Red Shoes and A Diary. Mia Zachary

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СКАЧАТЬ Jules.”

      “That’s great, except you’re not the kind of woman who takes a lover.”

      “Everyone keeps assuming they know what type of person I am. Did it ever occur to you that you don’t know me at all?”

      Julie stared at her. “But it’s not like you to be impulsive or reckless. For thirteen years, after Dad deserted us, you held our family together. Mom depended on you for everything and you practically raised me, even though we’re only two years apart.”

      Meghan ignored the bitterness seeping into her gut. The past couldn’t be undone, no matter how she wished it could. She kept her tone even when she spoke. “I’ve always done what other people expected of me, rarely what I wanted to do—”

      “I know that, Megs, and I’m sorry. But don’t think it goes unappreciated. Mom and I wouldn’t have made it without your support.”

      “Well, now that you’ve got this great job and Mom is in love again, it’s finally my turn to have a life. There’s an urgent need building inside me. A need to be reckless and daring, to be swept away into a passionate affair.”

      “You’re a nice girl—”

      “I don’t want to be a nice girl! I want to be bad.” She crossed her arms and raised her chin defiantly. “I’m twenty-seven years old. I’ve never done anything exciting or unexpected. This week is my chance.”

      Julie spoke with quiet firmness. “Megs, you wouldn’t even know how.”

      “Is it really so far-fetched to think I could find a boy toy, use his body for my personal pleasure, then walk away with a smile on my face?”

      “Yes, it is.”

      Frustration and resentment stabbed at her. She was getting advice on her love life from her younger sister, who’d not only dated more, but gotten married first. How wrong was that?

      “There’s so much locked up inside me, Jules. I can’t really put it into words. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder who that woman is and I’m afraid she’s the ice princess Rob described.”

      “You’re nothing like that, Megs! You’re warm and sweet—”

      She walked toward the window, not wanting to see Julie’s reaction as she bared her secret. “Maybe this seems crazy, but I need to do this. I want to be impulsive and wild. I want to be a real woman who isn’t afraid of her sexuality.”

      A woman like Elise.

      “I don’t think you’re crazy, I think you’re brave.” She turned back to see Julie smiling in admiration. “If this is what you really want, then go for it.”

      Meghan grinned in relief. It had been hard to admit that she wasn’t the perfect upstanding older sister after all. Feeling lighter for having shared her burden, she reached for the crab quiche on the hors d’oeuvres tray. Foster women never let emotion interfere with food.

      “So, can you turn me into a seductress?” She’d had the idea before arriving at Cayo Sueño, but now that she’d met Nick, she needed a specific plan.

      “Of course.” Julie took the last egg roll. “But not with the stuff you just took out of those suitcases.”

      Meghan studied her reflection in the bedroom mirror. She could stand to lose ten pounds, but her figure wasn’t bad. Her overall image was classic, professional, conservative—not exactly seductress material.

      “I love the underwear, Megs, it’s great. But the outer you needs to reflect the inner you. If you’re going to be a sexpot, you’ll have to dress like one.”

      “I quit my job, Jules. This isn’t the time for me to spend money on a new wardrobe.”

      “I’ll lend you some of my clothes. Come by my cottage before dinner, and I’ll do your makeup, too. We’re going to make you irresistible and then find the man of your dreams!”

      Nick was the man she wanted. Tall, dark and handsome with a dynamic personality and a very nice rear end, he was pure sex in a really ugly shirt. He was so much like her fantasy man it was scary. Well, except for the shirt.

      “Okay, let’s talk about this fabulous guy.” Julie walked into the living room and took out a sheet of the resort’s stationery.

      Meghan stood beside the chair, tilting her head to see over her shoulder. “What are you doing?”

      “I’m making a list of necessary traits for Mr. Fabulous. This way you can narrow down your search.”

      “I’ve already made my choice.”

      “Then, tonight at dinner you can see if Nick qualifies.” Julie looked up as she explained. “He’s got to be romantic. You know, the gift-for-no-reason and flowers-just-because type.”

      Meghan didn’t really care about this. She just wanted to have great sex. Then again, being pursued and persuaded might be fun, too.

      Julie went on. “He’s also got to be sensitive, so you feel comfortable exploring new sexual frontiers with him. Most importantly, he’s got to be ugly.”

      “Have you lost your mind?” Leaning over, she tried to grab the pen away. “Nick is not ugly. Far from it.”

      Julie wrestled the pen back. “According to all the talk shows, an ugly man won’t ever cheat. He’ll be too grateful a beautiful woman like you deigned to notice him.”

      Meghan rolled her eyes. “What kind of crazy list are you making?”

      “Okay, you can find Mr. Fabulous by yourself.”

      She picked up the paper. In addition to romantic and sensitive, Julie had written adventurous, daring, heroic. A deep sorrow filled her. It was a description of her late brother-in-law. She looked over at Julie.

      “I loved him and I miss him, too, but—”

      Her sister met her gaze with a sad smile. “It’s all right to say Kyle’s name.”

      Memories of him flooded her mind, along with her own guilt over the way he died. “I’m sorry, Jules. It’s just that I’m not looking for a man who chases after danger. Like you said, I need someone I’ll be safe with.”

      “Nobody understands your fears better than me. I’ll always be grateful for the times you came over to stay with me. It wasn’t easy being married to a cop, living every day in uncertainty, wondering every night if he would come home.” Her voice was edged with grief. “But I wouldn’t trade a single day we were together, despite how things ended.”

      “Oh, Jules.”

      Understanding passed between them as Julie wiped a hand under her eyes. “But, hey, you’re not looking for a husband anyway. Come on, let’s get back to Mr. Fabulous.”

      Grateful to change the subject, Meghan took out a fresh sheet of paper. She silently made out a list that included her real wishes, as well as a number of silly qualities guaranteed to make Julie smile again.

      “Okay, СКАЧАТЬ