Relationship. Paul Evanson

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СКАЧАТЬ making our own immediate and worldly priorities second to this command, we are fulfilling God’s purpose in every interaction.

      Start ordering your day in light of this simple truth. When you look at what’s important, make sure it’s “who, not what.” As you’re making decisions, put the “who” first. The “what’s” are what get us off track.

       Who is with me?

       Who is affected?

       Who is involved?

       Who does this matter to?

      There is really no such thing as a “random interaction.” Each human encounter has a reason.

      How many times do we just go through the motions of our day? We get up, get the kids off to school, go to work, clean the house, do the shopping, go to church—often without having an authentic conversation the entire day.

      Making relationships a priority means taking the time to be present. It means being aware of the people with whom we’re interacting and taking the time to really see them, really listen to them. Rather than averting our eyes in line at the grocery store, it means engaging others in conversation. Many of those seemingly random people you encounter are feeling isolated, alone and unhappy. One small gesture—a quick smile, a light conversation, a compliment, sharing a joke—can change all that.

      It can be scary to reach out to others. In fact, at first, some people might look at you like you’re from another planet! But soon you’ll find that you are demonstrating Christ’s love in the world. You will be changing lives, one interaction at a time.

      

      “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

      Chapter 3: One Interaction at a Time

      Think about the interactions you’ve had so far today. What was said? How did the other person seem to be feeling? Did you look him or her in the eye? Did you pause long enough to be fully present? Did you ask God, “What do you want to do in this interaction?”

      The only way we can do this work is by being fully present in every interaction. It is so easy to get bogged down in the past(accomplishment, shame, and regret) or to live in the future(worry, fear, and anxiety). But the past and future exist only in our thoughts. All that really exists is right here, right now—this moment.

      So this moment is where we must practice. ”Here I am, in the presence of this person(or people). God loves this person completely. How can I get out of the way and let God express Himself?”

      It is so easy to go through our days numb and blind: to just give the cashier our money without looking her in the eye or talking to her, to kiss our spouse goodbye and go on about our day, to check our e-mails while listening to a friend on the phone. Our bodies are in one place but our minds are somewhere else. We are going through the motions.

      Technology has only made things worse. All of our gadgets and 24/7 connection to information and entertainment pull us in multiple directions. While we are more “connected” than ever, people feel less connected and more alienated than ever. How many times have you been eating out and seen a couple with one person talking on their cell phone or furiously texting away? How many of us talk on the phone and drive? Technology is not bad in and of itself but when we don’t pay attention to how we use it, it can serve as a wedge to keep us from being present. Technology seems to make us think that we can multi-task well but research has shown that we can’t. God designed our brains to do one thing well at a time.

      (“Is Multitasking Bad for Us?” [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/is-multi- tasking-bad.html] by Brandon Keim, Nova Magazine, Oct 4, 2012);

      It’s amazing how much we’ve become used to the idea that we can multitask. For a day(or an hour!) challenge yourself—try doing one thing at a time. Try being fully present to the task at hand and, most importantly, to the people with whom you are interacting. We need to take inventory of anything that is distracting us from being present and make a plan to reduce or eliminate those distractions.

      

      How Are We Doing? Awareness is the first step, practice is the second, and evaluation and improvement is the third. God gives us great guidelines to figure out how we are doing. While the Bible is full of guidelines on how to be in authentic relationship, two come to mind.

      The first is Galations 5:22: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

      In our daily conversations with God, we can ask Him, “So, how am I doing on this?” and “Show me how I can improve.” Chances are, if you pray for God to help you with love, joy, etc., he’ll provide plenty of chances to practice. God is great that way.

      The second verse that helps us determine how we are doing at being in authentic relationship is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

      “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

      Since our purpose here is to love God, our neighbor, and ourselves, this verse a great self-evaluation tool and easy to apply every day.

       Was I patient? Was I kind?

       When I spoke to my friend was I envious or boastful?

       Did my pride get in the way?

       In what ways was I rude or self-seeking today?

       Did I lose my temper?

       Am I being forgiving or am I holding grudges?

       Was I honest in all my interactions? Did I secretly feel good about someone else’s failure?

       How did I show that I am protecting and trusting with everyone I spoke to today?

       Did I hold back my own secrets in order to look good?

      Love never fails. No matter what your answers are to any of these questions, if you focus on your purpose, love, you can’t fail!

      The answers to the questions above tell us how we can learn and grow and it is not done by trying harder. It’s done by trying less and letting God do the heavy lifting. We just need to get out of His way and he’ll shape us and the other person. Every interaction will be imperfect since we are imperfect beings. It’s not a matter of our “doing it right.” Any effort we make in being fully present and letting the Lord work through us is good effort.

      Now What?

      You may be overwhelmed at this point. “I certainly can’t live up to these standards and I don’t know anyone who can.” Answer: God can. He has designed us to love Him and others by His love, his faith, his strength and his faithfulness. Our faith isn’t even the size of a mustard seed or we’d be moving mountains! God’s faith, on the other hand, СКАЧАТЬ