The Marriage Manual. Mike Clark

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      The point is that two are better than one. We were not created to live for ourselves or by ourselves. One is meaningless, even with all the material treasures we could hoard. We were created to enjoy companionship. And if two are better than one, why not three, or four, or more?

       A cord of three strands

      The author of Ecclesiastes recognizes this in his final illustration, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This cord is obviously familiar to us as a rope braided together from three separate strands of fibers. We do not need an engineer to tell us that a braided cord of three strands is far stronger than single strands of rope, or even two strands wound together. I have asked many times in sermons and wedding messages for an engineer to tell me how many times stronger a three-fold, braided cord is than three single unbraided strands. No one has yet taken me up on my challenge. I can only guess that it is at least 3 or 4 times stronger. This is true because of the effect of the braiding. The strength of a rope is determined by the friction between the separate strands. The greater the number of strands results in a greater friction that produces greater strength. The braiding binds three cords together in a way that multiplies the strength of each separate strand.

      It is impossible to create a braided rope with only two strands. When two strands are woven together, they quickly unravel. I have two daughters, so I have experience in braiding hair from when they were young. The tight weave of three strands is a must for a braid that will last a busy day. Herein lies a mystery. The weave makes it difficult to tell how many braids are intertwined. What looks like two strands is really three. The third strand of hair keeps the other two strands tightly woven. The three strands also create a beautiful design of order and harmony.

      In the case of a rope, the braid provides a greater amount of strength and more benefits. A firefighter explained to me that the braided rope’s strength also has some give. When used as a safety rope when someone falls, the rope arrests the fall, stretches, and then bounces back to ease the jolt of coming to the end of the rope. A wrangler shared with me another strength of a braided rope. If one frayed strand breaks, there is still enough tension from the braiding so that the other two strands hold the rope tightly until the broken strand can be repaired. An electrician described what happens when you do not braid three or more cords together while lifting a weight. The shortest cord takes the greatest amount of stress from the weight and is subject to breaking first. Braided ropes compensate for shortness and weakness among the various cords intertwined while contributing flex, beauty, order and back-up strength.

      In many situations two are not enough. Three are better, particularly when it comes to enduring difficult situations. The divorce rate alarms us today. Over one out of four new marriages end in divorce. One out of two of all marriage ends in divorce as the patterns of failure create continued problems for the remarried. What happens to a man and a woman who joyously proclaim their love “till death do us part”? Troubles happen: illness, grief, loss of jobs, financial stress, inability to learn how to communicate, unresolved behavioral or childhood problems, etc. Two have a limited strength to endure difficulty. For others, love seems to dry up as boredom sets in. The reasons for divorce are as many as the couples involved. Two in marriage are not enough.

      A strong, braiding third cord is needed. Who is this third cord? It is not a child. Children are often present in failing marriages. Anyone with children knows that a child is a gift and a source of greater stress at the same time. Who is the third cord? Another male or female? No, that has often been tried and found disastrous. The Bible has a clear answer. The third cord to be braided into marriage between husband and wife is God.

      Through the chapters of this book, let us look through the pages of the Bible to discover how God intended marriage partnership to be wrapped with His inexhaustible supply of love, strength, patience, mercy, and wit. We move from this ideal expressed in Ecclesiastes to its application in the first marriage found in the Bible in Genesis chapters one and two. When the braided cord is unraveled in Genesis chapter three, God does not give up on husband and wife. An unlikely pair in the Old Testament, Ruth and Boaz, gives us a glimpse of the possibilities for marriage. In the New Testament, we discover that God provides the Savior for people and for marriage. Jesus Christ reforms the marriage braid, so that marriage becomes the New Testament image for the deeper relationship of Christ and His bride, the Church. In the last chapter of this book, we catch a glimpse of the future of marriage in God’s eternal kingdom. Through it all, we discover the grace of God available in Jesus Christ upon which we can base a healthy relationship of marriage.

       Questions for reflection and insight:

      1 Who are two of your heroes or heroines? Why do you look up to them?

      2 Rugged individualism is a way of American life. How has looking out for yourself helped you and how has it hurt you?

      3 Which of the images of “two are better than one” appeals to you most? Why?

      4 Who are you thankful for because he/she has been one who has helped you get a better return, helped you up, defended you, and kept you warm?

      5 How will you better your marriage this week by practicing at least one of these images of partnership?

      6 How has the “third cord” of God helped your marriage?

      In Our Image

       Genesis 1

       “Discovering Humanity’s Unique Place in Creation”

       Genesis 1 (NRSV) In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, 2 the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.

       3 Then God said, “Let there be light” and there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

       6 And God said, “Let there be a dome in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” 7 So God made the dome and separated the waters that were under the dome from the waters that were above the dome. And it was so. 8 God called the dome Sky. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.

       9 And God said, “Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together He called Seas. And God saw that it was good. 11 Then God said, “Let the earth put forth vegetation: plants yielding seed, and fruit trees of every kind on earth that bear fruit with the seed in it.” And it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation: plants yielding seed of every kind, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.

       14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the dome of the sky to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth.” And it was so. 16 God made the two great lights—the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night—and the stars. 17 God set them in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth, 18 to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

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