Five Plays. Samuel D. Hunter

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СКАЧАТЬ give Grandpa the present you got for him?

      DORIS: You didn’t have to make such a scene, now I won’t get enough to eat.

       (Becky takes a small wrapped present out of her bag and gives it to Cole.)

      NICK: Oh for God’s sake.

      KELLY: Mom, I just think that Nick / was trying—

      DORIS: Oh honey don’t call me that, I told you, I don’t like it.

       (Cole opens the present.)

      BECKY: It’s a Chia. It’s shaped like a head.

      COLE: I don’t understand.

      TAMMY: Now you have something to take care of!

       (Becky pulls out a book, starts reading.)

      KELLY (To Doris): So did Nick tell you / the good news?

      TAMMY: Will you put that away please?

      DORIS: / Good news? Oh my, are you . . .?

      BECKY: No.

      NICK: Oh God no, I’m—. / It’s a job thing, I got a promotion.

      TAMMY: It’s Grandpa’s birthday.

      DORIS: / Oh. Well that’s good.

      BECKY: Yay.

       (Eddie enters, goes to Doris, Nick, and Kelly. Max reenters with a large carafe of rosé wine, goes to Tammy.)

      EDDIE: Sorry, guys, one of our deep fryers is being weird, and / our cook doesn’t—

      DORIS: / We understand.

      MAX (To Cole and Tammy): Would you guys like to try a sample?

      TAMMY: Oh—sure!

       (Max pours Tammy a taste of wine. Eddie sits with Doris, Nick, and Kelly.)

      MAX: / Anything free is good, right? Heh. It’s a white zinfandel. It’s bright and flavorful. How was the food, by the way?

      EDDIE: It’s just—it’s really great to have you guys here. It’s been way too long, we’re finally all in the same room / together—

      COLE: / The meat in my lasagna was strange.

      DORIS: How much is the discount?

      BECKY: / Well you know ground beef has a ton of feces in it.

      EDDIE: Oh, it’s—it’s fifty percent, it’s half off—

      COLE (To Becky): / Feces?

      NICK: She thinks you can / get it for free.

      TAMMY: Okay, Becky.

      KELLY (To Nick): Honey.

       (Isabelle enters, goes to Eddie.)

      DORIS: Well. / He’s the manager.

      ISABELLE: Eddie, Theo is really freaking out about / the fryer in there—

      EDDIE: / Okay, thanks, just a minute.

       (Isabelle exits.)

      BECKY: I read all about it, there’s like a ton of feces in ground beef / because the meat industry doesn’t even—

      DORIS: Fifty percent is fine, Eddie, thank you.

      TAMMY: / Becky for the love of God.

      EDDIE: I mean I can probably get you some free appetizers if you guys want?

      MAX (Referring to the wine): / Do you—want more?

      EDDIE: We’ve got sauces for breadsticks, this mozzarella fondue thingy—

      TAMMY: / Yes!

      DORIS: Oh I’m sorry that all just sounds so disgusting.

       (Isabelle rushes in, waves at Eddie. Max pours Tammy a full glass.)

      ISABELLE: Eddie.

      EDDIE (To Nick, Kelly, and Doris): Lemme just take care of this, and I’ll / be right back—

      DORIS: Eddie, it’s fine.

      NICK: Go back to work, buddy, don’t worry about it.

       (Eddie exits with Isabelle. Max finishes pouring the wine and exits. Tammy notices Nick from across the room.)

      TAMMY: Nicky?!

       (Nick looks up.)

      NICK: Oh, God. Tammy?

       (Tammy gets up with her wine, approaching Nick.)

      TAMMY: How are you?! It’s been forever!

      NICK: Yeah, we’re just here for a couple days.

      TAMMY: Is this your wife?!

      KELLY: I’m Kelly.

      TAMMY: She’s so cute! Nicky, she’s so cute!

      DORIS: You and Nicky used to date, didn’t you?

      COLE (To Becky): / What’s that you were saying about the feces in the ground beef?

      DORIS: You were the one with the bangs.

      TAMMY: Yes!

      DORIS: They were so strange.

      TAMMY: / I always admired you for leaving. I doubt Troy and I are ever gonna get outta here. What do you do now?

      BECKY (Pulling out her phone): Seriously, the meat industry is horrible, they don’t even care. I saw a video on the internet about how they slaughter cows, do you want to see it?

      NICK: / I’m in real estate, in Saint Paul.

      COLE: Yes.

      TAMMY (Louder than she intends): Holy crap! Too bad for me, I could’ve been— . . .!

       (Tammy stops herself, takes a drink of wine.)

       It’s so good to see you!

       (Becky shows a video on her phone to Cole. Troy reenters with some dirty dishes, sees Tammy with the wine, and goes to her.)

      TROY: Tammy, what are you doing?

      TAMMY: It was—. It’s just a sample, he offered me a— . . .

       (Short pause. Troy turns away.)

      TROY СКАЧАТЬ