Beyond the Storm. Diana Finley

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СКАЧАТЬ the family’s maid. Even at four, Anna senses the deep humiliation of defeat in being fed by British soldiers.

      Worse than the deprivations, Matilde contracts the Spanish flu sweeping Europe. The virulent infection kills many neighbours. Matilde becomes very ill and develops encephalitis. She is not expected to survive, but somehow she does. The infection has destroyed vital areas of her brain. At thirty-four she is left with a form of Parkinson’s disease. Year by year it deprives her of more abilities and strength, until she becomes bedridden, her body and limbs possessed by trembling, her speech a high monotone.

      Life in the once fine apartment on Mariahilferstrasse centres on Matilde. She had been the mainstay of both the business and the family: shrewd with money, clever at stretching small amounts of food, and efficient at paperwork. Artur’s priority is to fulfil his wife’s needs as best he can. The children must not make noise. They cannot invite their friends home to play. Matilde must be kept comfortable and serene. Every evening Artur spends time with her after returning from work. He sits on her bed holding her hand and reports on the day’s events, and Matilde makes suggestions regarding the business.

      Gradually Artur rebuilds the firm. Less educated than his wife, nevertheless he has a way with people. Naturally charming, he is popular with both men and women, and is a successful salesman. The staff are loyal; they remember Artur and Matilde’s support during the hard years. Slowly the business becomes profitable again.

      Anna and her sisters live contented, protected lives. As their mother’s health deteriorates, it is Kaethe who plays a central role in caring for and nurturing the children. Although Esther, Anna and Margaret would love to have a more active mother, who can play and read with them like many of their friends’ mothers, Kaethe surrounds them with love and affection. For a few years their lives are relatively carefree. They attend a mixed private school, the majority of whose pupils come from homes as comfortable as theirs. The girls walk to school arm in arm with their friends, thinking only of fun and friendships. Lotte, Leila, Gretchen, Magdelene, Wilma, Sara and Monika – all are indistinguishable from one another.

      The girls light candles for Hanukkah and then clip them onto the fir tree, to be lit on Christmas Eve. They wish each other a happy new year for the first of January, and again for Rosh Hashanah. Other than these enjoyable events, they are scarcely aware of who is Christian, who is Jewish. Artur is a pragmatic rather than a devout man. He rarely goes to temple, and then only to meet a business associate. Viennese society is not without its divisions, but these relate largely to identifying those who live in a less smart neighbourhood, or who are less well dressed, less well spoken, less witty.

      Anna is pretty, petite, with black curls and dark eyes. She is hard working and diligent at school, her marks always in the top three of her class. She is equally good at sports: skiing, skating, swimming, basketball and gymnastics. She is regarded as sweet-natured and kind by the other girls, and polite by her teachers. Despite these many attributes, Anna is not priggish or conceited. She has a quick temper and a wicked sense of humour, which endears her to her friends. Despite her popularity, Anna has a more troubled side to her temperament. Perhaps the household’s preoccupation with her mother’s needs and illness induces in the growing child a tendency to occasional bouts of melancholic contemplation. From an early age, she keeps a diary in which she records ‘days of sad thoughts’.

      One day as they walk to the bakery together to buy the morning rolls, Anna, at the age of eight or nine years, astounds the down-to-earth Kaethe.

      ‘Kaethe, why am I inside this person looking out?’

      ‘Inside? Inside who? What are you talking about, child?’

      ‘I mean, why am I me? I could have been anyone. Why was I born inside this body and not someone else’s?’

      ‘Well, now you’re asking! That’s not a question for poor Kaethe, but for God. And it’s not something a little girl like you needs to worry about.’

      ‘But I do worry about it! Sometimes I think how easily I could have been Laura or Sara, or a Hottentot living in the desert or an Eskimo girl in an igloo, or even … a … a boy!’ Kaethe stops walking and puts an arm around Anna’s shoulders.

      ‘Oh my goodness! Oh dear me, a Hottentot? I think I like you just the way you are, Liebchen – and Mamma and Papa don’t want a different little girl, they want you! Just be happy with who you are. There’s no need to brood so much.’

      Anna sighs. If only Kaethe would understand that it’s not that she wants to be a different person, it’s just that these questions are troubling. However, in the family, such a quest for answers is regarded as self-absorption, which is not to be encouraged. Despite these concerns, in the main Anna’s childhood is as her parents would wish: contented and cheerful.

      Over time her life begins to change, gradually at first, almost imperceptibly, but then with increasing momentum. Every day, her best friend Laura calls at Mariahilferstrasse, and they walk to school together giggling and whispering. One morning, when Anna is fifteen, Laura does not ring the bell. What can have happened? Anna worries that perhaps Laura is unwell. She is reluctant to leave without her. But it is already late, and Kaethe shoos her out of the apartment with her school bag and her morning snack. Anna walks alone to school. She drags her feet; walking on her own is no fun. In front of the school, clusters of pupils are talking together. There is Laura in the midst of a group of girls. She glances at Anna self-consciously. Anna smiles and waves at her friend.

      ‘Laura, what happened? Did you forget this morning?’

      Laura looks uncomfortable. She looks round at her friends and back to Anna. Then she purses her lips and pulls herself upright.

      ‘Mutti says we don’t mix with Jews.’ She turns her back on Anna. The other girls snigger and turn away too.

      Many of the girls join National Socialist youth groups. They troop off on hiking and camping trips in the Vienna Woods or into the mountains, rucksacks on their backs. They cook over open fires and sing songs in the evening. These trips seem such fun. Anna loves swimming and hiking and singing. She yearns to go too, but she and her remaining friends are not invited. In class it becomes noticeable that top marks are never given to Jewish pupils any more. Now Anna’s results are never awarded more than ‘average’.

      ‘You must continue to work hard and achieve the best you can, whatever the results,’ Matilde urges the girls. ‘We know how clever you are.’

      Anna tries hard to concentrate on her schoolwork as before, but it is not always easy to feel the same motivation. Things do not improve as she progresses through school. The new intake of pupils is now entirely Christian. Soon after she matriculates, the teachers in her school let it be known that they are no longer prepared to teach any Jewish pupils. University courses and many professions are similarly out of bounds.

      ‘We have to hope this is a temporary situation,’ Anna’s father says, but he seems unconvinced.

      Anna begins working as a nanny and governess, first for a number of families needing short-term support. Eventually she obtains permanent work for a wealthy Jewish family with two children. She is fond of the children, a boy of nine and a girl of six, and feels any experience will help her in the future. The children’s mother, Karin, is pleased to have intelligent adult company. Her family lives in Budapest, and she rarely sees them. Life can be lonely for Karin at times, especially when her husband, Otto, is away on business trips. Otto runs the family business, dealing in wood products and machinery. He often has to travel to other cities, and sometimes to other countries. Karin enjoys accompanying Anna and the children on visits to the park, or trips to the hills to pick berries and mushrooms. The two young women soon become СКАЧАТЬ