Lasting Impressions. John Schlarbaum

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СКАЧАТЬ took off her helmet. "Don't sound so thrilled."

      "I'm just tired."

      Jeremy didn't reply, opening the garage door and pushing the bike inside. Returning a minute later, they started up the walkway.

       "After a couple weeks, we'll have you toughened up." He placed his arm around her waist and pulled her close as they approached the front steps. When he attempted a kiss, Susan turned her head slightly forcing his lips onto her cheek.

      "Playing hard to get?"

      A wry smile crossed Susan's face, as it occurred to her that if she went ahead with her plans, she'd be very hard to get tonight or any night afterwards.

      Susan soon found comfort for her aching body on the living room couch while Jeremy put away the helmets. She was certain she'd fall asleep. The sooner this night is done, the better.

      Jeremy entered the room at the moment Susan closed her eyes. "Don't go to sleep on me, unless of course, you are going to fall asleep on me." He laughed and headed to the liquor cabinet. "What do you want to drink? The bar is fully loaded." Jeremy turned with a big smile on his face and was disappointed to see Susan staring blankly at him. "I wish you'd loosen up," he said, turning back to the bar.

      "I bet you would," Susan said under her breath.

      "What was that?" Jeremy asked.

      "Ah . . . I said a rye and cola will be fine."

      "B-o-r-i-n-g. I've got every kind of liquor known to man and you want rye?"

      "Yes, I want a rye, okay?" she snapped.

      "Fine!" Jeremy responded, as he began to fix their drinks. "What's your problem?"

      "It's nothing. Forget it."

      "Hey, fine with me. I have no interest in starting a fight. Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked, handing her the glass.

      "Sure."

      Jeremy grabbed the TV remote and began reading the movie listings. "In a few minutes Love Actually is coming on. Do you want to watch that one?"

      "That's fine."

      Susan's glass was empty in no time. She didn't care how fast or how much she had to drink tonight. She was feeling depressed (although the alcohol was cheering her up), and her emotions for Jeremy were getting mixed up, confusing her even more. There were simply too many memories connected to this house.

      Oblivious of Susan's internal breakdown, Jeremy positioned himself behind her on the couch to watch the movie, and not so subtly put his hand under her top, on her stomach. After a few minutes he began to gently rub the area, with each stroke becoming wider until his hand brushed against her bra. For Jeremy, this procedure was a tried and true method of gauging how far his girlfriend was willing to let him go, and in the process, how far she wanted to go.

      Once this charade began, Susan could usually decide rather quickly, but tonight was different. Jeremy's hand did feel good on her skin. She had been a willing participant in this game many times before, knowing that Jeremy had only one thing on his mind. The alcohol was supposed to give her strength to say, "No," to his sexual advances and their relationship. She knew Jeremy's next move would be to unclasp her bra, and if she allowed that it was like giving him the green light, which she didn't want to do.

      Jeremy almost professionally unsnapped Susan's bra. Yes!

      What am I doing? Susan thought. Now there's no turning back. One thing would lead to another and soon they'd be sprawled across the couch, moaning into each other's ears. One would say, "I love you," to which the other person would reply, "I love you, too." Sometimes it was as if the words were merely thrown in for effect.

      Soon Jeremy's hand was at her jean button, which he expertly popped and then undid her zipper - all in one smooth motion. As he slid his hand under the waistband of her panties, he turned her over and began to kiss her.

      I don't want to do this! Susan's mind was cautioning, but her physical desires were fighting her emotions. She enjoyed being with Jeremy like this. His hands on her skin and her hands exploring his body. Tonight was not right though. I don't love him! This isn't making love, it's cheap sex!

      Jeremy was unaware of the volcano about to erupt. As usual, everything had gone according to plan and after a respectful rendition of those three magic words, he'd drive home how lucky Susan was to have him.

      Susan couldn't kid herself any longer. As Jeremy uttered, "Susan, I love . . ." she shoved him away, her arms flailing in all directions.

      "What are you doing?" Jeremy asked, losing his balance and crashing unceremoniously to the floor.

      "Leave me alone!" Tears streamed down Susan's cheeks as she covered her exposed body, fumbling with her bra.

      Jeremy couldn't believe his eyes. He stood up, watching Susan pull her jeans over her hips. "Have you gone crazy?"

      Jeremy's question only further infuriated Susan.

      "Who do you think you are, Jeremy? The king of the castle? The charmed prince? Tell me - I really want to know!"

      Jeremy remained in shock. What went wrong? "Look, Susan," he said in a calmer voice, "I don't know what's happening here. I want to help you though, really I do."

      "That's a laugh," Susan yelled. "You only help yourself! If there is nothing in it for Jeremy Atkins, then it's not worth doing, right?"

      "Hold on a minute," Jeremy said, frustrated by the evening's odd turn of events. "If you're talking about what happened on the couch, don't be so critical. You were enjoying it and you know it!" Jeremy marched to the liquor cabinet and poured a stiff drink. Susan collapsed on the couch. "If you didn't want to do anything, why didn't you stop me, huh? It would've been a lot easier than this bullshit!"

      "You don't get it, do you? It wasn't the sex - it was you! I didn't want to do it with you." She pulled her head from her hands and glared at Jeremy.

      "What do you mean? Of course it was me. There's no one else in the house," Jeremy said in an amused voice, trying to lighten the tension that engulfed them.

      "I don't love you anymore, Jeremy. That's what I have been trying to tell you all night." Susan felt relieved that she'd finally got it out in the open. She was free at last. "I'm sorry."

      The emotional weight that Susan had been carrying landed squarely on Jeremy's shoulders. His hand shook as he took a mouthful of liquor. He couldn't believe what she was saying. It sounds like she’s breaking up with me. That would be social suicide! Why would she want to do that? I'm Jeremy Atkins!

      "Look, babe," he said, approaching her cautiously, "you don't know what you're saying. You might have had too much to drink. I'm sure by tomorrow you'll forget all of this."

      Susan headed to the front door. "I want to go home, Jeremy. Are you going to drive me, or do I have to walk?"

      "Hold on, Susan, we can work this out - you don't have to rush home." He coaxed her back to the couch. "If you don't tell me what's wrong, how am I supposed to know what's the matter?"

      "I told you," she said, a new round of tears welling up.

      "You said СКАЧАТЬ