The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush. William Makepeace Thackeray

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СКАЧАТЬ When high words begin in a family drink generally follows on the genlman's side; and then, fearwell to all conjubial happyniss! These two pipple, so fond and loving, were now sirly, silent, and full of il wil. Master went out earlier, and came home later; missis cried more, and looked even paler than before.

      Well, things went on in this uncomfortable way, master still in the mopes, missis tempted by the deamons of jellosy and curosity; until a singlar axident brought to light all the goings on of Mr. Altamont.

      It was the tenth of January; I recklect the day, for old Shum gev me half a crownd (the fust and last of his money I ever see, by the way): he was dining along with master, and they were making merry together.

      Master said, as he was mixing his fifth tumler of punch and little Shum his twelfth or so—master said, “I see you twice in the City to-day, Mr. Shum.”

      “Well, that's curous!” says Shum. “I WAS in the City. To-day's the day when the divvydins (God bless 'em) is paid; and me and Mrs. S. went for our half-year's inkem. But we only got out of the coach, crossed the street to the Bank, took our money, and got in agen. How could you see me twice?”

      Altamont stuttered and stammered and hemd, and hawd. “O!” says he, “I was passing—passing as you went in and out.” And he instantly turned the conversation, and began talking about pollytix, or the weather, or some such stuff.

      “Yes, my dear,” said my missis, “but how could you see papa TWICE?” Master didn't answer, but talked pollytix more than ever. Still she would continy on. “Where was you, my dear, when you saw pa? What were you doing, my love, to see pa twice?” and so forth. Master looked angrier and angrier, and his wife only pressed him wuss and wuss.

      This was, as I said, little Shum's twelfth tumler; and I knew pritty well that he could git very little further; for, as reglar as the thirteenth came, Shum was drunk. The thirteenth did come, and its consquinzes. I was obliged to leed him home to John Street, where I left him in the hangry arms of Mrs. Shum.

      “How the d—,” sayd he all the way, “how the d-dd—the deddy—deddy—devil—could he have seen me TWICE?”

CHAPTER IV.

       Table of Contents

      It was a sad slip on Altamont's part, for no sooner did he go out the next morning than missis went out too. She tor down the street, and never stopped till she came to her pa's house at Pentonwill. She was clositid for an hour with her ma, and when she left her she drove straight to the City. She walked before the Bank, and behind the Bank, and round the Bank: she came home disperryted, having learned nothink.

      And it was now an extraordinary thing that from Shum's house for the next ten days there was nothing but expyditions into the city. Mrs. S., tho her dropsicle legs had never carred her half so fur before, was eternally on the key veve, as the French say. If she didn't go, Miss Betsy did, or misses did: they seemed to have an attrackshun to the Bank, and went there as natral as an omlibus.

      At last one day, old Mrs. Shum comes to our house—(she wasn't admitted when master was there, but came still in his absints)—and she wore a hair of tryumph, as she entered. “Mary,” says she, “where is the money your husbind brought to you yesterday?” My master used always to give it to missis when he returned.

      “The money, ma!” says Mary. “Why here!” And pulling out her puss, she showed a sovrin, a good heap of silver, and an odd-looking little coin.

      “THAT'S IT! that's it!” cried Mrs. S. “A Queene Anne's sixpence, isn't it, dear—dated seventeen hundred and three?”

      It was so sure enough: a Queen Ans sixpence of that very date.

      “Now, my love,” says she, “I have found him! Come with me to-morrow, and you shall KNOW ALL!”

      And now comes the end of my story.

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