dylan wanted to impress Gilliam in conversation but lacked the life experience. Fortunately Gilliam was loquacious, and as long as Dylan kept prodding him with earnest questions about the industry, all he really had to do was listen.

      Once again, Dylan told nobody about what had happened. Some part of him was convinced it would all come to naught, that it was far too good to be true. His pessimism was reinforced when summer came to a close without his ever hearing another peep from Gilliam. He and Chad quit their jobs and moved into the “New Res” dorms at Temple. They went to class, read Oedipus and Shakespeare, and auditioned for a play called Balm in Gilead. СКАЧАТЬ