Words B Word, Right?. Cathy Lorraine Bagley MD

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СКАЧАТЬ filling a fountain of frustration many frenzied, feverish years

       while puppeteer perilously pulled person-strings?

      I acquiesced to his sensitivities, trivialized my fears.

       I am gratefully grown, not grieving, groveling having gained God’s grace.

       His hand held this holey hurting heart helping its whole healing.

       Consequently, every sunrise and set since gazing back,

      I fight never to forget former forlorn love lost frigid, unfeeling-

       an accomplishment after always achingly attempting to achieve his all!

       This boldly beautiful but battered butterfly wouldn’t/couldn’t beg

       him to beg for my forgiveness. He was a pulseless knave incapable of

       claiming culpability. Instead, I grew within- a third eye, and without- a third leg!

       These new and improved parts wouldn’t allow me… Unprecedently, I no longer since setting myself free crash-landed and couldn’t crawl, cry, creep along anymore aiding, abetting allowing his yellow-bellied, yowling, yelling, joltingingly judging, jealous jabs,

      poking, prodding, punching fists, manipulating, misusing, modulating moody, oppressively obtrusive, odious

      self-sole-satisfying, sadistic stabs to tease then tear down this/my tremendously treasured totem pole powerfully, properly propped, planted, preciously protected.

       That former man-beast I’ve since erased reclaiming my

      underutilized, unappreciated all unclaimed, unloved, rejected! Now, a nervy, nicely new, guarded, gilded, greatly grown, totem’s tremendously transformed.

      Envigorated, its ego’s earned every

      obtainable outpouring of optimism’s outcome.

      Resultingly, a residual life- rested, restored, reformed.

      Proudly poised standing here today with an intact image unbittered, unscathed, uninterrupted, unencumbered, mended me knows with even the half woman I willfully was back then,

       he was and still remains helplessly, hopelessly two-to-one outnumbered!

       Self-enlightenment brought what I needed to save myself, break bonds; obtain deliverance. Peace came as if I suddenly grew wings like a dove

      making it hard to believe flying this high how beautiful my casted shadow appeared from a brand new perspective at this angle from above.

       Never again needing nudging-

       complete, captivatingly complex, commandingly cool,

       many marvel at a most magnificent make-over: when my mate moves,

      I flow, fluttering flirtaciously fully a woman not a fickle flinching fool!

       As he rises, reaching ready to release

      himself, his heart, head, hand

      obligatorily, obviously, only,

      exclusively every evening eternally,

      I accept only pain-free love, one with no regrets.

      Finally, I own this reality purchased at a price:

       Worthy love doesn’t bruise, punch, slap, kick,

      condescend, ignore, chide; mar externally or internally. It allows available actively attaching love lenience to let loose leveling fibers forever to fly frequently, freely flow.

      A lesson duly learned by a former sleeping beauty

      kissed not by a fairy-tale’s peck but by reality’s rivoting rap.

      She/I finally awoke. The process was painfully slow.

      Now in every way I find myself… Aways attentive, self-assured, affirmed, adjusted to affable, agreeable, augmenting affections.

      Because of lessons learned from a once-time love,

       I clearly see having undertaken a self-togetherness journey no longer trapped in a web of partial truth seeming true deceptions.

      Not Just A House…

      Not Just A House…

      Building a house not just any- one with a foundation stronger than many. Building a life lasting connection- a springboard for exponential growth

      from a foundation built to perfection.

       By planting this tree

       here instead of there,

       one floods won’t uproot

       constructed to must bear

       inclement weather:

       frigid, scorching; gale force gusts.

       One armed with a security

      thieves fears, this occupant trusts.

       Future appears brighter patiently

       awaiting final product completion.

       of an owned place worth coming home to signifying

       stablity without foreclosure concerns or accidental deletion.

       A solid place built not solely of

       stone, brick, mortar, beams; treated wood,

       weather-proof shingles but of determination, patience,

       sacrifice- building blocks thought intrinsically good.

       Home construction’s serious business

       bringing stress relief when its measured pieces fit right;

       costing dearly yet reimbursing lucrative gains,

      a personal wise investment when others are sinking in plain sight.

      Building a house. It’ll soon be done. Building a dream stacked to be won… That near final race worthwhile to the end. Incremental, patient steps taken slowly to ascend stairs to a home almost completly constructed held together with

      grace’s mortar, faith’s nails- less than one iota of naysayer’s sand! A medical degree soon to be awarded- a solid foundation for a house under construction, completed with a degree, then a license in hand.

      Daylight Moon

      Daylight СКАЧАТЬ