The Little Book of Otter Philosophy. Jennifer McCartney

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      B. Piña colada by the pool. Check your work email a bit later when you’re drunk.

      C. Your life is a non-stop vacation. That’s what you like to call unemployment.

      When it comes to playtime you prefer:

      A. jumping out of aeroplanes with a parachute or off a cliff with a bungee cord

      B. adult colouring books – do they count as play? Your therapist recommended them …

      C. a game you can play on your phone while lying down.

Answers

      Mostly As: otter to the max. You’re a very high-octane otter bordering on becoming a hummingbird. Don’t forget that life doesn’t have to be scheduled or even death-defying. Playing a board game can be just as rewarding as free soloing up a cliff face. So take a page from the otter playbook, and chill.

      Mostly Bs: livin’ life like you otter. You’re dedicated to work, play and whatever you set your mind to, but you’re also aware we’re all going to die soon, and nothing is that important. A nice, balanced attitude towards being alive.

      Mostly Cs: stoned otter. You’re so laid-back you’re almost a sloth. But you’ve also got some great otter characteristics – ingenuity, a love of taking it easy and a sense of humour. Keep up the good work, but don’t forget otters sometimes have to work hard to play hard.

      * Unless you’re very drunk and you spot a murder in progress from the train window. Best to just leave that alone.

      † Ice lollies were invented by accident, apparently, when 11-year-old Frank Epperson left his drink and stir stick on his porch overnight, back in 1905; in the morning, he had a frozen treat with a built-in handle. ‘Frozen ice on a stick’ was born. And this is what curiosity gets you: fun facts to discuss at your next cocktail party …

Part Two

Love and Friendship

      ‘The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.’

      Mark Twain

      ‘Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.’

      Martin Luther King, Jr

Otter Fact: Otters like to strike up friendships with other species. These unlikely alliances include cats, goats, dogs and, in some cases, people. One otter in Finland has been visiting his human friend for food and companionship since 2011. Another, named Pip, likes to play tag with his owner’s pet cat, Sam.

In a world that can often seem politically divided, lonely and just plain cruel, the otter is a reminder that it’s possible (and beneficial) to have friendships with people who are different from ourselves. It can be tough sometimes, though – a 2016 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that we’re hard-wired to choose like-minded friends and partners. We prefer having a comfortable social circle where everyone can relax and take it easy. This is great – until it isn’t. Researchers warn that this quest for similarity can result in a lack of exposure to new ideas and perspectives: ‘If you hang out only with people who are loony like you, you can be out of touch with the big, beautiful diverse world,’ says Chris Crandall, professor of psychology at Kansas University. So, get out of your comfort zone in order to broaden your worldview. Challenge yourself to chat with people a bit different from yourself. Do they speak another language? Are they very into fitness or meat pies or Brexit? Who knows, it may be the start of a beautiful friendship.

      Otter Fact: Otters hold hands while they’re sleeping. It’s technically to keep themselves from drifting away. Who wants to wake up alone in the open ocean? Not otters. And perhaps it also makes them feel nice. Watching them hold hands certainly feels nice, anyway.

Giving and receiving little forms of physical affection is one of a relationship’s great joys. Whether it’s entangled legs on a couch with your best friend, or a rub of the shoulders on a crowded train from a partner, or a deep, loving hug from a parent or grandparent, these expressions of affection are what make life worthwhile. And they keep us healthier, too. According to Professor Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine, touch ‘leads to a chain of bioelectric and chemical changes that basically relax the nervous system’. That means a simple touch actually releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin and lowers levels of the primary stress hormone, cortisol. So something as simple as holding hands can lower blood pressure, reduce stress and calm the heart rate. The effects are lasting, too. Studies show the mental benefits of physical affection last until the following day: a hug today can put us in a better mood tomorrow. So, make like an otter and show someone how much you care. A furry friend. A bestie. A mum or dad. A stuffed animal. Whatever! Give someone you love a hug.*

‘I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I get that day over and over and over?’

      Bill Murray

      Otter Fact: Otters are an extremely chatty bunch. They have nine distinct vocalisations they use to communicate – they are: whistles, chirps, chuckles, clicks, coos, whines, snarls, screams and growls.

It should be evident that communication is the key to any successful relationship. Luckily, we have the ability to communicate with our loved ones instantaneously, 24 hours a day, via texting, video chats, email and direct messaging. There’s also old-fashioned phone calls and, of course, we even see each other in person occasionally, too. So why does it feel so tough, sometimes? Why do we feel distant from our loved ones, or misunderstood, ignored or unfulfilled? Just like everything else in life, good communication takes practice.

      According to Dr Michelle Rosser-Majors, a professor of psychology at Ashford University: ‘As human beings, we aspire to feel competent, valued and appreciated. Positive words have this type of power, creating the solid foundations needed to build strong, productive relationships that resonate clear lines of communications.’ So – this may sound blindingly obvious, but part of successful communication is saying nice things to people you care about once in a while. One way to do this is to use ‘words of affirmation’, according to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. This means offering kind, encouraging words as often as possible СКАЧАТЬ