King of the Worlds. M. Thomas Gammarino

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      He picked up one of the spilled letters and took it out of its envelope. This one was a handmade Valentine’s card—all construction paper, glitter, and heart stickers. Down by the loopdidoo signature was the smeared, clay-colored imprint of some very fulsome lips.

      He read:

      Wendy Sorenson

      243 Moana Street

      Laie, HI 96762

Dear Mr. Greenyears:4

      4_____________

      Part of Dylan’s reinvention of himself upon moving to New Taiwan was to drop the “years” from his name.

      You don’t know me yet but I am your biggest fan ever. Seriously. I’ve been in love with you ever since one of my friends made me watch ET II: Nocturnal Fears, which is a movie I’m technically not supposed to know about but have on tape and watch at least five times every day. Not the whole movie of course but just the parts with you in them. I’m sure you hear this a lot but my favorite part is the part where you make out with Korelu through the bars of your light cage. I know you’re totally just acting but to tell you the truth you look so hot in that scene that I get so jealous I seriously want to shoot Korelu in the face even though I’m sure she’s really cool. She’s soooo pretty too, for an alien. I know it’s just a movie and you were just acting but I figure there must have been some attraction there because it seems so real the way you do it. I wasn’t going to say this but I’m just going to say it, okay, because I don’t even care. If you ever want an Earthling girl to make out with like that I’ll totally do anything you want. I don’t even care what it is. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a slut. Honestly I’ve never even done it with anyone. But I would with you though. Honestly I’d marry you right now if you asked me. I’m only sixteen though so we might need to wait a year or something.

      Love always,

      Wendy

      Now how many men ever got a letter like that in their lives? And to think he’d received such insane propositions on a regular basis for a couple of years there. It was absolutely weird the way the silver screen could deify you back in those days. He had no idea whether it was still that way for up-and-coming stars back on Earth, but he doubted it. Were there even stars in the same way there used to be? Before the advent of the Internet and Quantum Travel? In general, he made a point of remaining oblivious to all that.

      He read through a few more letters and was curious to note that not a single one had come from a male. He couldn’t say for certain whether this reflected the actual demographics of his fan mail or just his own curatorial bias, but in any case he had no memory of ever getting a letter from a dude.

      Not all of his female admirers were so hot and bothered, of course.

      Dear Mr. Greenyears,

      I am thirteen and I hope to be a professional actress someday. I wanted to express to you in this letter that I think you are a really good actor. I saw E.T. II: Nocturnal Fears at my friend’s house during a sleepover, and even though I was really scared, I thought you did a really great job! Now I can’t wait for Titanic! Congratulations about that! How did you learn to act so great? Do you have any advice for an up-and-coming actress? I hope you win an Oscar. You totally should. Also, can you send me an autographed glossy photo please?

      Sincerely,

      Theresa

      Not every letter was glowing. There’d been more than a few complaints from outraged mothers—as if it made any sense to grouse about the film’s content with the eighteen-year-old lead instead of, say, the writer or director. And anyway, the content wasn’t that bad. Yes, Elliott makes love to an alien, but there’s nothing full-frontal about the scene. Moreover, Korelu is clearly a female alien from a dimorphic species, and while she and Elliott can’t quite communicate yet, it’s clear from the soundtrack that they are madly in love. Some critics found it implausible and disgusting, worse than bestiality, while other, more forward-looking reviewers saw in it a bold bid for sexual equality. In any case, it stimulated discussion, which could only be a good thing considering that before long such questions would cease being theoretical.

      Young man,

      I hope you’re worried about the state of your soul. I saw the pitiful excuse for a film you were involved in, and I just want you to know that I found it disgusting and sad. When America goes down the tubes once and for all (it began in the sixties), we will have moral reprobates like you to thank. Don’t you know that you’re here in this world for just a brief time? Look to the state of your soul, young man, and consider yourself prayed for.

      –Gertrude Winifred Gans

      The irony of that penultimate line was thick. Sure enough, Dylan had remained on Earth for only a brief time after receiving that letter, though he was pretty sure Gertrude Winifred Gans was no prophet. Had she written “you’re here on this world for just a brief time,” it might have given him some real pause, but she’d written, “in this world,” and eternity hinged on that single letter of difference. Still, some atavistic, God-fearing part of him was just beginning to look to the state of his soul when Erin, mercifully, called him in to dinner. Like Aeolus bottling the winds, he stuffed the letters back in the box, and closed the lid.

      As soon as he swiped away the door, the kids came and hugged his legs.

      “Daddy!”

      “Da—y!”

      Now he was ready. Now it was nice.

      • • •

      The next day at school, Dylan attempted, again, to stage act 3, scene 2 of A Midsummer Night’s Dream with his freshman drama class.

“Okay, so let’s review the situation here because it’s a little complicated. Who likes whom5 at this point, do you recall? Let’s start with Hermia. Whom does she like? You know what, Connor, maybe you could draw it on the board for us?”

      5_____________

      As a lover of language and a product of Catholic school, Dylan had grown up clearly distinguishing between “who” and “whom,” but over the course of his career he’d watched that rare inflection all but go extinct. He still used it, but his students by and large did not, and he was not so puritanical as to want to wage that losing war alone. Things change with time, whether we want them to or not, nothing lasts, and in the words of the immortal Lao Tzu (though they might as well have come from Darwin): “What is malleable is always superior to that which is immovable. This is the principle of controlling things by going along with them, of mastery through adaptation.”

      Connor nodded and slowly lifted himself up. Friends in baseball caps on either side patted him on the shoulders as if he’d just lost a contest or a loved one. When he got to the front of the room, Dylan handed him a green marker.

      “All right, so Connor, please draw a girl on the board for us. You can keep it simple. A bathroom girl will do.”

      “A bathroom girl?”

      “You know, the restroom girl? The intragalactic sign for girl?”

      “There’s an intragalactic sign for girl?”

      “Sorry. СКАЧАТЬ