Marriage Is Just The Beginning. Betty Sanders Jane

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СКАЧАТЬ neck, buried her face in her shoulder and sobbed.

      “Goodbye,” Sharon murmured, and held Cassie’s trembling body as Grant strode out to the plane. She cajoled Cassie into watching as the plane lumbered across the runway, to turn and race forward, before finally climbing into the sky with a great roar. Cassie’s sobs quit, her tears drying on her cheeks.

      “Shall we go home and see what Brittany is doing? Sharon asked.

      Cassie nodded, then wiggled to be released. She slipped a small hand into Sharon’s hand. A hand that gripped Sharon’s heart, as well.

       And there’s no one I trust my daughter with more than you.

      Warmth washed through her, as she remembered Grant’s husky words. His trust, his friendship, was as precious a gift as Cassie’s love.

      She glanced down at the top of Cassie’s head, at the slightly crooked part in the shiny black hair and the butterfly-shaped barrette at the top of each braid, and her heart swelled. She loved Cassie so much it sometimes frightened her. What was she going to do when Grant did remarry one day? And she had little doubt that eventually he would. A man with his looks, his resources. It wouldn’t…hadn’t taken long for women to notice. It was only a matter of time until Grant reciprocated the interest.

      Would a new wife welcome or allow their friendship to continue? Would there be room for her in their lives?

      She doubted it. And the thought of not having Cassie and Grant as part of her life was almost too painful to bear.

      

      Grant met with an attorney while in Anchorage. The attorney confirmed that although there was always a chance he could lose Cassie, it was highly unlikely. At most, this challenge to his custody of Cassie would probably be an expensive inconvenience, something to worry at him like a splinter. With time it would go away. He advised Grant to talk to Hugh and Dorothy and come up with some way to set their minds at ease and avoid an unnecessary legal battle.

      Hell, if he could do that, there wouldn’t be a problem.

      A knot of tension tied itself permanently in his gut He snapped at his secretary, apologized, then snapped again. He made a list of his options, crossed things off, added them again, only to cross them off once more. Sitters. Nannies. A wife.

      Sitters, not permanent. Nannies, unavailable in Valdez, and not permanent. And even if he found one in Anchorage, how long would she be happy living in Valdez, isolated by surrounding wilderness and sea?

      He toyed with the idea of taking Sharon up on her offer, of hiring her to watch Cassie in the evenings while he was away. But…not only was that unfair to Sharon, it was not a permanent solution. Sharon had her own life to live, and one day she would marry and want a family of her own, and where would that leave them? Generous though her offer was, he could not accept it on a long-term basis.

      The last option was a wife.

      But he simply did not have the emotional resources to deal with a wife. The very thought sent chills along his spine.

      The next day a letter from an attorney came express mail, an official demand for custody of Cassie from his in-laws. Grant opened the letter late evening, after Cassie was in bed.

      Anger rose in him as he read, then fear. Even the tiniest of chances that he could lose Cassie overwhelmed him. And the sense of betrayal, of attack, from people he loved was incredibly painful. As well, he did not want to alienate Hugh and Dorothy, because Cassie loved her grandparents and they her. They had all suffered a tremendous loss and didn’t need to lose one another, as well.

      A whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions spun in his head. Like a vortex of vibrant colors that did nothing more than whirl and spin and slam up against black solid walls of no answers.

      The room seemed to shrink. He was suffocating. Choking. He fought the feeling, resisted it with every fiber of his being, until he finally had to rush through the house to the deck. Bitter cold greeted him; frozen fingers of winter gripped his bare skin. Biting, burning his lungs as he drew deep breaths to steady himself. He felt unable to ease the feeling of impending doom.

      The phone rang, jerking him back into the house. Grant stiffened at the sound of Hugh’s voice, and he fought the urge either to slam the phone down or to unload the emotional turmoil that still churned in his gut.

      “How about letting Cassie come stay with us for a while?” Hugh offered.

      “You want custody of my daughter because I’m gone too much, yet you’re suggesting I send her down there, where I’ll hardly ever see her, for who knows how long? That makes a lot of sense.”

      “And you going off and leaving her with a baby-sitter, a different one every few months is good?” Hugh’s voice rose.

      “She’s my daughter, Hugh. Do you think I would do anything to harm her?” He took a deep breath. “You don’t have the right to do this, to hurt us more than we already have been. Cassie is my daughter. She belongs with me. His voice was low, hard. His heart pounded painfully in his chest.

      “If you couldn’t keep a wife happy, what makes you think you can be a good parent?” Hugh cried.

      “It’s time for this conversation to end, before we both say things we will only regret,” Grant answered quietly, suppressed anger knotting in his throat.

      Hugh paused. “This isn’t about you or me, Grant. It’s about what is best for Cassie.”

      “Is it?” Grant asked softly with a thread of steel in his voice. “Catherine is gone, Hugh. Cassie is not going to replace her. And until you decide to drop this lawsuit, we have nothing to discuss.”

      His hand trembled when he hung up. He shut his eyes for one long minute, half expecting the phone to ring again, then slowly walked over to the window when it didn’t. The lights of the town burned below, throwing shadows on the snow that spread across lawns and roofs, so that it looked like a thick layer of winter butter.

       If you couldn’t keep a wife happy, what makes you think you can be a good parent?

      Hugh’s words returned. Unbidden. Unwanted.

      Pain slammed through Grant, taking his breath away. His hands curled into fists as a wave of guilt followed. As the memory of Catherine’s unhappiness unrolled in his mind.

      He’d tried. Oh, how he had tried.

      And he had failed.

      The words screamed through his mind, angry accusations from the past.

      Head bowed, fists clenched, he fought the memory. What happened between he and Catherine had nothing— not one damned thing—to do with his being a good parent to Cassie. He slowly raised his head. Forced each finger to unfurl.

      The only thing that mattered was what was best for Cassie.

      That is all he wanted and worked so hard for. It would be easier if he could deny his absences did not have much impact on Cassie, but he couldn’t. The walls inched closer once again.

      It would be easier if he could deny that Hugh’s concerns had some validity. He couldn’t.

      Regardless, СКАЧАТЬ