This Naked Mind. Annie Grace

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СКАЧАТЬ even spend a few minutes each morning and night imagining the life you want while feeling positive emotions. This inspires success.

      Get excited about what the future holds. Cultivate feelings of success even before you are successful. You hold all the tools you need to regain control of your drinking. Begin to think about the power of your mind and the strength of your body. This is exciting! In fact regaining control of my life through This Naked Mind is one of the most exciting and life-affirming things that has happened to me. It can be the same for you.

      Don’t dwell on past experiences. Your past is in the past. You have been caught, and through this book you will see that your alcohol problem is not your fault. Forgive yourself. You are the hero of this story. There is no reason to dwell on the negativity of the past and every reason to forgive yourself. Look forward to an incredible future.

      Finally, relax! Let go of expectations, remain positive, and just let it happen. In Shawn Achor’s book The Happiness Advantage, he states, “positive emotions broaden our scope of cognition and behavior . . . they dial up the learning centers of our brains to higher levels. They help us organize new information, keep that information in the brain longer, and retrieve it faster later on. And they enable us to make and sustain more neural connections, which allows us to think more quickly . . . and see new ways of doing things.”

      Do what you can to put yourself in a positive frame of mind while reading. There is so much to look forward to! Trust the approach, and more importantly, trust your unconscious to do the right thing for you. You can’t control or micromanage your unconscious. Worry and stress are conscious activities—don’t bother with them.

2.

       THE DRINKER OR THE DRINK? PART 1: THE DRINKER

       “The world we have created is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

       —Albert Einstein

      To find a cure we must understand the problem. What causes the alcohol epidemic in society, the drinker or the drink? We will look carefully at each.

      The Blame Game 1.0: Me

      Who is to blame? It seems society would have you believe that it is you, the drinker. You probably believe that your inability to control drinking—unlike “regular” drinkers who can “take it or leave it”—is due to a flaw you possess and they don’t. What if that’s not true?

      I bet when you drink more than you should or when you wake up with a hangover, you beat yourself up. I know I did. I would drink a bottle or more of wine each evening and fall asleep quickly. But I awoke at 3 a.m. when the carbohydrates and energy from the alcohol flooded my system. Every night, I lay there and chastised myself for overindulgence, vowing to be better tomorrow.

      The next day seemed invariably long and tiring, and by late afternoon I craved my wine. When evening came, I pushed the vows I’d made to the back of my mind. Sound familiar? For you it may be a different drink, a different cycle. Perhaps your drinking is not quite as bad, or maybe it’s worse. The bottom line is that when we discover we are unable to control our alcohol, we blame ourselves. It’s easy to do. Society blames us; our families blame us; our friends look at us with pity, wondering why we can’t get our lives under control. We live in a state of constant self-loathing. What if it’s not your fault?

      It is difficult to be drinking more than you would like. You start to hate yourself, feeling weak and out of control. If you hadn’t hid your problem so well more people would judge you, wondering why you can’t simply “get it together,” “be responsible,” and “take control.” After all, they drink but don’t seem to have a problem.

      If you are like most problem drinkers, you interpret your inability to control your drinking as weak willpower or a personality flaw. If only you had more willpower, you could drink less or abstain. If only you could quit for some unknown length of time, your desire for alcohol would diminish. You would finally be like all the people you know who seem to be in control of their alcohol, who seem to be able to take it or leave it. But wait. Are you weak-willed in other areas of your life or is alcohol a strange exception? I am distinctly not weak-willed, as people who know me can attest. Isn’t it strange that I seem to lack willpower in this area?

      Does it make any sense that alcoholics—those who need to control their drinking most—are the same people unable to do so? Why can’t they simply exercise their free will and stop? Is there something, apparently undiagnosable, that makes certain people less able to control their alcohol consumption than others?

      Am I an Alcoholic?

      So what is an alcoholic? And how do I know if I am one? The majority of adults drink. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, a whopping 87% of adult Americans drink.²³ What differentiates the casual drinker, the moderate drinker, the heavy drinker, the problem drinker, and the full-blown alcoholic?

      According to Paying the Tab by Philip J. Cook, if you drink a single glass of wine each night you’re in the top 30% of all drinkers. If it’s two glasses, you’re in the top 20%.²⁴ That means that 80% of adults drink less than you. But many people who imbibe a glass or two of wine with dinner do not fit the stereotypical description of an alcoholic. Alcoholism isn’t strictly defined by how much or how often you drink. There is an invisible and ill-defined line that categorizes the “true alcoholic.” Since the line is arbitrary, and alcoholism does not have a standard definition, how are you supposed to know if you actually have a problem?

      A quick Google search reveals dozens of test questions intended to answer the question, “Am I an alcoholic?” They all carry a disclaimer saying they cannot provide a diagnosis for alcoholism. They say that is a decision I have to make.

      How is it that the majority of Americans drink, yet for a self-diagnosed select few, a fun, social pastime turns into a dark, destructive secret? And why then do we deny the problem and put off asking for help as long as possible, until the problem becomes truly unmanageable?

      It’s quite easy for us to self-diagnose as “non-alcoholics” when we start to think we have a problem. Most people believe that alcoholics are somehow different from other people, different from “us.” Many assume that alcoholism results from some type of defect. We’re not sure if the defect is physical, mental, or emotional, but we’re sure that “they” (alcoholics) are not like “us” (regular drinkers).

      Jason Vale explains that most doctors belong to the “state the obvious” brigade. They pronounce something like: “You are drinking a lot, and it is starting to affect your health. My recommendation is that you moderate or stop drinking.”²⁵ Then the doctor goes on to say that only you can decide if you are an alcoholic. Really? I might have a fatal illness, but no one can diagnose me? As a drinker, the suspicion that I have a serious problem will likely cause me to drink more. And why not? We believe alcohol relieves stress, and the journey to overcome denial, put away my pride, and determine if I am an alcoholic is terribly stressful.

      If there is a specific physical or mental attribute responsible for alcoholism, why can’t we test for it and segment the population into alcoholics and regular drinkers? That would enable us to prevent the afflicted individuals from falling victim to drink. If there is something inherently different about alcoholics, surely we could find some indication of it before they harm themselves, their family, and society as a whole.

      With СКАЧАТЬ