The First Time Mums’ Club. Lucie Wheeler

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СКАЧАТЬ using her hand as if that would help her brain, and settled for ‘fleshy.’

      ‘You’re making my prawn sandwich sound like a horror movie,’ Imogen giggled and picked up the menu again. ‘Maybe I’ll go for something else. It doesn’t sound as appealing now.’

      ‘Sorry, I won’t ruin your next choice.’ She smiled lovingly.

      ‘Hi ladies, are you ready to order?’

      ‘I am, are you ready, Ims?’ Alice flashed the woman a smile before settling back on Imogen.

      She nodded at Alice but indicated that she should go first, to give herself some more time to look.

      ‘I’ll just have a BLT with a cup of tea, please.’ She handed back the menu.

      ‘No problem, and for you?’ The woman looked at Imogen with a beautiful, big smile, the lines around her eyes creasing as she did. She had a simple t-shirt with khaki jeggings on and an apron tied around her waist that had splatters of something brown on. She had her hair tied back into a tiny bun with a few strands loose around her face and she just looked the epitome of friendly.

      ‘I’ll just have a cheese and ham panini please, with a cappuccino.’

      ‘No problem, ladies. I’ll be back in a minute with your drinks and if you need anything else, just give me a shout. My name is Zoe.’ She gave another big smile and walked off.

      ‘Thank you, we will.’ Alice watched Zoe leave and Imogen felt a stab of jealousy. She kept it hidden, though. She knew she was being stupid. She was always the one to feel insecure in their relationship, even though Alice would continually reassure her that no one would ever come close to what they had. It was an insecurity that she guessed stemmed from her mum and the way she had always criticised her and never accepted her just for who she was.

      ‘So this place is nice. When did you come in here?’ Imogen had never even seen this café before.

      ‘Someone at work was talking about it the other day and they recommended it to me. Said I should bring you here. I had a quick peek at it on the internet and it looked nice. Thought it would be a nice treat to have some lunch out today. We need to make the most of it before the baby comes!’

      Imogen couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on her face as Alice spoke about the baby. Their baby. She dreamt about the weekend strolls and spending time together as a family of three. She didn’t even mind about the late-night feeds and constant crying. Well, not yet, anyway. She might be spouting a different story this time next year. ‘I still can’t believe it,’ she said, catching Alice’s eye and feeling warmth course through her body.

      ‘I know. It’s crazy. How are you actually feeling in yourself, though? Any more nausea today? You seemed pretty rough this morning?’

      ‘Yeah, it comes and goes. It’s not too bad today, actually. I just hope I manage to get lunch inside me before it starts again.’

      ‘Well, if you can’t finish your lunch, I’m sure I can help you. Especially now that you’ve seen sense and abandoned the idea of slime in bread. You do look good today, though. Positively glowing!’ Alice stood up. ‘Just going to run to the loo.’ She placed her hand on Imogen’s shoulder as she went past her and gave it a squeeze. It was the little things like that that still sent shivers down Imogen’s spine. She loved how Alice didn’t have to say anything; sometimes just a simple squeeze of the hand on her shoulder could say a thousand words. Their connection was special. Never before had she felt the feelings she did when she was with Alice. She couldn’t describe it. Alice made her feel complete. She felt as if she could face the world as long as she had Alice by her side.

      This was why she had texted her mum the other day. She didn’t tell her about the baby; she just made the connection. Their relationship was a difficult one. Imogen couldn’t always tell what sort of mood her mum was going to be in and how she was going to take her messages. She had received a stroppy message back when she texted so she and Alice had agreed that maybe it was best to keep a distance from her for now. Alice didn’t want Imogen to be stressed out unnecessarily and she saw the texts from Imogen’s mum as completely unnecessary. She didn’t think there was any point in Imogen trying to get her mum to understand because, quite frankly, that was never going to happen. Imogen had her and that was all she needed, according to Alice.

      But, whilst Alice was away in the toilet, Imogen pulled out her phone as it beeped. She had another message from her mum. She had been receiving these stupid messages ever since she had made the first move and she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t tell Alice, she didn’t need that kind of stress at the moment. Alice would get upset and then confront her mum and it would become a whole big thing, like last time. So she kept it all to herself and she tried her best to smooth the situation, but the fact was, her mum was never going to approve of their relationship and she would always be a problem. She should’ve listened to Alice rather than partake in this back-and-forth battle of words. If she let the poison seep into her relationship, it would fall apart. Not that they weren’t a strong unit, but the venom-laced messages she was starting to get would surely be a cause for anger on Alice’s part and Imogen didn’t need to be arguing with her too. As understanding as Alice was, she just didn’t know what it was like to not have her mum around. So things were just best kept quiet. And whilst she felt less bothered by these texts more recently, now that she was expecting, it gave the situation a bitter sweet tinge.

      She clicked on the message icon and opened it up.

       Imogen, please, don’t ignore me. Like I said before, we can help you. You can come and stay with us until you get back on your feet and she won’t even know you’re here.

      She, was Alice. Imogen’s mum couldn’t bring herself to even say Alice’s name now. It had been about six months since she had last seen her mum in person, and that was such a bad experience, Imogen had steered clear ever since, just exchanging messages and phone calls to keep the peace as much as she could whenever her mum was having a good day. At the end of the day, she was her mum and she didn’t want to just not have her around. She had thought things would get better with time, once her mum realised just how much in love she and Alice were. Maybe she would even accept their relationship. But it hadn’t happened yet. And now she had a baby to throw into the mix. She couldn’t help but think that cutting all ties would be the best answer for her and the baby. Except, she didn’t want to. She wanted her mum. She so desperately wanted to have the supportive mum that everyone else had. She should be sharing messages of elation about the baby with her, rather than nasty name–calling, argumentative ones. It was a constant battle she fought internally with herself.

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