The Marriage Manual. Mike Clark

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ something happened on the way to the top. It was not such a meaningful experience. For those who made it, the success seemed empty. Individualism meant lonely, empty people still aching for more, even in executive offices and mansions on hillsides. The wise writer of Ecclesiastes documented this problem thousands of years ago, yet it still applies to many ‘successful’ people today. Eccl 4:8 (NIV) “There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment? This too is meaningless—a miserable business!”

      There is much more to life than financial success. God did not create us to be isolated from others behind wrought iron gates and security devices. Much of my ministry has been spent among those who are rich in the eyes of the world, but poor in the eyes of God; relationship poor, spiritually impoverished, unable to relate to others, and lacking a knowledge of the grace of God. I have seen many with mansions, fancy cars, and the toys of success, but their children did not know them, their marriages were shambles, and they could not stand their neighbors. “This too is meaningless—a miserable business!“ An extreme example of this drive to succeed in the race to the top of the financial pyramid was Howard Hughes. Howard Hughes was the world’s richest man, yet in paranoid seclusion he lived and died isolated from everyone. He represents loneliness and deprivation from true enjoyment of those who rely only on themselves.

      We have forgotten how God planned for us to live. We are social animals of the highest order. Take that not as a critique or a compliment, just a statement of fact. Made not to live alone, God created us to live in communities of support and encouragement. Listen to the continued wisdom of the author of Ecclesiastes, the book of wisdom,

      Eccl 4:9-12 (NIV) “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

       Two are better than one

      The author of these verses conveys his message through images; symbols of life perfect for our visual age and our modern media minds. First, we hear of the image of work. Two work better than one. They double their effort and at least double the achievement. Working as partners, they encourage each other. They blend their talents to multiply the results. Spelling each other when each needs relief, they are more efficient. Watching out for problems, they keep each other from work-slowing mistakes. Motivating each other, they produce more than two working alone.

      I needed to put up a fence to keep my new puppy in one part of my yard, away from plants and wood furniture she loved to chew and destroy. I had never put up a fence before. I bought the fence parts and began to work. At best I figured it would take me three long days to put up the fence, if I did not make too many mistakes. A good friend volunteered to help me. He had some experience building fences. We set to work in the morning and finished that night. He saved me from a lot of wasted time and mistakes. Others have commented on what an attractive fence we made. Two are better than one for they have a good return for their work.

       If one falls down, his friend can help him up

      In the next verse the author, probably wise King Solomon, draws a picture of someone falling down. He wrenched his ankle and lies hurting on the ground. Good news! He has a friend with him. She helps him up, tends to his scrapes, binds up his ankle, and delivers him to a hospital. What if he had been alone with no one there to help him up again?

      On a trip to Arizona, I walked a seldom-used trail high in the Santa Rita Mountains. Needing a time of quiet reflection and prayer, I sought solitude along this path. Earlier that day, as I rested by a bubbling brook on a warm, flat boulder, a bear ambled down to the stream without noticing me. I remained quiet and watched. He padded down the path while I continued up the mountain. Shortly I was 1000 feet higher along a narrow ridge. Huffing and puffing with the ascent and altitude, my legs grew increasingly tired. I miss-stepped and the edge of the ridge gave way beneath me. Crashing down on my side, I barely managed to keep from falling over the drop to my left. In some pain, I slowly rose again to my feet. Thankful that no bone had broken, and that I had not dropped some fifty feet or more down the mountainside, I felt alone and foolish. Was this wise to be alone miles from anyone else? What if I had fallen over the edge or broken a leg or both? I wished for a friend to be there with me. Indeed, “pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.”

       If two lie down together, they will keep warm

      Two are warmer under one blanket, even if, like my great-grandfather, you share your blanket with a horse. Many husbands and wives like this image of two getting close together and warming each other up on cold nights. In emergency situations shared body warmth can save lives. Hypothermia is the lowering of body temperature due to exposure to cold. A person who falls in cold, mountain water, even on a warm day, can quickly suffer from hypothermia and die. One of the best remedies for this serious situation when out in the wilderness away from medical care, involves using the body heat of another to warm up the sufferer. Taking off the victim’s wet clothing and placing him or her in a sleeping bag or wrap of blankets is not enough. Their body cannot generate enough heat to warm themselves again. Another person must get into the sleeping bag or blankets with the sufferer to generate the heat to warm him or her back to normal body temperature.

      There are many cold nights, and not all are dark, winter nights. Cold nights come when a loved one has died, when a job is lost, when a trusted one betrays us, when a child is hurting, or when many more trials and troubles come our way. How can one keep warm on such cold nights? Spouses and friends are necessary help. They warm us back to life. Not just our personal family, but also a family in Christ, a church family, can help warm us up and bring us back to life. What a joy it is to be part of a loving, caring group of people committed to each other, especially during dark nights of the soul.

       Two can defend themselves

      “Watch your backside!” yells one blocking linesman to the quarterback just before he is blind-sided and sacked. As in football, so in daily life we experience attacks and temptations that catch us off guard. People we thought we could trust let us down. Places we thought were strong crumble. Life is filled with unwelcome surprises. One cannot see behind oneself. One has a limited perspective. But two can watch out for each other in defense. They can stand back to back and see 360 degrees. Together they stand better prepared to ward off attack.

      Partners often have different viewpoints that they express to each other. Some think differing viewpoints are a negative in a relationship, but they wrongly equate the benefits of diversity with a lack of unity. Two do not have to agree on all things to have a unity of purpose. They do need to be for each other. Their differing insights benefit their relationship, not hinder it, when they use them to pursue wisdom together.

      The wonderful example of our eyes illustrates the necessity of two perspectives united to give depth of view. The view of one eye unites in the mind with the view of the other eye to gauge how distant an object is from the body. Two eyes provide three-dimensional viewing. Try walking around with one eye covered and notice the difference. Two viewpoints add depth to our decisions, our marriages, and our lives when they work together.

      Two are better than one in picking each other up, keeping warm, working effectively and warding off attacks. You may notice that this passage from Ecclesiastes says nothing specifically about two in marriage. These illustrations of two being better than one are often lived out in different types of relationships. Soldiers in early times would stand together against attack. Travelers would huddle together under a common blanket. We still gather together under common blankets СКАЧАТЬ