Give It To Me. Ana Castillo

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      11

      Pepito and his ever-willing cousin were sexting. He asked if she’d send a picture au naturel of herself and Palma cut to the chase and clicked a picture of her twat. She was about to send it when on second consideration thought it not the best representation of herself (bedazzled as her sweet va-j-j was. A former “colleague” of Ursula’s, needing the practice, had decorated Palma’s pubic area with rhinestones for free.) Palma called her lil’ cous’ on his cell; he was at work and with a customer. If I send you a picture of my pussy, would you think any less of me? she asked. Heh, he said. On the contrary, I’ll think of you a lot more.

      Abuela always told her granddaughter that men didn’t like women who gave it all away. Cell phone image transmission of one’s genitalia was not what the old woman born a century before had in mind, but Palma knew her grandmother would def have given her a wallop upside the head for it. She saved the picture and decided to wait.

      Randall’s cousin Ed wrote emails in fluent Spanish. This was extremely off-putting. White men talking to Palma Piedras in Spanish always was. Not whites in Mexico or anywhere else in the world where Spanish might be the common language for two people, but in the States where speaking to her in Spanish made her feel like a foreigner. Don Ed emailed Palma about his new calling as a Gaia-style guru and invited her to his home in Baltimore to meet his sixteen-year-old son and their dog, Chip. (He never said the dog’s name but once she named it in her head and it became real, an object potentially requiring true love and devotion she knew she wanted nothing to do with it.) It was always a positive sign when a man was prepared to invite you to where he lived. (Sometimes not so much after you saw it.) It indicated he had nothing to hide and that you were not going to be hidden from his life. She had no plans to go to Baltimore (ever).

      One night as Palma was turning in after a dreary night of translating, having finally finished the ten-page foreword, he called and serenaded her. It was on her cell phone, the number of which she had recently emailed for when he came to town. He was on his guitar and had, in fact, a superb tenor voice. He sang, “¿Cómo Fue?” It was a bolero and, like all boleros, romantic ad nauseam. In the song the crooner (don Ed) asked how it was that he fell in love with the person he was singing to (her?). Maybe she was tired and without the usual armored response but Palma dripped an Aw, how sweet. After that he started calling every night after midnight. At first it was enjoyable to hear a human voice after hours concentrating on her work, and when he called really late and caught her sleeping, the chats even felt sexy. They didn’t do any kind of sex talk but it was like the old days, when hearing a lover or would-be lover’s drowsy voice at the other end, miles away, was by itself a mood enhancer.

      Finally came the day of don Ed’s arrival in Albuquerque. Palma asked him to meet at a franchise that opened up in the ever-growing business side of town. He didn’t seem happy about it. Not a fan of the American-invented, Pan-Asian cuisine? Could he smell the pricey menu or the fake froufrou ambience all the way over to his room at the Sheraton in Old Town? Or maybe, don Ed preferred to dine at a green-or-red-chili-enchilada diner? All of the above, as it turned out.

      When Palma Piedras walked in, dressed in a little black crepe number to play it safe, she was still willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Holy Moby Dick, she thought at first glance. Obviously the photo attachment he sent was a lot more hair and a lot less weight back in time. (It explained the Destiny Child’s tour T-shirt.) Not losing what she hoped was an effervescent smile, she approached the age-appropriate date and held out her hand. He somehow freed himself from the stool his derriere had crushed, and as the host led the way to a table, Palma kept just ahead of don Ed, feeling a little like Jonah before the big swallow. They got through the meal with a lot less to say than on the phone or email but for reasons she couldn’t explain at the moment, Palma was unable to bring herself to end the date, go home, get into pjs, get out the Haagen-Dazs, and call Randall to tell him where he could shove his big-ass cousin. Instead, as if a ventriloquist had his hand up her back to move her mouth, she heard herself suggest they step into the restaurant’s humidor room. Don Ed considered the thought and then said, Okay, we could do that.

      A combination musk-sage smell filled the air and they found a couple of cushiony seats. Someone came right over to offer cigars out of a large, cedar-lined box. To her surprise (then, but not in retrospect), don Ed, who didn’t smoke, picked out the biggest one. The waiter helped him get the small bonfire going while she sat, back straight, ankles crossed with a stiff pageant smile, looking like a housewife turned escort. Don Ed was pulling hard on the cigar like he was giving it a blow job when he stopped and asked, Do you know how I came to be called a “don?”

      Randall СКАЧАТЬ