Jonah and Co. Yates Dornford

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ gentleman was still talking to the postman, while his pig's eyes were still surveying the car. From his companion's demeanour, he seemed to be whetting his wit at our expense.

      "This is intolerable," said I. "Ask him what he wants, lady."

      Adèle leaned forward and put her head out of the window.

      "I think you wished us to stop, Monsieur?"

      The gendarme waved his hand.

      "Wait," he said insolently.

      The postman sniggered shamefacedly.

      Adèle sank back in her seat, her cheeks flaming.

      In a voice trembling with passion I conjured Berry to proceed.

      The moment the car moved, the official sprang forward, gesticulating furiously.

      As we passed him, I put out my head.

      "Now it's our turn," I said warmly, "to make the postman laugh."

      From the hoarse yells which followed us, it was clear that we had left the fellow beside himself with rage. Looking back through the little window, I could see him dancing. Suddenly he stopped, peered after us, and then swung about and ran ridiculously up the street.

      "Blast him, he's going to telephone!" said I. "Where's the map?"

      Together Adèle and I pored over the sections.

      "If," said Berry, "you're going to direct me to turn off, for Heaven's sake be quick about it. At the present moment I'm just blinding along into the blue and, for all I know, an oversized hornets' nest. Of course they mayn't sting when there's an 'r' in the month, but then they mightn't know that. Or am I thinking of oysters?"

      "They'll stop us at Vendôme," said I. "Not before. Right oh! We must turn to the right at Cloyes and make for St. Calais. We can get round to Tours that way. It'll take us about twenty miles out of our way, but——"

      "Yes, and when we don't show up at Vendôme, they'll wire to Calais.

       Seriously, as Shakespeare says, I'm all of a doo-dah."

      That we should be stopped at St. Calais was not likely, and I said as much. What did worry me, because it was far more probable, was that when they drew blank at Vendôme, the authorities would telephone to Tours. Any apprehension, however, regarding our reception at that city was soon mercifully, unmercifully, and somewhat paradoxically overshadowed by a more instant anxiety lest we should never arrive there at all. From the moment we left the main road, the obstacles in the shape of uncharted roads and villages, pavements, cattle, goats, a horse fair, and finally a series of appalling gradients, opposed our passage. All things considered, my brother-in-law drove admirably. But it was a bad business, and, while my wife and Berry were very staunch, I think we all regretted that I had been so high with Blue Nose.

      Night had fallen ere we slunk into Tours.

      Fully expecting to find that the others had well-nigh given us up, we were astounded to learn at the hotel that Ping had not yet arrived. Indeed, we had finished dinner, and were debating seriously whether we should take a hired car and go to seek them, when there was a flurry of steps in the corridor, Nobby rushed to the door, and the next moment Daphne and Jill burst into the room.

      "My darling," said Berry, advancing, "where on earth have you been?"

      My sister put her arms about his neck and looked into his eyes.

      "Kiss me 'Good-bye,'" she said. "Jonah's just coming."

      Her husband stared at her. Then—

      "Is it as bad as all that?" he said. "Dear, dear. And how did he get the booze?"

      Somebody cleared his throat.

      I swung round, to see Jonah regarding us.

      "You three beauties," he said. "Four with Nobby."

      "But what do you mean?" said Adèle. "What have we done?"

      "Done?" cried Jonah. "Done? Where d'you think we've been?"

      "It can't have been goats that stopped you," said Berry, "because I had all the goats. There was a great rally of goats at St. Calais this afternoon. It was a wonderful smell—I mean sight."

      "Guess again," said Jonah grimly.

      "You haven't been waiting for us on the road?" said I.

      "You're getting warmer," was the reply.

      Adèle gave a sudden cry.

      "O-o-oh, Jonah," she gasped, "you've been at Vendôme!"

      I started violently, and Berry, who was about to speak, choked.

      "That's right," said Jonah shortly. "Nice little place—what I saw of it. … Lovely view from the police-station." He leaned against the mantelpiece and lighted a cigarette. "It may amuse you to know," he added, "that the expiation of your crime took us six and a half hours and cost five hundred francs."

      In response to our thirsty enquiries, the tale came bubbling.

      My surmise that the blue-nosed gendarme would telephone to Vendôme had been well-founded. He had forwarded an exact description of Pong, together with the letters and the first three figures of the four appearing upon the number-plate. Six minutes later Ping had sailed innocently into Vendôme—and up to her doom. …

      The Vendôme police could hardly believe their eyes. Here was the offending car, corresponding in every particular to the one described to them, admittedly fresh from Châteaudun, yet having covered the thirty-nine kilometres in eleven minutes. It was amazing … almost incredible … almost. … Of outlaws, however, all things were credible—even a speed of one hundred and thirty-six miles an hour. For it was without doubt that outlaw which had flouted Authority at Châteaudun. Oh, indubitably. And, having thus flouted Authority, what was more natural than that it should endeavour to outstrip the consequences of its deed? But, mon Dieu, what wickedness!

      In vain had Jonah protested and Daphne declared their innocence. The telephone was again requisitioned, and the blue-nosed gendarme summoned and cross-examined. As luck would have it, he could not speak to the passengers, beyond affirming that they included one man and one woman. … When he gratuitously added that the reason why he could not swear to the whole of the number was because of the terrible pace at which the car was moving, the game was up. …

      Finding that the accusation of travelling at a horrifying speed was assuming a serious look, my sister and cousins at length decided that they had no alternative but to give us away. They had, of course, realised that Pong was implicated from the beginning. Consequently, with the flourish of one who has hit upon the solution of a problem, they divulged our existence. They were politely, but wholly disbelieved. In reply, they had politely, but confidently, invited the police to wait and see. …

      For over four hours they had anxiously awaited the arrival of Pong. When at last the humiliating truth began to dawn upon them, and it became evident that we had ruled Vendôme out of our itinerary, the shock of realising, not only that they were to be denied СКАЧАТЬ