For a Good Time Call.... Donald Ph.D. Ladew

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СКАЧАТЬ course not. But our success rate is very high, or we wouldn't be in business," he said.

      Well, why not? William thought to himself. "I'm sure not surviving worth crap now. I'm not happy with my lot. If it takes something as crazy as this to find a solution, what the hell, I've got nothing to lose."

      "There are several possibilities, William. It hasn't been decided which of these will be for you. We're going to send you back to Miss Annie-Brown's apartment now. It'll be a week or so before we're ready to make you an offer. I suggest you terminate all activities that would prevent you from leaving and prepare yourself for notification. If there are further questions, call Miss Annie-Brown." He sat and rubbed his small hands together in a very human gesture.

      "This has been a most enlightening evening. I look forward to seeing you again before your assignment. I have a good feeling about this, Mr. Holt-Fennimore."

      "Uh...thank you, Mr. Carson."

      The chair disappeared into the floor, the characteristic hum started up and William was banged back down to the Bellefourche Towers. Beam me down, Scotty, was his last thought.

      When William was in underwater demolition, they went on twenty mile underwater exercises, after which he was physically whipped. That's how he felt when he found himself back in Miss Annie-Brown's bedroom sitting on the cool ceramic plate.

      She was waiting with her hand held out. As he stepped over the softly pulsating tubes his knees were trembling. He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. He looked at Miss Annie-Brown closely. She looked the same—delicious. When she noticed him looking at her, she smiled gently.

      "I imagine you know this is not my true form?" she said when they got back to the couch in the sitting room.

      It was sad. "Yes, I do now. I knew you were too good to be true."

      "Mr. Holt-Fennimore, you say very poetical, sweet things. I thank you most sincerely." Her expression was utterly feminine, and he was barely able to resist the desire to touch her, if only in some small way.

      She was still wearing her belt. She reached down and pressed one of the studs. She, well...the area she occupied began to change, and there she was as he had first seen her, about five-foot seven.

      She took the belt off. It was amazing. There was no difference in her appearance except the seven inches. The same shiny black hair and lavender eyes. The same great...ah well, no use thinking about that.

      "I've always wondered if people who live on other planets would look like people from Earth, or maybe like Mr. Carson. Considering how many stars there are in the galaxy, I'm not surprised there'd be people like you and him."

      She brought over another bottle of Dom Perignon and filled two glasses. Then she giggled charmingly. "I wouldn't care if this were a planet full of Droggish-Fermed, I would forgive all for the wonderful creation of champagne."

      "Hear! Hear!" What the hell's a Droggish-Fermed? he wondered.

      "William," something in her voice got his attention immediately. "When men and women like each other on this planet, how do they...demonstrate this...affection?" she asked.

      William blushed, and she noticed it immediately.

      "I don't mean to embarrass you, William. I'm just naturally curious."

      As he learned later, like women of Earth, those from distant planets weren't always completely up-front with their intentions.

      They were sitting on the divan, and somehow she was very close. He didn't know how she managed it, but sitting there next to him she didn't seem taller. He thought the temperature control must be on the blink, it was awfully warm in there.

      "Oh, I'm not embarrassed, Miss Annie-Brown," he lied. "We have many ways. Maybe we send, I mean a man, uh...a male, would send a gift to the lady—perhaps flowers or candy, maybe a bottle of fine perfume.

      "Yes," she seemed even closer. "I have read of these rituals. I think they are very nice. We have similar customs where I come from. But tell me, if a man and woman like each other, is there some more...direct way they express this affection?" Her voice was a soft as an English duvet, and twice as inviting.

      "Ummm, yes, Miss Annie-Brown. Something tells me you already know about these customs."

      She looked at William intently. "You are right, I do know about them. Do you like me, William?" she asked.

      Jesus! he thought. What a non sequitur! What's not to like? I've got to do something about the temperature. I'm going into thermal overload.

      "Yes, I do, Miss Annie-Brown. You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

      "Good." She smiled like someone who's just received the news they been waiting for. "I like you, William. I am female."

      He groaned silently. Jesus have mercy. That was the understatement of the bloody damn century!

      "I want to experience the kissing and touching rituals, William. Will you show me how it is done?" she murmured.

      Somehow William managed not to shout Hooray! or Whoopee! But he sure as hell thought them. She was delicious beyond belief, and he thanked the creator of this particular universe for creating a race that was so like his own.

      Later, much later, she said she enjoyed the rituals and that William must be a great expert in their practice.

      He told himself that she spoke truly, and hoped it was so, because as far as he was concerned, in that very much neglected area of his life, the experience was the best.

      Chapter 3

      His apartment was like an empty cell. William spent the week getting rid of any thing he couldn't carry. Little was left except for a few changes of clothing. Time grew short.

      Every once in a while things went blank. He'd find himself wandering around in strange surroundings, with no idea how he got there. He was even talking to himself! Then he would look around embarrassed, sure that someone had seen him. They'd think he was crazy for sure. Maybe I am crazy, he thought.

      The day after that wild night at the Bellefourche Towers, William went to work as usual, however he didn't stay. He quit.

      His boss, Mr. Edson, kept asking him why he wanted to change, leave a perfectly wonderful job. William told him he had accepted employment elsewhere. Mr Edson kept demanding to know who, as though the other company had committed a crime.

      He wanted to know how much they were paying him. William couldn't very well tell him a hundred thousand credits a year plus bonuses. He concluded from the whole mess that a man ought to change jobs every couple of years just to keep from being taken for granted.

      When he pressed, William told him the job was classified, so he couldn't give him the name of the company. Can you picture it? he thought. I say, “Don't worry about it, Mr. Edson. I answered this ad on the wall of my bus stop. Then I met this gorgeous alien girl, except she looks a lot like a human girl. She took me for an interview with her boss at this space station out beyond Pluto. You'd have liked him. At first he looked like a short John L. Lewis then he changed into this alien life form, something like a badger СКАЧАТЬ