Mr Unbelievable. Chris Kamara

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ office of the Liverpool Supporters’ Association (Sky Sports wing). Opposition fans used to sing ‘Sit down, Pinnochio’ whenever he raced out of the dugout, (a) because he liked to moan and (b) because he has a massive hooter.

      My problems started when Gérard had given the details of the Liverpool line-up to Sky Sports commentator Ian Crocker in the build-up to the game. As I was the co-commentator for the game, Ian passed it on to me about four hours before the kick-off. This is common practice for companies who have the broadcasting rights for live matches. It’s also helpful inside information. It gives the commentators and support staff some time to prepare themselves on the players and tactics for the match. Importantly, there is also an agreement that this is confidential information which should never be revealed to the opposition manager.

      When I saw Gérard by the side of the pitch before kick-off, I asked if I could go through Liverpool’s formation with him. He was as good as gold and willingly went through the team in detail. This is something I attempt to do with all the managers before a game. I want to be familiar with their systems, formations and teams. I don’t pretend to be a smart Alec. I would rather know exactly what a manager is thinking before the match. It also allows me to analyse any tactical changes as the game unfolds.

      Despite Liverpool being the better team that night, two late goals from Michael Tonge meant Sheffield United took the home leg 2–1. Just before the final whistle Gérard and Thommo had a massive touchline bust-up with Warnock. It was all handbags stuff. Something must have been said, but it soured the mood between the two camps.

      At the time, I remember, results weren’t good at Anfield. Gérard was being criticised for the team’s performance and the media were raising eyebrows at his work in the transfer market. It didn’t help that Soccer Saturday decided to put the boot in. The following weekend, the show ran an analytical piece on Liverpool, which basically asked the question, ‘Where are Liverpool going wrong?’

      During the inquest, Gérard Houllier’s unsuccessful signings were listed on the screen (complete with transfer fees), and several angry fans were interviewed outside Anfield. To make matters worse, the programme was then watched by the Liverpool players and coaching staff as they ate their lunch before their evening game with Southampton.

      Gérard was furious, but it was to get worse. I was then shown presenting Neil Warnock with the Scottish Mutual Performance of the Week Award in the United dressing-room immediately after the first-leg Worthington Cup win over Liverpool. The award was for their away win against Championship league leaders Portsmouth the week before. As the players celebrated their result over Liverpool, Neil and I were having a good laugh in front of the cameras. I was just doing my job and never considered for one minute this piece would cause me problems with anyone.

      Gérard and Thommo didn’t see the funny side. They were still smarting from the Soccer Saturday criticism, especially Thommo, who had previously been a panellist and took the analysis very personally. He didn’t talk to Jeff for a while afterwards. They made up when he was invited back on to the show a year or so later, but at that point the Liverpool staff naturally put me and Neil Warnock together as mates.

      Before the second leg at Anfield, Gérard refused to give details of the Liverpool team to Sky, and I heard I was getting the blame. Although I was advised against it, I went to look for him. I knew I’d find him by the side of the pitch, because that was always his pre-match ritual at Anfield. When I caught up with him I asked him what the problem was.

      ‘You are very friendly with Warnock,’ he said. ‘You will tell him my team line-up.’

      Bearing in mind Neil Warnock was going to get the team shortly anyway (they have to be in one hour before kick-off, and this was 90 minutes before), I couldn’t really see the problem. Clearly he did.

      ‘I am very friendly with a lot of managers, Gérard,’ I said. ‘But that doesn’t mean I’ll go running to them with team news or bits of gossip. I’m employed by Sky, not Sheffield United. If I got the sack from Sky tomorrow do you really think Neil Warnock would give me a job just because I’ve given him your line-up and formation?’

      He mulled it over for a bit. ‘I didn’t think about it like that,’ he said. He backed down and named his team for me, but it was a lesson. It emphasised how my role could be misinterpreted, or how my friendliness towards certain managers might be misconstrued. Without question, Gérard had overreacted. I was merely an innocent victim in the war of words between the two managers.

      The good thing was that after winning the second leg and seeing off Sheffield United to reach the Worthington Cup final, Gérard invited me into the Anfield boot room, where I sat with him, Thommo and Sammy Lee. We had a drink and a laugh. As far as he was concerned the whole thing was forgotten. If only Paul Alcock could have been as forgiving.

      

       UNBELIEVABLE, JEFF!

      Three weeks after my disagreement with Gérard Houllier, Neil Warnock actually did offer me a job – he asked me to become part of the Bramall Lane coaching staff. Sheffield United were still in the FA Cup and on course for the play-off final. He thought my experience would be a valuable addition. After careful consideration and a visit to the bigwigs at Sky, I turned it down. I knew I could do the coaching job part time, but it meant I would have to give up commentating on the Championship games. I had to be impartial at Sky and that would have been impossible if I was working for Sheffield United. A missed opportunity? Maybe, but thank goodness Gérard Houllier hadn’t got wind of the job opportunity on offer. He really would have thought there was a conspiracy going on.

       CHAPTER TWO ‘HE COULDN’T HIT A BARN DOOR WITH A BANJO!’

       PORTSMOUTH 7 READING 4

       FRATTON PARK, 29 SEPTEMBER 2007

      When people ask me just how exciting it can get when I commentate on Soccer Saturday, I’ll tell them about the cracker between Pompey and Steve Coppell’s Reading in 2007. Harry Redknapp was in charge at Fratton Park and had built quite an entertaining team. Meanwhile, Coppell’s side played some tidy football, but nobody predicted the game was going to give us 11 goals.

      Looking back, there probably could have been a goal with every attack. To watch it from the sidelines was great. To report on it was even better. I was screaming at producer Carly Bassett (daughter of the legendary manager Dave ‘Harry’ Bassett) in the studio, desperately trying to get back on air because so much was happening. The way the game was going, I could have talked for half the programme. It was the match I’d always dreamt of getting as a reporter.

      It’s rare that I watch myself on the telly after a day on Soccer Saturday, but when my sons told me that the Sky reports – complete with me screaming into a microphone – were getting a lot of hits online at YouTube, I had to take a peek. It was weird to watch and I felt like a bit of a wally, in fact it made me side with those who reckon I can look a gibbering wreck at times, but if it has made for great TV viewing – unless you are a Reading fan, of course – then that’s fine by me.

      There was more action to come when Reading got stuffed by Spurs 6–3 later on that season. I was there to cover that for Soccer Saturday as well, and by that time I reckon Steve Coppell must have had me marked as a curse. But for those of you not from the Madejski Stadium, here’s a re-run of the afternoon’s action from Portsmouth, which you will find most entertaining, unless you are a Reading fan of course – then skip to the next page.

       СКАЧАТЬ