Constructing conyugal love. Ricardo E. Facci

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СКАЧАТЬ is love: make me feel extended toward the other.

      • Us: It is important to realize that the problems that must be solved by a couple do not belong to the sphere of the you or the me but by the Us.

      • Goals: A couple without goals is a stagnant couple, unable to cope with the obstacles and move forward.

      The desire to overcome, search for perfection and happiness… is necessary.

      • Prayer: The Us is also the Him. Jesus internalizes problems and gives grace to solve them. He is always fair. Talk of it, converse in prayer. Together all three can accomplish it. Alone surely nothing will be accomplished.

      To discuss in couples

      1. How have we been exceeding our conflicts?

      2. Have we used dialogue to solve our problems?

      3. Have we demonstrated our ability to settlement disputes?

      4. Have we reinforced our ability to resolve conflict in a loving environment?

      5. Are we aware that the problems are “ours”?

      6. Is there any goal for us?

      7. Do we pray about our problems?

      To pray together

      Lord,

      Thank you for our marriage

      and also for the conflicts

      that helped us to mature.

      It would have been beautiful to have no problems,

      but we are this way

      flawed, selfish, sinful...

      We have walked this far,

      overcoming obstacles,

      which has allowed us to come together more,

      want each other more,

      be better friends...

      We ask you, Lord,

      never abandon us,

      always be at our side.

      Thus, the three of us continue to grow,

      destroying obstacles,

      and so build every day the best 'we',

      talking with you about

      the solution to every problem.

      Amen.

      Conjugal dialogue

      The dialogue is to love,

      what blood is to the body.

      As children we are taught to talk about things: of others, of the realities that surround us, gossip. Some received “teachings” from little on to yell, argue or to impose ideas. But, in reality, are we taught to dialogue?

      We have been assimilating a misconception of what is dialogue. We believe that a good dialogue is to talk a lot. Conjugal dialogue is very demanding, requires depth, and is not a simple conversation. Many couples believe they have reached a good dialogue because they talk about things: of work, of “life is expensive”, of neighbors, of the television program, of the in-laws. It is clear that some of these themes should be discussed, but do not cross arms and assert that everything is accomplished in the area of matrimonial dialogue. Also remember that many speak, and very well, demanding to be heard. But they never listen.

      Dialogue partners are permanently feeding the conjugal love. Make it grow and fortify it. How can one achieve a deep matrimonial dialogue? By talking about one's self, not others: “We”, transmitting our feelings to each other. By having a deep dialogue with your partner, communicating your intimate thoughts, sorrows, joys, desires and little things of life in common.

      Stones, plants and animals constitute a world closed in on itself. Unlike them, we can open up, communicate to each other, penetrate into the other and be penetrated. The richness and wonders achieved in conjugal dialogue is not, then, the others’ or everyday details, but same couple, their inner wealth and their feelings.

      The dialogue is a capability that Dios gave us as a road, whereby we are able to open our own interior to the other.

      Someone said to me: We do not know what to dialogue. Is this so? Or are they so estranged that they have nothing in common? You can discuss many topics, but the fundamental is speaking of one's self, of what it feels like to be together or away for various reasons, the feelings that children produce, what you experience with a dislike or a joy, when the other says “I love you,” or to share the same bed.

      Talk so love lives! Because dialog is for love, what blood is to the body.

      To talk in couples

      1. How do we see our dialogue?

      2. What have we found negative in us that hinders the dialogue?

      3. What have we found positive in us which helps to enhance our dialogue?

      4. What can we do to improve conjugal dialogue?

      To pray together

      Lord,

      you who are the word,

      that being so you did little:

      a man; to get close to you,

      and so talk with us;

      teach us to renounce

      our pride,

      not to be indifferent

      to the request of the other,

      to want to impose our ideas.

      Lord,

      Teach us to dialogue,

      to talk about ourselves,

      to open our hearts

      to be totally with the other,

      so our intimacies are as one.

      Amen.

      Know how to listen

      Whoever has ears, let them hear

      (Mt 13, 9).

      This thought of Jesus, who wants to hear, will hear, said on several occasions, perfectly refers you to the domestic dialogue. What usually occurs is that in order to deepen the theme of the dialogue, many couples touch a very painful wound: the absence of a mature dialogue.

      It is necessary to not get discouraged. It is possible to restart the dialogue. How? Sacrificing everything to reach mutual understanding. Recognizing that in each failure, make a true and deep examination of dialogue. But above all things, learning to listen, but listen СКАЧАТЬ