Married Life. Buckstone John Baldwin

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СКАЧАТЬ between them.) – Don’t, don’t, pray don’t excite me; if you get to words, I must interfere, and any interference, at this moment, might be fatal.

      Mrs. Ly. I shall not attempt to explain my insinuations – I only desire that you will leave me to myself, and that your visits here may be less frequent.

      Mrs. Cod. Don’t you stir from this house, Coddle, till you are perfectly convinced of the baseness of her inuendoes. Be jealous, and demand an explanation; if you don’t, I’ll tear the list from all the doors at home.

      Mrs. Ly. Will you compel me to ring the bell?

       Mrs. Cod. Go into a rage, Mr. Coddle.

      Cod. I can’t; – (MRS. LYNX throws open a window, R. H.) – my love, we are in a thorough draught; that woman wants to destroy me. Let us leave the house, if you wish to see me alive an hour hence. Be satisfied – I’ll call on Mr. Lynx, and demand an explanation.

      Mrs. Cod. But one word more —

      Cod. No, no, not one. Come, my dear – I’ve the rheumatics in my right shoulder, already – I tremble from head to foot – I’ve taken cold, and you’ll have to nurse me for a month – Come, dear, come.

[Exit L. H. dragging off MRS. CODDLE.

      Mrs. Ly. (Falling into a chair.) – Wretched woman that I am – why did I ever give power to any man so to torment me? I’ll now follow him, and enjoy his disappointment.

      Mrs. Cod. (Without.) – Don’t send up your name at present – the poor creature is in a rabid state. – (MRS. YOUNGHUSBAND heard without.)

      Mrs. Y. Mrs. Lynx won’t mind us.

      Mrs. Ly. (Looking off, L. H.) – Who is this? Mr. and Mrs. Younghusband! how provoking – just as I’m going out. – What can bring them here? they are a couple that I can’t endure; though married but three months, they are perpetually contradicting and annoying each other; if, now, they had suffered the five years of matrimony that I have – there might be some excuse for them, but to disagree so early in their career, is sad, indeed.

Enter MR. and MRS. YOUNGHUSBAND, L. H

      Mrs. Younghusband. (Running to MRS. LYNX, and taking both her hands.) – How d’ye do, dear? don’t mind me and Y. coming in so unceremoniously – we have called to give you some information.

      Younghusband. How can you talk so absurdly, Louisa? we have not called to give Mrs. Lynx any information.

       Mrs. Y. For what, then?

      Young. Merely to tell her that a person wishes to see her.

      Mrs. Y. Well, that is information.

      Young. No, it isn’t.

      Mrs. Y. Yes, it is.

      Young. How can that be?

      Mrs. Y. To tell any body of any matter is to inform them; and to inform people, is, of course, to give them information. How you do contradict me!

      Mrs. Ly. What, then, is the information that you bring me?

      Mrs. Y. There, you hear, sir; Mrs. Lynx allows it to be information.

      Young. It can’t be.

      Mrs. Y. But it is.

      Young. It isn’t; you have not informed Mrs. Lynx of anything, yet.

      Mrs. Y. I should have done so, if you had not interrupted and contradicted me, as you always do.

      Young. Allow me to tell Mrs. Lynx – you must know, madam, that some years ago, my wife was sent to the boarding-school of Mrs. Dove, in Sussex.

      Mrs. Y. No, it was in Kent.

      Young. In Sussex!

      Mrs. Y. In Kent, I tell you.

      Young. If you aggravate me in this manner, I’ll go home again.

      Mrs. Ly. Well – well.

      Mrs. Y. Last night, at a friend’s house, we accidentally met Mr. and Mrs. Dove – when she informed us that she had given up her school, and was now in London for the purpose of collecting some old debts, and amongst the names of the persons that she had to call on, was that of a Mr. Lynx —

      Mrs. Ly. My husband?

       Mrs. Y. Your husband.

      Young. Louisa, how can you? why will you thus agitate Mrs. Lynx? – you are not sure the Mr. Lynx, that Mrs. Dove is looking for, is the husband of our friend – we merely surmised that it was.

      Mrs. Y. I tell you, I’m certain it is the same.

      Young. You are not!

      Mrs. Y. I am.

      Young. It can’t be the same.

      Mrs. Y. It is.

      Young. It isn’t.

      Mrs. Lynx. Now, pray, don’t trifle with me; think of my dreadful suspense – think of my feelings at this moment.

      Mrs. Y. Mrs. Dove is now below, with her husband; shall I ask her to walk up? – then she can relate this strange circumstance herself.

      Young. You ought first to tell Mrs. Lynx, who and what the people are, before you introduce them to her.

      Mrs. Y. There is no necessity for it.

      Young. There is.

      Mrs. Y. There isn’t.

      Young. I tell you, there is.

      Mrs. Lynx. Yes, yes – pray tell me.

      Mrs. Y. Well, then – Mrs. Dove, you must know, was a widow; and formerly the mistress of a large boarding school; but has now retired, after marrying her footman. They are the oddest couple you ever met with. She is perpetually drilling her husband into politeness and correct pronunciation, which the poor man will never comprehend as long as he lives. Oh, had you but seen them last night! whenever a bell rang, poor Mr. Dove could scarcely help starting from his chair, and running to attend to it; and could only be checked by the alarming eyes of Mrs. Dove. Ha! ha! – Oh, those eyes – how they did remind me of my school-days! just the looks that she used to dart at us, poor refractory girls.

      Young. My dear, why don’t you keep to that portion of the narrative, most interesting to Mrs. Lynx; she don’t want to hear of great eyes and refractory girls.

      Mrs. Y. I am sure I have mentioned all that is necessary.

      Young. You have not.

      Mrs. Y. I have.

      Young. You have not.

      Mrs. Ly. Ask them to walk up, I СКАЧАТЬ