The Little Book of Otter Philosophy. Jennifer McCartney

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СКАЧАТЬ Robert Waldman, the authors found that both speaking and hearing positive words could increase cognitive reasoning, strengthen our frontal lobes and motivate us to repeat the behaviour that inspired the affirmative words. So next time you’re feeling praise-y, don’t forget to let your friend or partner know. That cup of tea you made was so great! I had so much fun on the water slide today! I appreciate the advice you gave me about how I need to pluck my chin hairs once in a while! You know, nice things like that. And if you’re texting, don’t forget the exclamation mark. In a study in 2016, psychologist Danielle Gunraj found that texts punctuated with a full stop were perceived as being insincere. And, conversely, linguists have found that multiple exclamation marks convey honesty.

      Otter Fact: While many otter species are polygamous, some river otters mate for life. Asian small-clawed otters pick just one partner and stick with them forever.

How do otters make a long-term relationship work? We can’t ask them directly, but it’s safe to assume it involves a lot of fun and games. According to psychiatrist Dr Stuart Brown, head of the National Institute for Play, a light-hearted approach to intimacy can help a partnership stay healthy. ‘The couples who sustain a sense of mutual playfulness with each other tend to work out the wrinkles in their relationships much better than those who are really serious,’ he says in an interview with NPR in the States. And a sense of humour is important, too. According to research done by human development and family studies professor Brian Ogolsky at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, couples who use humour to defuse situations are more likely to stay together than those who don’t. It isn’t about being funny, though, he notes. It’s about how we use humour in times of stress – turning a potentially negative interaction into a positive one.

Finally, what seems to be obvious is supported by science: doing fun activities with a loved one can be beneficial to the relationship. A study entitled ‘Compatibility, Leisure and Satisfaction in Marital Relationships’ found that a relationship benefited from shared leisure time as long as both partners enjoyed the activity. (That means if one person isn’t into it,† the whole relationship actually suffers.) So find your compatible interests, and make time for them: suntanning, hitting up the art gallery, playing darts, going to the movies, saving the elephants,‡ whatever you want, as long as you both enjoy it.

      ‘In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.’

      Khalil Gibran

      Otter Fact: Otters wrap themselves in kelp to help anchor themselves while they nap.

We once saw a bunch of very sunburned people floating in inner tubes down the Bow River which runs through downtown Calgary, Canada. There were about 20 in the group, each one’s tube linked to the next, and all holding a can of Budweiser, except for the few who appeared to be napping. Styrofoam containers with more beer floated behind them, also tethered by ropes. Bathrooms? Not important. Mobiles? Nope. Sunblock? Didn’t look like it. All we heard was laughter, conversation and the pleasant hum of the river as it washed them downstream – a magic web of drunk friendship. This kind of dedication to both nap and playtime, drinking and friendship, is definitely something to strive for. How can you up your nap game? A weighted blanket? A drop of melatonin? A hammock? A body pillow? What about your friendships? Time for a bit of axe-throwing? Canoeing? A simple pub crawl? Whatever you decide, I wish for you the kind of joy that comes from being drunk in a river in an inner-tube convoy with your best mates. That’s the stuff friendships are made of.

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