Lady John Russell: A Memoir with Selections from Her Diaries and Correspondence. Various
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Название: Lady John Russell: A Memoir with Selections from Her Diaries and Correspondence
Автор: Various
Издательство: Bookwire
Жанр: Языкознание
isbn: 4064066213176
isbn:
Page 34.
PUTNEY HOUSE, April 30, 1840 Finished my beloved "Sir Samuel Romilly." It is a book that everybody, especially men, should immediately read and meditate upon.
It was during the summer of this year, 1840, that she began to see more of Lord John Russell. She had met him a good many times at "rather solemn dinner-parties," and he had stayed at Minto. She had known him well enough to feel distress and the greatest sympathy for him when his wife died, leaving him with two young families to look after--six children in all, varying in age from the eldest Lister girl, who was fourteen, to Victoria, his own little daughter, whose birth in 1838 was followed in little more than a week by the death of her mother. Lord John was nearly forty-eight. Hitherto he had been a political hero in her eyes rather than a friend of her own; but, as the following entries in her diary show, she began now to realize him from another side.
June 3, 1840, PUTNEY HOUSE Lord John Russell and Miss Lister16 came to spend the afternoon and dine. All the little Listers came. All very merry. Lord John played with us and the children at trap-ball, shooting, etc.
The next time they met was at the Admiralty: "Little unexpected Cabinet meeting after dinner. Lords John Russell and Palmerston, who talked War with France till bedtime. I hope papa tells the truth as to its improbability." Two days later she writes: "Lord John Russell again surprised us by coming in to tea. How much I like him." The next evening she dined at his house: "Sat between Lord John and Mr. E. Villiers. Utterly and for ever disgraced myself. Lord John begged me to drink a glass of wine, and I asked for champagne when there was none!"
Page 35.
On August 13th they left London for Minto:
We had two places to spare in the carriage, which were taken by Lord John Russell and little Tom [his stepson, Lord Ribblesdale]. We had wished it might be so, though I had some fears of his being tired of us, and of our being stupefied with shyness. This went off more than I expected, and our day's journey was very pleasant.
MINTO, August 14, 1840 Actually here on the second day! From Hawick we had the most lovely moonlight, making the river like silver and the fields like snow. Oh Scotland, bonny, bonny Scotland, dearest and loveliest of lands! if ever I love thee less than I do now, may I be punished by living far from thee. MINTO, August 30, 1840 A great party to Church. Many eyes turned on Lord John as we walked from it. He was much amused by the remark of one man: "Lord John's a silly17 looking man, but he's smart, too!"--which he, of course, would have understood as an Englishman. In the evening he gave me a poem he had composed on the subject of my letter from Lancaster to Mrs. Law 18 announcing ourselves for the next day. … In the morning [September 1] Lord John begged to sit in our sitting-room with us. … I told him the library would be more comfortable, and we were established there (he very kindly reading the "Lay" aloud), when two Hawick Bailiffs arrived to present him with the freedom of the town. … After dinner, Miss Lister asked me so many questions chiefly relating to marrying, that I began to believe that Lord John's great kindness to us all, but especially to me, meant something more than I wished. I lay awake, wondering, feeling sure, and doubting again. MINTO, September 2, 1840 Lord John, Miss Lister, Addy and I went to Melrose Abbey and Abbotsford. … It was his last evening, and in wishing me good-bye he said quite enough to make me tell Mama all I thought. … I could see that she was very glad I did not like him in that way. I am sure I do in every other. MINTO, September 3, 1840 Lord John set off before seven this morning. I dreamed about him and waked about him all night. … Mama gave me a note from Lord John to me which he had left. … I wrote my answer immediately, begging him not to come back; but also telling him how grateful I feel. Had a long talk and walk with Miss Lister, whose great kindness makes it all more painful to me.
Page 36.
Lady Fanny wrote to her sister, Lady Mary Abercromby:
A proposal from Lord John Russell is at this moment lying before me. I see it lying, and I write to you that it is there, but yet I do not believe it, nor shall I ever. … Good, kind Miss Lister positively worships him.
MINTO, September 4, 1840 Went to the village with Mama and my darling Addy [Lord John's stepdaughter], to whom I may show how I love her now that he is away. MINTO, September 7, 1840 Received a very, very sad note from Lord John in answer to mine--so kind, but oh! so sad.
The note ran as follows:
September 5, 1840 DEAR LADY FANNY,--You are quite right. I deceived myself, not from any fault of yours, but from a deep sense of unhappiness, and a foolish notion that you might throw yourself away on a person of broken spirits, and worn out by time and trouble. There is nothing left to me but constant and laborious attention to public business, and a wretched sense of misery, which even the children can never long drive away. However, that is my duty, and my portion, and I have no right to murmur at what no doubt is ordained for some good end. So do not blame yourself, and leave me to hope that my life may not be long. Yours truly, J. RUSSELL
Miss Lister wrote to Lord John on September 9, 1840:
Sad as your letters are, it is still a relief to have them. I will hope for you though you cannot for yourself. … I cannot thank you as I wish and feel for all you are with regard to the children, for all you have been to them. I never can think of it without tears of gratitude. … You have been more than even an own father could have been. And by your example--an example of all that is good and pure and great in mind and conduct--you are doing for them more than any other teaching can do.
Page 37.
For a few days Lady Fanny seems to have felt that the matter was irrevocably settled: "The more I think of what has happened, the more I bewilder myself--I therefore do not think at all."
But on the following day she writes: "Though I do not think, I dream. I dreamt of him last night on some of Catherine's bride cake, and that Miss Lister wrote to me of him as one whose equal could not be found in the whole world."
Of one thing she was certain, she did not want to leave her home: "The west hills looking beautiful as we walked round the church. What a pleasure it is to have a church in such a situation! One worships God the better from seeing His beauty so displayed around. … Walked in the glen and wandered about the burn and top of Mama's glen, wondering how anybody could ever ask me to leave all that is so much too dear.
"Yesterday [October 23] received a letter from Miss Lister. Tells me a great deal about him--the way in which he first named me since, and his keeping the book, and much more that is very, very touching; but I will not sentimentalize even to my journal, for fear of losing my firmness again."
Meanwhile, gossip was busy coupling her name with Lord John's, and the Press published the rumour.
Lady Minto to Lady Mary Abercromby MINTO, November 9, 1840 … You will see in the papers the report of Fanny's marriage to Lord John Russell. It is very annoying to her, and I had a few lines (very touching) from him begging me to have it contradicted, which I had already done. If you ask me my reasons why, I cannot tell you, but I have a sort of feeling that she will marry him still. Gina says certainly not, and neither Lizzy nor I think her opinions or feelings changed, but I feel it in my skin!!! Still, these feelings are not infallible. … Will you tell me if I wish it or not? For I have now thought so much about it I don't know my own mind. If I knew that she would not marry at all, if she СКАЧАТЬ