Meet Me at Willow Hall: A perfectly charming romance for 2019!. Carla Burgess

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СКАЧАТЬ waved back. Even at this distance, his eyes seemed to rest on mine. Goose bumps sprang up on my arms and the blood fizzed in my veins.

      ‘I can’t believe how beautiful Willow Hall is,’ Elena said as we drove out of the car park and down the drive. ‘Ohhhh, I’d love to get married there.’

      ‘Do you think Daniel would go for it, though?’ I said, doubtfully. ‘I mean, you’ve got everything organised already. Wouldn’t it be stressful to change everything?’

      Elena shrugged. ‘I don’t think it would be a huge problem in terms of organising everything, but I’ll have to discuss it with Daniel and our parents. How do you feel about it? Would you mind if I got married there?’

      ‘I don’t mind at all. Why should I? You know I’ll be there, whatever, and we’ll sort getting the flowers here somehow. It shouldn’t be a problem.’

      ‘Yes, but what about the Anthony situation?’

      ‘What about it? I’ve seen him now. The worst part is over.’ I looked out of the window, trying to pretend I was unaffected by the afternoon.

      ‘How did you feel seeing him again? I mean, I know it was a shock when you first saw him, but how did you feel walking round the house with him? Did it feel awkward?’

      ‘Errr… well… Not awkward, exactly. It was more surreal than anything else.’

      ‘I kept thinking maybe I should tell him off for treating you so badly, but he was so pleasant today it was hard to summon up any negative feelings towards him at all. Especially with Julian there too.’

      ‘Of course.’ I shrugged. ‘It wasn’t like he treated me badly when we were together. I was just hurt when he didn’t want to be with me any more, but that’s his right. And like you say, he was perfectly polite and civil today. It wouldn’t have been right to be rude to him. I mean, a whole year has passed since then. What’s done is done. There’s no point dwelling on the past, is there?’

      ‘No, of course not. Especially as you’re engaged now.’ She looked over at me with a sly smile. I rolled my eyes at her.

      ‘I wish you hadn’t said that, Elena,’ I said indignantly. ‘Or rather, I wish I hadn’t gone along with it! I feel bad for lying. Especially about Bobbi’s boyfriend.’

      Elena laughed wickedly. ‘Don’t be daft. He’s never going to know, is he?’

      It was like a slap. The thought of Anthony never finding out I wasn’t engaged depressed me immeasurably, but Elena was right; he probably never would know I’d lied. ‘Oh. Well, I suppose not.’ I stared out of the window at the passing fields, my throat aching with the effort of not crying.

      ‘What?’ Elena looked across at me in surprise. ‘What’s wrong? Have I upset you?’

      ‘No!’

      ‘What then? Surely you want him to think you’ve moved on and are happy with someone else? You don’t want him to think you’re pining for him, do you?’

      ‘Of course not, but… I don’t know. I suppose the fact that he won’t ever find out means I won’t see him again. It just underlines the fact that I’m not part of his life and he’s not part of mine.’

      Elena blinked at me before looking back at the road. ‘But he hasn’t been part of your life for the past year.’

      I sniffed and rummaged in my bag for a tissue. ‘I know. I’m just being silly. Ignore me.’

      ‘Do you still have feelings for Anthony?’

      ‘Of course I still have feelings for Anthony. Wasn’t it blatantly obvious?’

      ‘Oh, Rachel, not at all! You held it together beautifully.’

      ‘Really? I was a bag of nerves.’

      ‘Well, it didn’t show. You were composed and gracious. The perfect lady, in fact. He’s mad to have finished with you. I bet he realised that too. I bet he’s kicking himself right now, if he wasn’t already. What was he talking to you about on the way to the stable yard?’

      ‘Nothing much. He just apologised for being so shocked when he first saw me, that’s all.’

      Elena laughed. ‘It must have been a surprise. Especially with you in a bridal gown.’

      ‘I know.’ I smiled and played with my tissue, stretching the fragile soft paper over my fingertip.

      ‘So, would it make it better or worse if we moved the wedding to Willow Hall?’

      ‘Either is fine. Honestly, it makes no difference either way. It’s over. I know it’s over and I just need to get over him. Who knows, maybe it will be easier now I’ve seen him. I know where he is, I know what he’s doing, I know that he’s well…’

      Elena laughed. ‘That sounds like a line from some stalker thriller… I know where he is…’

      ‘You know what I mean,’ I chuckled. ‘He’s doing okay. I just need to move on and leave him behind.’

      Elena nodded but didn’t look convinced. I wasn’t convinced myself. The further we got from Willow Hall, the more I wanted to go back. The hollow feeling in my stomach seemed to grow and grow until I felt sick. Everything felt wrong and out of place and, beneath it all, I had a renewed conviction that I really did belong with Anthony.

      The problem was, he thought he didn’t belong with me.

       Anthony,

       I came to the hospital today but they wouldn’t let me see you. Do you know how humiliating it is to be turned away from a hospital ward when you’ve driven an hour to get there? I know what you said in your letter, but I couldn’t believe it was true. I have no words to express how hurt and angry I am right now. I needed to see you, Anthony, because I love you and I want to know you’re all right. I want to be there for you, to support you during your recovery. You must know you need as much support as possible at this time. Why would you push me away when you know I want to be with you? I can’t stand the thought of you lying in that hospital bed, so many miles away from me. I would stay with you every minute of every day if I could. I can’t stand not seeing you and not knowing what’s going on.

       Please, I’m begging you, don’t shut me out. I need you and I know you need me too.

       I love you.

       Rachel

       Chapter Three

      We never said I love you, Anthony and I. The only time I said it was in that final letter to him and I’d regretted it ever since. Maybe if I hadn’t told him that, maybe if I hadn’t sounded so desperate, then maybe he would have replied with more than just a curt: it’s over.

      Maybe.

      But why shouldn’t I have said it? It was true. I was in love with СКАЧАТЬ