Devotion. Louisa Young

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      Susanna Norsa had spent her early life praying, sewing, and listening politely to her aunts and their friends as they prayed and sewed. She fully expected to spend her entire life in variations of this scene: moving up in role from niece to aunt, from aunt to great-aunt, perhaps; to mother and grandmother, if her father arranged things so. She hadn’t thought much beyond it. There was no reason to. Nobody had ever suggested it. And she loved to embroider. And outside was quite dirty.

      One of the aunts, a tiresome dissatisfied Aunt Rebecca, given to sighing and wishing for things, told her one afternoon behind the white linen curtains, in the shaded hush of siesta, that there was a painting, in a church, of their ancestors. Susanna could hardly believe her. Church was nothing to do with them. Why would Christians have a painting of Jews in their church?

      ‘Our ancestor Daniele did something very wicked,’ Aunt Rebecca whispered, toxic and gleeful. ‘He and his son Isaac. I don’t know what so don’t pester me asking about it. You will never know. It is forbidden. It is the church on via Monteverdi. Santa Maria della Vittoria.’

      Susanna asked her father. She was not afraid of him.

      He – bearded, arch-browed, a man unchanged for generations – said: ‘It’s the way of things that we are tolerated, not welcomed. It’s always been thus. If we are quiet, all is well.’ She did not press. She had never felt the need for her own wisdom, and she liked quiet.

      The year Susanna turned fourteen, a quick and vicious surge of something incomprehensible rose in her, and she found her customary logic and her habits of obedience quite unsatisfactory. For absolutely no reason, coming home from school one afternoon, she turned away from the route, removed her headscarf, tucked in her white collar, and strode off, guilty feet striking the street, to via Monteverdi. There was a church: white, stucco, its portico the gay shape of a woman curtseying in a long skirt, holding up the cloth. It was not that one. It was naked brick, tucked into the corner, small and imperturbable. Her pause at the door was brief. It had to be, or she would never dare enter. She entered. She did not burn up like a dead leaf in a fire. There was a painting, and another … she found her ancestors. Two men and two women, in a row, on a panel alone at the bottom of a painting of someone else’s glory. The younger man would be Isaac.

      Susanna’s rebellious surge did not last long, but she retained this one small act of independence: going without permission, in clothing as un-Jewish-looking as she could muster, to the church where the painting hung, to look at Isaac’s handsome face, full of ritegno, a holding back, a dignity. She developed and bore, on his behalf, a rich prideful resentment which gave purpose and value to the dappled shadow of shame that her name, in that town, had carried for hundreds of years. When she learnt the complex story, of how Daniele had whitewashed over a fresco of the Virgin Mary on the wall of his house, and paid a dozen punishments for it, it simply made her prouder of Isaac. He had stood by his father, suffered alongside him. She felt the blessing of not being alive at that time, four hundred years ago, when a Jew could be fined and tormented over and over for doing something he’d been given permission to do. When she visited Isaac, she talked to him. Soon enough she came to love him. She prayed for him when they prayed for the dead.

      When she met Aldo, the handsome engineering student, he looked to her like Isaac Norsa – only with the ineffable advantage of being alive. Aldo knew and loved the past but his talk was all of the future. To him Trent was not ancient anti-Semitic scandals about who had accused who of making matzohs with the blood of a small boy in 1475, but Italian land redeemed, finally, from foreigners by the blood of Italian soldiers, including a little of his own. He had served on the Isonzo, he had been one of the straws whirled on the vast chaotic floodtides of Caporetto.

      When Aldo spoke of the new Italy; of the sacrifices made, of the need for discipline and cleanliness and order and common sense, Susanna’s rather weary young heart lit up. Hers was not a fancy family; not wealthy, not ambitious. All that was required was respectable survival at a level which permitted charitable donations and decent marriage prospects. Had Susanna’s СКАЧАТЬ