For a Good Time Call.... Donald Ph.D. Ladew

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СКАЧАТЬ What a shitty thing to ask, William thought, this guys going to ruin a perfectly good dream.

      It all came back, the boredom, the disconnection from life. A short body trapped in a six-foot world. He hadn't had a purpose since he was in the Navy, and that was a pretty rigid view of what life is supposed to be.

      "Not much, Mr..."

      "You may call me Mr. Carson. How far would you be willing to go to change your life?" he asked.

      “Christ, I feel like a character in one of those plays where the hero sells his soul to the devil”, William muttered.

      "Are you the devil by any chance?" he asked.

      Carson laughed. "I'm afraid not. May I call you William?"

      "Sure."

      "William, Miss Annie-Brown is not your good time. We could provide that experience well enough, but what about tomorrow, or next week, or next year? No, our concept of a good time is something that lasts a good deal longer than one evening."

      The little man with bushy eyebrows was very sincere. William began to sober up.

      "Look, what's going on here? Is this some kind of secret government installation? You CIA guys into those crazy drug experiments again? I told Miss Annie-Brown, I'm not stupid. I know the state of our current technology, and there's nothing like this anywhere on earth."

      Mr. Carson smiled and said nothing.

      "Exactly where am I? Is this some secret base out in the desert? You don't mind my saying so, it looks like a George Lucas movie set." In the back of his mind he knew where he was, but he couldn't confront the answer he was getting.

      "I will answer your questions, William. Your current location is approximately six million miles beyond the planet you call Pluto. This is not a secret government installation. It is a legitimate business establishment." He was very matter of fact.

      William's jaw was hanging down a foot. "Whooaa!" He was beginning to catch on. "Are you telling me, you and Miss Annie-Brown are not from Earth? I get it, you're from some sort of galactic civilization, another planet," he said sarcastically.

      "That is correct, William. Sorry, I thought you knew." He delivered his answer as though that sort of thing happened every day.

      "It may come as a surprise to you, Mr. Carson, but we, that is people from Earth, aren't doing a lot of business off-planet these days. As a matter of fact we aren't doing any business out this way at all."

      "Good, good. That means my company will have first shoot at your planet," he said.

      "That's first shot, Mr. Carson." William corrected him automatically.

      "Thank you, William. Wonderful language. Let me tell you what we do. First of all we don't go around grabbing people at random. A great deal of research goes into the selection of a client/solver. For instance, even when you have all the required physical attributes and are well within the proper intelligence profile, without a powerful desire to change your life we would not take you."

      "Okay, okay, you select carefully. It's like I told Miss Annie-Brown, I don't have any money or anything of value to exchange for this good time. I don't know how it is out in the rest of the galaxy, but I'd bet you fellows want your nickel, your pound of flesh, whatever you use for money."

      William damn well knew the way the world was. One way or the other, dues had to be paid.

      "You are partly mistaken, William. You do have something to exchange. Your time and your service. I see that our company name has been somewhat misleading. We are not a travel agency, although a being who takes our service usually gets to travel extensively. We are not vacation consultants. We are in fact a galactic employment agency with offices throughout this quadrant. We, however, provide something more than just bodies to our clients. We provide catalysts for change. We give our clients an employee who will bring new viewpoints to their problems.

      "Our clients pay very well for this service. We also collect ten percent of your first year's salary. To you we guarantee that at some point during your employment you will know that you are “having a good time”. If not, we refund your salary, and a hundred thousand credit separation fee, when and if the contract is terminated."

      William was momentarily speechless. "I'll be damned. I'll be doubled damned!" It was too weird. "I don't have any skill anyone out there, I mean out here wants."

      Mr. Carson, if that was really his name, which William doubted, touched some panels, and a screen with strange symbols appeared.

      "William, let me be the judge of that. You have more skills than you think. You are a competent technical writer. You have had good training as an engineer, with minor studies in journalism. You spent six years in the Navy as a S.E.A.L."

      William felt a kind of isolation. Culture shock or something was beginning to set in. How did Carson know all that stuff? he wondered. William had more questions than he could think straight enough to ask.

      Mr. Carson went on. "I've investigated that organization in your libraries. As warriors they are considered the finest. You were rated very resourceful by your superiors. Your military records indicate you are quick to learn new languages. Oh yes, William, you have many qualities that are highly valued out among the inhabited worlds.

      "You have personal problems, that is true. Part of our exchange is to find a position, and a client, that will give you the opportunity to resolve these difficulties. Please note that I said, give you the opportunity. We don't take a hand in the actual resolution. No personal problem was ever resolved for one sentient directly by another. A being may be shown a path, but he must go the rest of the way himself.

      "The solution to your problem lies within you. It is up to you to find it. What we do is locate a situation where the potential for change, challenge, A Good Time, exists"

      William found himself listening closely to everything Carson said. It fit his concept of problems and solutions to a tee. That he had no answer to his troubles wasn't someone else's fault.

      William had a thousand questions. "Mr. Carson, suppose I take this job you're offering, what are the conditions?"

      He smiled. It was a nice smile. "Your first contract will be for five years. For all the benefits it brings, you must finish the assignment to the complete satisfaction of the client. If the client should chose, they can terminate the contract early, without prejudice. It will be as though you fulfilled the complete term, as far as pay and bonuses go. However to fulfill the contract, the client is also aware that some time may be necessary for him to get the full benefit of your unique viewpoints. I will tell you this, William, there is potential for danger on many of these contracts. Your client has full responsibility for any medical repairs the body may require as a result of work done for the client."

      Wonderful, William thought.

      "If your body is damaged beyond re-assembly, through no fault of your own, or through negligence on the client's part, a five hundred thousand credit indemnity will be paid to anyone you designate. I want you to know this seldom happens. Our clients do business with us for the very reason that they need something new, a uniqueness of viewpoint not available from beings of their own race or other races."

      "Other races. Judas Priest! You are for real, aren't you?"

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