Chipped blockheads. Fedor Laburchenko

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СКАЧАТЬ Wow! Probably you would like to see our laboratory? Of course, we deal with more down-to-earth issues there. But perhaps they will be interesting to you too.

      The chairman led Maria to a detached building. Entering it, the girl saw a quite decent laboratory and no personnel.

      IVAN: Meet the pride of our collective farm, Masha, the secret laboratory named after Ivan Alekseevich. Here, we had a plan to advance science. But for now, we had to pause: the person who promoted this science had left for the capital, where they pay much more for science.

      MARIA (looking around with admiration): It’s wonderful! Ivan Alekseevich, I would never have thought that in such a… village…

      IVAN (with a grin): In such a hole, you mean? It’s okay, you can call a spade a spade.

      MARIA: Yes, you are right. I didn’t think I’d see something like that here. Where did you get all this equipment from? It’s very expensive!

      IVAN: Maria, dear, we are collective farmers, but we are not just out of the trees. A large portion of the profit from agriculture is invested in technology. In this lab, for instance, experiments such as plant genome editing have been conducted. We have results already, and they are of real use. For some crops, we have increased the yield many times, made them more weather resistant, and also adapted them to pest control. I can speak about it for hours! And here is also the thing we are proud of: a bioreactor for growing meat from one animal cell. But this is still a secret project, so I can’t tell you much. Well? Do you like it? Will you join us?

      MARIA (embarrassed): I don’t even know, Ivan Alekseevich. This is a very different direction. I’m a neuroscientist. That’s quite another kettle of fish. Besides…

      Ivan (interrupted his interlocutor, putting his hand on her shoulder and looking into her eyes): Masha, frankly speaking, we desperately need people like you! No matter we are a village. Times have changed. Money, resources, equipment – we have everything, they give us everything. But I have to find people myself. Where can I find them? The locals don’t want to get smart, and the smart ones don’t want to come here. That’s why I set sights on you. Why do you think so many smart foreigners lived in Rus centures ago? Yes, because our Proshka never needs anything! In the forest, there is honey and berries; in the ground turnips grow on their own: rivers are full of all kinds of fish. Take as much as you can take away, and you don’t need to invent anything. This is how our fellow countrymen live. But you and I understand that it’s not the way to live life!

      The chairman glared at Masha. She understood that saying a simple “no” would not work.

      MARIA: May I think it over?

      IVAN (removes his hand from the girl’s shoulder and looks away): Of course, my dear girl! By the way, I don’t care what you are going to do in this laboratory. You can start with the research you did before at your previous work. I’m sure we can apply any your idea. The main thing for me is that you stay with us!

      The girl’s eyes lit up. The idea of continuing her experiments was very tempting.

      MARIA: What if my experiments require additional equipment?

      IVAN: No problem! We will order everything you need and as much as you need!

      MARIA: Even if this equipment is from German?

      IVAN (laughing): Yes, even if it’s from the Czech Republic!

      Scene 4

      The porch at the village store’s staff entrance was among the favorite meeting places for those who enjoyed stiff drinks. There, you could meet anyone: there was only one store in the village, and all roads led there. Nikolai, a regular customer at the events, as usual, was telling his friends interesting stories.

      NIKOLAI: Well, I said to him: “You, Makar, exchanged boxers with Big-Bellied yesterday.” And he said he didn’t remember. It’s okay, I thought his wife would remind him: she keeps records of his underwear. And here…not ours! Well, she said, come up to me, dear Makarushka. She wrapped her hand in those boxers and gave him a hack in the face. That’s where he got the black eye, and you say he fought Wad. If he gonna fight Wad, he must first defeat his wife. Or survive at least one round with her. But that is not the whole story. The next day Makar…

      At that moment, Kolya saw Alina a short distance away. The girl walked quickly towards the store.

      MITYAY (looking forward to hearing the whole Kolya’s story): So?

      KOLYA (shifts his gaze from Alina to Mitya): What?

      MITAYA: What happened to Makar the next day?

      KOLYA (clearly forgot what he was talking about): Makar has left for the neighboring region to work on side.

      MITYAY (irritated): Kolya, damn it. To hell with his work on side! You were talking about his boxers!

      KOLYA (waves off): Go to hell with your boxers, Mityai! Wait a little, I have things to do.

      Kolya rushed after Alina and caught up with her at the store entrance. Shocked Mityai saw him disappear in surprise.

      Kolya made Alina stop, touching her shoulder. The girl shrugged off at first, but, recognizing Kolya, she relaxed and even smiled slightly.

      ALINA (jokingly): Kolya, is that you? I wouldn’t recommend repeating this. The reflex might work. Elbowing. Do you know this? KOLYA: I know. The man standing in front of you is not an amateur, by the way. I want to ask you: how is your grandfather? Did they call him? I mean those who want the spring.

      ALINA (sighing): Grandfather is on edge. Of course, he won’t be scared that easily. But they will get on his nerves. We will see. When he reaches for the double shotgun, there will be a foul-up!

      KOLYA (laughs): Yes, Fyodorovich – he’s a fighter.

      Alina smiled. Kolya, noticing that the girl had become more friendly, decided to flirt.

      KOLYA: Why are you walking here alone? Now there are so many strange guys wandering around here.

      ALINA (with squinty eyes): What kind of strange guys do you mean?

      KOLYA (scratching the back of his head): Well, all sorts of drunk or inadequate ones.

      ALINA (smiling and looking at Kolya): Drunk, you say? Well-well.

      Alina waved her palm in front of her nose, showing her dislike for the smell of alcohol emanating from her interlocutor.

      KOLYA (blushed): Oh, I see. Yes, I did it, I drank a little bit. It’s a friend’s B-day… his daughter’s…

      ALINA: Sorry, but I can’t stand the smell of alcohol on men.

      KOLYA (shunting on another topic): So… this… what was I talking about? I’m serious, you shouldn’t walk alone through the forest belt. What if some maniac is hiding there? It’s better to spend the extra ten minutes and go around on the road.

      ALINA (laughs): Who? Maniac? Kolya, don’t be ridiculous. Do you think my grandfather did not teach his beloved granddaughter close-in combat techniques? He’s a candidate master!

      KOLYA: СКАЧАТЬ