The Complete Collection. William Wharton

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ let alone care, about what kind of furniture is in a house.

      We slowly move Mother near the couch. But she’s still too much in shock to pay much attention. We’re almost past when Dad stops suddenly.

      ‘Johnny, we’re probably wearing Mother out with all this coming and going; let’s sit down on this nice-looking couch here and take a little rest.’

      With that, he lowers himself onto the far end of the couch. I help Mom sit down and I sit beside her. Dad’s running his hand lovingly, possessively, over the nap of the couch. Mother’s holding herself in, exasperated.

      ‘We’ve been sitting in the car for the last half hour. I’m fine.’

      Dad sneaks a little kiss on the side of her neck; Mother swings around to see if anyone’s seen.

      ‘Just look at this couch, Bette. You know, this is the kind of couch I’ve always wished we had for our living room.’

      Mother looks down at the couch. She’s only doing it to shut him up, but then looks more carefully, her furniture-appraising eye in action. She struggles herself to a standing position. I stay seated. Dad watches. It’s like watching a very rare bird flitting around a trap. She goes to the back and pulls at an edge of the upholstery. She finds the price tag and reads it.

      ‘There must be some mistake here, Jacky. It says seventy-five dollars.’

      We both get up and look at the tag. Dad peers at it, looks at me and smiles.

      ‘Maybe it’s supposed to be seven hundred and fifty. It looks like a seven-hundred-and-fifty-dollar couch to me. They could have left off a zero by mistake.’

      Mother goes around lifting all the pillows on the couch and turning them over. She does the same with the back pillows. It’s the kind of thing Dad and I would never think of. There could be a hole in every one of those cushions and we’d have bought the couch, holes and all. Mother leans close and gives me one of her conspiratorial whispers.

      ‘Jacky, go over casually to that nigger there and ask if this is the right price. Don’t let her suspect you’re really interested.’

      She leans down and begins smelling the couch. I can’t figure what she’s smelling for. I ask the woman at the counter; she comes over and looks at the ticket.

      ‘That’s right, ma’am, seventy-five dollars. It certainly is a pretty couch, ain’t it?’

      Now Mother starts her pensive consideration. Every aspect of the living room must be considered. Yes, it goes well with the rug, yes, the drapes, yes, the dark wood of the Chippendale-style dining furniture. She’s onto the lamps when Dad slips off. He’s convinced she’ll buy it now; that part of his mission’s accomplished. I stay with Mom. I’ll go help with shirt selection after he’s found the pants.

      Now Mother’s wondering what she’ll do with the sectional couch she has.

      ‘Maybe Jeff and his wife would like it, Mom; they’re just setting up house and don’t have much money.’

      She goes hmmm, smiles and nods. That’s that. Next.

      ‘How could we ever get it home, Jacky? Do they deliver?’

      I go over and ask. They’ll do it but it costs twenty dollars.

      ‘Don’t worry, Mom, I can do it myself.’

      ‘You’ll scratch the roof of the car and you know how Daddy is about that car.’

      I tell her I’ll put it on the roof upside down; we’ll take the back streets home; they’ll give me rope to tie it down; somebody will help me get it on the roof; no, the roof won’t collapse; we’ll put the cushions inside the car, it isn’t likely to rain, there will be enough room for all of us; I’m sure the guy next door, or Billy, can help me get it off the roof; don’t worry, I have my checkbook with me. These are the answers.

      Then she breaks into a smile; it’s so nice to see her smile. Now it comes out. She’s been dying to change those big, old clunkers for ten years but never found anything she really liked. Daddy never wanted to spend any money on furniture. She sits down again, spreads her hands on each side, strokes the nap.

      ‘Isn’t it beautiful, Jacky?’

      I agree. It really is beautiful, a beautiful couch and beautiful to see her smiling. I sit beside her. She leans over impulsively and kisses me on the cheek.

      ‘You’re such a good boy, Jacky. I don’t know what we’d do without you.’

      That’s the way Mom is. All the fear, the dissatisfaction, the anxiety is forgotten. I even think she’s almost forgotten about her heart in the joy of getting this new thing. I’m happy it worked out. I’m half afraid that in loading the couch, I’ll find something seriously wrong, like sprung springs, a broken frame or missing legs. I start checking surreptitiously, but nothing seems amiss. I go over and write the check. I make arrangements to drive the car up close. I tell Mother to go with Dad while I get this done.

      We push the couch onto the roof and tie it down. It’s a real brute. I shove five cushions in the trunk and pile three in the back seat. This is one hell of a couch; it overhangs both front and rear a couple of feet. I’ll stay on back streets. If some cop stops us, I’ll tell him Mother’s a heart patient and we carry the couch along in case she has to lie down.

      It’s half an hour later when I go back to the clothing section. I can hear them laughing from the door. Mother’s letting loose with what I’ve always called her vulgar laugh. It’s deep, hearty, juicy and sounds like a laugh you’d expect to hear coming from the window of a brothel in New Orleans. It’s the laugh you want to hear when you tell a dirty joke.

      I go back. They’ve got the most outlandish clothes spread all over the counters. They’re setting up ‘his and her’ costumes. Mother’s moderating Dad’s more bizarre impulses, but not much. They really do have confession-going costumes. If they ever wear them, they’ll look as if they’re going to a public execution. Dad has a Gothic flair, Gothic in the Hawthorne or Poe tradition. They’ve also selected some light, Eastery pastel getups. Mother’s entered into the spirit of things and is master-minding the his-and-her bowling costumes. She gives me one of her stage whispers.

      ‘After all, Jacky, we’re not spending more than twenty-five dollars all together. The cloth in these clothes in worth that, and he’s having such a good time I hate to spoil it.’

      But she’s having a good time, too. Together we work on our having-tea-with-the-queen costume for the three of us. We’ll invite Joan over and pretend she’s the queen. We keep adding new touches to these costumes, sometimes including hats and shoes. We laugh ourselves sick imagining how Joan will react.

      I’m beginning to feel it’s going to be all right; that Mom will learn to enjoy her new ‘crazy’ husband.

      The next day, Joan calls and says she’s coming in the afternoon. We set out the best dishes and silver. We cover the dining-room table with a white tablecloth – the works. I make a crown from gold paper I find in the Christmas decoration box. The new couch is in and it’s beautiful. I’ve even maneuvered the old sectional jobs back to the garden bedroom.

      That new couch gives a golden light to the living room, a glow. We’re all pleased as pussy cats about СКАЧАТЬ