Big Fit Girl. Louise Green

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      IN THE SOCIAL media era, we all have a platform to share our views. Jes Baker became a well-known body-positive advocate when she rebutted Abercrombie & Fitch’s CEO, Mike Jeffries, who had publicly stated that his company only makes clothes for smaller women (as he called them, “cool kids”); they intentionally do not sell larger sizes. Baker, a plus-size woman, took striking photos of herself posing with a conventionally hot male model and used them to create the “Attractive & Fat” campaign, which played on the branding and typography used in Abercrombie & Fitch’s advertising. This campaign landed Baker on the Today show, and her story was covered by most international media outlets. Baker is proof that if no one is doing it for you, you can definitely make a statement on your own terms.

       FIND SUPPORTIVE HEALTH AND FITNESS ENVIRONMENTS

      FINDING YOUR FIT in fitness is an important component of your continued success. Look for gyms, leaders, and trainers who support body-positive training, and who are not hyper-focused on weight loss. In my own experience, the people who believed in my goals without casting judgment or asking me to change my body became essential to my journey. These types of people and environments are usually behind the doors of gyms that represent you and me. Look for gyms that embody who you are in their marketing. Ask yourself these questions: Does their website show a range of sizes, ages, and ethnicities? Are they giving you the unspoken invitation to join the gym in their marketing by demonstrating that their services are for you? Gyms that do represent you have carefully thought this through and have emphasized inclusiveness in their messaging. This communicates a lot before you’ve even walked in the door. This gym is ready for you.

       PARTICIPATE IN ATHLETICS IN YOUR COMMUNITY

      I KNOW HOW hard it is, at first, to show up for the race or the dance class. But when you do, you represent size diversity and send an important message to the others present. Many people have never seen people with larger bodies kicking ass in athletics. Your appearance tells a new story that is revolutionary. You will feel empowered, and others will be encouraged.

      Recently I spoke to a large group of plus-size women on the topic of athleticism at every size. When I brought up the subject of participation and how representing size diversity can influence others to join in, a woman proudly put her hand up and told me that a while ago she very reluctantly started dance classes. She was doing the type of dance that you see on Dancing with the Stars and was getting quite good at it. That soon progressed into local competitions; all the while she was having a ball doing it (no pun intended). She said someone would often approach her after the competition and tell her how much she had inspired them to get active. Seeing is believing in yourself, and until we see bigger bodies in fitness media and advertising, it really is up to you and me to spread the word and be the change.

       CREATE A SPACE OF NO NEGATIVE BODY TALK

      WOMEN OFTEN DEFLECT compliments by saying something negative about themselves. I have been guilty of this too. Someone might say, “Your hair looks great today,” and often my reaction would be something like, “Really? I haven’t washed it or styled it in two days.” Turning a positive comment into something negative was habitual for me until I became more self-aware.

      The pursuit of perfection is so ingrained in us that we say things about ourselves that we would never say to another woman. When people compliment you, accept the compliment with a smile. When negative thoughts enter your mind, push them out with something positive. With love and kindness, call others out on their own negative self-talk. An example might be when a friend says “I look terrible today,” to respond by saying, “No you don’t. We can’t always look amazing and we are more than our looks. Words really matter, so be kind to yourself!” Avoid gossiping about others, too. Often our criticism of others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Women need to support each other more and champion what makes each of us unique. Start doing this today, in all areas of your life.

      Here is the strategy that helped me change my thought patterns. Have you ever been in a department store to return an item and observed the cashier calling over the manager to override the transaction? I want you to be the manager of your mind. I want you to override your negative self-talk. Have you heard the saying, “Fake it till you make it”? You might have to fake it at first. As soon as a negative thought comes into your mind, like “Man, I look fat in these shorts, why did I leave the house looking like this”—that is when you call in the manager for an override.

      When you override, you deflect and retort with something more positive. “These shorts are great and show off my strong legs” is an example, but say whatever feels authentically positive about yourself. Over time you’ll train your brain and the override will be needed less and less until your thinking is mostly positive. It takes time, but it works. Take control; you are your mind’s manager.

       REJECT WEIGHT-LOSS CULTURE AND PERFECTIONISM

      WE NEED TO quit trying to attain what society deems the perfect body and instead create our own ideals based on what feels good to us. All bodies are good bodies, and most of us just don’t have the same genetics as the models we see in magazines. In fact, only a very small number of women do. We need to embrace and celebrate who we are, as we are.

      Melissa A. Fabello speaks to this beautifully: “I think that perfectionism is dangerous—and I say this as a recovering perfectionist! I think that we’ve created an environment in which we expect ‘the best’ from people, but we define what is ‘best’ for them. We don’t allow people to be their happiest, healthiest selves. Instead, we impose a one-size-fits-all cultural standard of ‘ideal’ on them, and we reinforce that by celebrating those who reach it and denigrating those who can’t.”

       RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN AND OUR COLLECTIVE POWER

      ALICE WALKER, AUTHOR of The Color Purple, eloquently describes the potential power of a collective group: “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

      We do have the power to create change. We have the power to stand up and say that women of size can be athletes, leaders, and advocates. We can love our bodies and be valued women, regardless of our size. We are worthy.

      When we demand that publications, companies, and advertisers reflect our ideals in their messages, they will do so. After all, these businesses are driven by the market; they give us what we want! Let’s want something that benefits us. Because magazine editors now know that there’s a substantial audience that, until recently, has been ignored, we’re beginning to see plus-size women becoming cover girls. The fashion industry can no longer overlook the buying power of millions of plus-size women and have started to step up and deliver larger sizes at many mainstream retailers.

      Awareness gives us the power to change and the ability to kick open the door to living limitlessly. And together, through efforts large and small, we can shatter stereotypes and change the world.

       TAKE THE BODY POSITIVE PLEDGE

      TAKING THE BODY positive pledge is a great way to commit to your new way of thinking. It takes time to unlearn everything that you have learned, so let’s get started now. We are bombarded by images and messages telling us that we don’t belong. We must stop believing this and fight to be respected and included as we are. Let’s make it official:

       I promise to love and respect my body every day. I recognize that not every moment will include body love, but I am committed to changing my thought patterns and inviting body love and self-acceptance into my life.

       Through this process I vow СКАЧАТЬ