The Lost Diary of Queen Victoria’s Undermaid. Alex Parsons
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Название: The Lost Diary of Queen Victoria’s Undermaid
Автор: Alex Parsons
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Книги для детей: прочее
isbn: 9780008191443
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What strange ideas some people have. The Queen’s doctor is mad about fresh air, but just opening the windows doesn’t seem to be enough for him, oh no! Dr. Clark wants to build a machine to pump air into Buckingham Palace because he thinks the corridors are clogged up with moisture from the trees in the back garden. He may be right – it is very stuffy here, especially in the laundry.
Well, finally there’s a bit of life around the place. Some of QV’s cousins have come on a visit, and for the first time in ages QV has got people of her own age to be with. I think she’s rather taken with Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg, who is actually quite handsome (but not as handsome as Brian).
A Post Script to the Great Buckingham Palace Ventilation Debate. A friend of Dr Clark’s was due to come up with a new health and hygiene plan for the Palace, until someone read his latest book and realised that Dr Arnott was off with the fairies. Apparently he believes we could all live to be 300 years old if we breathed enough fresh air. I’d like to give it a try!
Just as I thought. QV’s in a real tizzy about losing Lord Melbourne and she’s taken against the man who’s due to be the next Prime Minister. According to her, Robert Peel minces about, shuffles his feet and points his toes. But is this a hanging offence? Is it not possible to govern a country whilst pointing one’s toes?
The only bright side of it (as far as she’s concerned) is that all the fretting about his mincing has made her a little less porky, so I’ve got a busy week ahead of me taking tucks in her drawers.
Well, did I or did I not predict that QV had her eye on Prince Albert? He’d only been here five days when she started laughing too loudly, shaking her ringlets and generally going weak at the knees. He seems utterly taken with her, too (maybe she’s started brushing her teeth again). QV didn’t waste any time proposing to Albert, because that’s the way queens do things.
I mentioned this to Brian but he has not taken the hint.
I finished a little early in the laundry last night, and got roped in by the scullery maid to help her peel apples. They’ve got this absurd apple-peeler. You’re supposed to stick an apple in the bracket and turn the handle – so the blade follows the shape of the apple, occasionally gouging out pieces of skin. It would be quicker to peel them by hand, but they’re gadget mad in the kitchen and there’s no talking sense to them.
One day, someone will invent a machine for washing clothes, I just know it. But I am not holding my breath.
Nothing’s simple when you’re Queen. Not only did QV have to propose to Albert, instead of the other way round, she’s now busy trying to sort out his title and the amount of money he’s going to get. All very undignified, if you ask me.
I said to Brian, as I was scrubbing out the wash tubs: “Aren’t we fortunate in being so ordinary that if we wanted to get married we could just go ahead without having to worry about who’s got the grander title?”
Brian said: “You’ll have to scrub a bit harder if you want to finish them tubs before midnight.”
Will Brian turn out to be the romantic hero of my dreams ? Will Brian’s grammar improve? I am beginning to have doubts.
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