Marriage Is Just The Beginning. Betty Sanders Jane

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СКАЧАТЬ of guilt into his heart. “I know you do, pumpkin. So do I,” he finally answered in a harsh whisper. Then he squeezed her in a tight hug, as if able to protect her from all pain, past and future—an impossible task that made it all the more important.

      They sat in silence in the heavy dusk of the room. Snow fell from gray clouds; thick, fat flakes captured in the frame of the window. Cassie snuggled closer to Grant. He held her close, heart aching with love, and wondered what he was going to do.

      * * *

      Grant’s anger filled Sharon’s kitchen in almost visible waves. He stormed from counter to counter, jaw clenched so tight she feared for his teeth. She was thankful that Cassie was playing with Brittany in the backyard, enjoying the six inches of new snow.

      He turned and slapped Hugh’s letter on the table with a thump. “I can’t believe Hugh and Dorothy, that they have the nerve…” He swallowed as if to gain control. “I simply cannot believe they are doing this to me, to Cassie, after all that we’ve been through.” He ground the words through clenched teeth.

      “Read it—read the damned thing.” He nearly flung the letter at her.

      Sharon shook her head and pushed it away. “It’s not my letter to read,” she said. “Besides, I think you told me everything they said.”

      “You’re right.”

      He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, then slumped into a chair opposite her. Dark circles shadowed his glittering eyes. Sharon Wished with all her heart that something she could do or say would change matters.

      He leaned toward her, eyes burning. “Don’t they understand I am trying…trying to find a damned sitter. And I don’t ask to go on business trips. I shouldn’t have to travel so much once, the project starts, just a few more months.” He closed his eyes briefly.

      Sharon reached to clasp his large hand, which was clenched in a tight fist. He brought his gaze to hers and held it.

      “They think they can provide a better, more stable home for Cassie. A better home for my daughter than I can provide. A muscle leaped in his jaw, then tightened.

      Her heart ached for her friend. “I know you don’t want to hear this, Grant, but though misguided, they mean well,” she said softly. “They aren’t suggesting a change in custody to hurt you.”

      He pulled his hand away to drum his fingers against the table, frowning.

      “They love Cassie and only want what’s best for her, she added.

      “And taking her from her father is best?” He nearly spit the words.

      Sharon shook her head. “No, I don’t think so, but—”

      Grant held a hand to stop her. “They want what can’t be had—their daughter back. And since that won’t happen, they want mine.” His voice grew harder as he spoke. “I’m not even sure having a sitter would matter. They would probably question the permanence. The only way to provide a foolproof solution—” he emphasized the words “—is for me to marry. And it will be a cold day in hell before that happens.”

      “Grant, you won’t always feel that way. With time—”

      “Time? To hell with time. To hell with Hugh and Dorothy. They want Cassie as replacement for Catherine, as payment because I took her from them and brought her back in a coffin.”

      “No.” Sharon nearly shouted the word, frustrated and a little angry herself. Grant arched a brow. She continued, shaking her head. “You’re twisting this, distorting it, Grant. Hugh and Dorothy are not vindictive people—”

      “Aren’t they? You weren’t there, didn’t see how they acted toward the end,” he shot back with an angry growl.

      “Maybe they did act a little strange, but that is certainly understandable under the circumstances.” She paused. “You might have read more into it than was meant.” He snorted. She ignored him and continued. “There is no way I can really know, but I don’t think they are doing this to make life hard for you. If they’re guilty of anything, it’s of loving Cassie, and we are all guilty of that.”

      “Are you defending them?” He glared at her.

      “Only their right to care.” She glared back.

      “You need to keep in mind that this is not about you or me or Hugh and Dorothy,” she finally said quietly. “It’s about Cassie and what is best for her.”

      After a minute of silence. Grant dropped his gaze. He carefully folded the rumpled letter and slid it into his pocket. Then he looked at her. “I am sorry for losing my temper like that. It wasn’t fair to you,” he said quietly.

      She reached out to cover his hand with hers again. A large hand that dwarfed hers in comparison. “Don’t be silly, Grant. We’re friends, and that’s all part of what friends are for. To be there to listen. You would do the same for me.”

      He didn’t answer. Didn’t move a muscle.

      “Maybe you should consider letting me care for Cassie on a permanent basis in the evenings when you’re gone. It might ease Hugh and Dorothy’s concerns. They’ve met me and know I love her. I’m certainly stable, don’t plan to be moving anywhere, and I’m not looking for marriage. She paused. He remained silent. “I won’t meet you at the door in anything sexier than a pair of sweats,” she added. “I promise.”

      Grant half smiled, suddenly looking tired by the effort, then withdrew his hand to run it through his hair. “No. I won’t let you do that. This is my problem. I’ll solve it.”

      “You can’t always—”

      “Sharon.” Grant reached to cover her hands with his. A brief, friendly clasp. “You do far more for me than anyone can expect and I appreciate it. But I cannot allow you to take on the two of us on a permanent basis.”

      She opened her mouth to argue, to say that she wanted to.

      “No,” he said firmly.

      And she knew he meant it.

      * * *

      Grant had to go to Anchorage for meetings, just overnight, but Cassie clung to him at the airport and sobbed as if she would never see him again.

      “I have to go, Cass. You know that. I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise,” Grant repeated over and over again as he held his daughter.

      His eyes glittered when they met Sharon’s, and he looked as if his heart were being ripped out. She felt as though hers was.

      She reached to touch his arm. “She’ll be okay once you’re gone,” she said.

      His eyes held her for one long minute. “I wouldn’t leave her if I didn’t know that And there’s no one I trust my daughter with more than you,” he said in a husky voice.

      A sudden lump in Sharon’s throat prevented an answer. She silently squeezed Grant’s arm, then stepped back.

      “I have got to go, Cass. The plane is getting ready to leave,” Grant whispered, and pressed СКАЧАТЬ