The Way to myself. Андрей Алексеев
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Название: The Way to myself
Автор: Андрей Алексеев
Издательство: ЛитРес: Самиздат
Жанр: Биографии и Мемуары
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Our relationship was developing. We were getting used to each other, and half a year after our reacquaintance, I decided to make her a proposal. I chose the same pizzeria and again, our table was the only free one.
No romance! I remember, I started our conversation by proposing to Marina that we should end our current relationship. I meant that the stage of friendship and getting to know each other was coming to its end, and it was time to take the next step, a serious one – to become husband and wife.
However, my phrase came as a shock to her, of course. At that moment the only thing my future wife heard was “… we should end”. Her eyes filled up with tears and I understood: the joke was inappropriate.
We arranged our wedding to take place on October 20th. I still remember that sunny, warm day well…
Looking back at the story of our meeting and relationship – I understand that it’s absolutely common and maybe even trivial. No “love at first sight”, no insights like “That’s it, we’ve found each other…” – Nothing close to that! Moreover, I’m pretty sure that my future wife used to look cautiously at me. Maybe I frightened her by my assertiveness, my character, and audacity. There were no thoughts about a wedding!
We didn’t see each other as the chosen ones, didn’t feel anything special, didn’t make any plans about our possible future, or make up any reasons to meet each other… There was no overthinking in our story, if I can say that. Everything went with the flow, the relationship developed in a natural way. The only thing I understood from the very beginning was that I found all the features I valued and respected in Marina. That meant, there was no need to look for anybody else, as I had the right person next to me.
There were lots of happy occasions in those days: sudden meetings, only free tables – with her at them, and so on. It seemed we were being pushed towards each other. Maybe, that was a higher power, taking care of us. We didn’t think about anything like that those days, of course.
Anyways, the result of that absolutely non-romantic story is over 14 years of happy married life with 5 kids.
Mutual expectations checklist
As many people, as many love stories. One person I know has wanted to get married for as long as I’ve known him. He’s 40 now. I asked him: “What kind of wife do you want?” And he shares a list of different requirements, regarding her appearance, hobbies, skills and thoughts. It might be that this actual checklist makes his view of possible partners narrower. It doesn’t let the Universe take care of him and bring a proper woman to his life.
On the other hand, there is a woman born on the same day who’s ready to do anything for him, and love him for many years! They have been friends for years, but they can’t make it from the “friend” stage to “relationship”, because he thinks that woman doesn’t fit the image he had in his mind. She doesn’t match the criteria he set up for a possible wife.
I look at that story and I think: “Thank God, I didn’t have such a closed mind when I met my future wife!” I just followed the call of my heart and the way which opened in front of me.
I’M SURE THAT BY HAVING MANY EXPECTATIONS AND REQUIREMENTS REGARDING YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE, YOU ARE MAKING THE MOST IMPORTANT MEETING OF YOUR LIFE IMPOSSIBLE.
OR AT LEAST POSTPONING IT FOR MANY YEARS.
None of us is ideal, for sure. Everybody has their personality and habits, specific features and preferences, taste and experience. But just as there is night and day, every minus has its plus to gain rebalance. That’s the way nature cares of us, by teaching us something important through our closest ones.
Become what I want!
The main reasons why a man and a woman need a family – is unity, solidarity, and the opportunity to find and realize different features in themselves. Different people, the ones who find it difficult to be together most of the time, are attracted to each other for that reason. However, it’s only by being together that they can improve and teach each other.
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