Mister B. Gone. Clive Barker

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СКАЧАТЬ do to the kids who humiliated me, or to Pappy Gatmuss [I had some fine ideas about how I would make him regret his brutalities], then the anger would not sting so much. As I got older and the girls I liked threw stones at me just like their brothers had only a few years before, I’d go back home and spend half the night writing about how I’d have my revenge one day. I filled page after page after page with all my plans and plots, until there were so many of them that I could barely fit them into my hidey-hole under the floorboard.

      I should have thought of another place, a bigger place, to keep them safe, but I’d been using the same hole for so long I didn’t worry about it. Stupid, stupid! One day I get home from school and race upstairs only to find that all my secrets, my Pages of Vengeance, had been unearthed. They were heaped up in the middle of the room. I’d never risked taking them all out of their hiding place together, so this was the first time I’d seen all of them at once. There were so many of them. Hundreds. For a minute I was amazed, proud even, that I’d written so much.

      Then my mother comes in, with such a look of fury on her face I knew I was going to get the beating of my life for this.

      “You are a selfish, vicious, horrible creature,” she said to me. “And I wish you’d never been born.”

      I tried to lie.

      “It’s just a story I’m writing,” I told her. “I know there are real names in it right now, but they were only there until I could find something better.”

      “I take it back,” my mother said, and for a second I thought what I’d said had worked. But no. “You’re a lying, selfish, vicious, horrible creature.” She took a big metal spoon from behind her back. “I’m going to beat you so hard you will never——never, do you hear me?——waste your time inventing cruelties again!”

      Her words brought another lie to mind. I thought: I’ll try it, why not? She’s going to beat me anyhow so what’s to lose? I said to her:

      “I know what I am, Momma. I’m one of the Demonation. Maybe just a little one, but I’m still a Demon. Well? Aren’t I?”

      She didn’t answer. So I went on. “And I thought we were supposed to be selfish and vicious and whatever else you said I was. I hear other kids talking about it all the time. The terrible things they’re going to do when they get out of school. The weapons they’re going to invent, and sell to Humankind. And the execution machines. That’s what I’d really like to do. I’d like to create the best execution machine that was ever——”

      I stopped. Momma had a puzzled look on her face.

      “What’s wrong?”

      “I’m just wondering how long I’m going to let you go on talking nonsense before I slap some sense into you. Execution machines! You don’t have the brains to make any such thing! And take the ends of your tails out of your mouth. You’ll prick your tongue.”

      I took the tail tips, which I always chewed on when I was nervous, out from between my teeth, all the while trying to remember what I’d overheard other Demon kids saying about the art of killing people. “I’m going to invent the first mechanical disemboweler,” I said.

      My mother’s eyes grew wide, more I think from the shock of hearing me speak such long words than from the notion itself.

      “It’s going to have a huge wheel to unwind the condemned man’s guts. And I’m going to sell it to all the most fancy, civilized kings and princes of Europe. And you know what else?”

      My mother’s expression didn’t alter. Not a flicker of her eye, or a twitch of her mouth. She just said, in a monotone: “I’m listening.”

      “Yes! That’s right! Listening!”

      “What?”

      “People who pay for a good seat at an execution deserve to hear something better than a man screaming as he’s disemboweled. They need music!”

      “Music.”

      “Yes, music!” I said. I was completely besotted by the sound of my own voice now, not even certain what the next word out of my mouth was going to be, just trusting the inspiration of the moment. “Inside the great wheel there’ll be another machine that will play some pretty tunes to please the ladies, and the louder the man’s screams become the louder the music will play.”

      She still looked at me without so much as a twitch. “You’ve really thought about this?”

      “Yes.”

      “And these writings of yours?”

      “I was just noting down all the horrible thoughts in my head. For inspiration.”

      My Momma studied me for what seemed like hours, searching every inch of my face as though she knew the word LIAR was written there somewhere. But finally, her scrutiny ceased and she said:

      “You are a strange one, Jakabok.”

      “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked her.

      “It depends on whether you like strange children,” she replied.

      “Do you?”

      “No.”

      “Oh.”

      “But I gave birth to you, so I suppose I have to take some of the responsibility.”

      It was the sweetest thing she’d ever said. I might have shed a tear if I’d time, but she had orders for me.

      “Take all these scrawlings of yours down to the bottom of the yard and burn them.”

      “I can’t do that.”

      “You can and you will!”

      “But I’ve been writing them for years.”

      “And they’ll all burn up in two minutes, which should teach you something about this World, Jakabok.”

      “Like what?” I said, with a sour look on my face.

      “That it’s a place where whatever you work for and care about is bound to be taken away from you sooner or later, and there isn’t a thing you can do about it.” For the first time since this interrogation had begun, she took her eyes off me. “I was beautiful once,” she said. “I know you can’t imagine that now, but I was. And then I married your father, and everything that was beautiful about me and the things that were all around me went up in smoke.” There was a long silence. Then her eyes slowly slid back in my direction. “Just like your pages will.”

      I knew there was nothing I could say to her that would persuade her to let me keep my treasures. And I also knew that it was approaching the time that Pappy G. would be coming back from the Furnaces and that my situation would be a lot worse if he picked up any of my Revenge Stories, because all the most terrible things I’d invented I’d saved for him.

      So I started to throw my beautiful precious pages into a large sack my mother had already laid beside them for this very purpose. Every now and then I would catch sight of a phrase I’d written, and with one glance I would instantly remember the circumstances which had caused СКАЧАТЬ