Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Dummies. Rob Willson

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       You convince yourself that you’re worthless and unlovable. You respond to a work promotion by thinking, ‘This doesn’t count, because anyone could get this sort of thing.’ The result: Instead of feeling pleased, you feel quite disappointed.

       You think you’re pathetic and feel low. A friend tells you you’re a very good friend, but you disqualify this in your mind by thinking, ‘She’s only saying that because she feels sorry for me. I really am pathetic.’

       Become aware of your responses to positive ‘data’. Practise acknowledging and accepting positive feedback and acknowledging good points about yourself, others and the world. For example, you could override your workplace disappointment by recognising that you’re the one who got the promotion. You can even consider that the promotion may well have been a result of your hard work.

       Practise accepting a compliment graciously with a simple thank you. Rejecting a sincerely delivered compliment is rather like turning down a gift. Steer your thinking towards taking in positive experiences. When others point out attributes you have, start deliberately making a note of those good points. Even if your current thinking bias leads you to doubt the validity of a compliment or good experience, try considering that you may well be wrong to do so. Trust what others say for a change!

       You often procrastinate on college assignments, thinking, ‘It’s just too much hassle. I’ll do it later when I feel more in the mood.’ You tend to wait until the assignment’s nearly due and it becomes too uncomfortable to put off any longer. Unfortunately, waiting until the last moment means that you can rarely put as much time and effort into your coursework as you need to in order to reach your potential.

       You want to overcome your anxiety of travelling away from home by facing your fear directly. And yet, each time you try to travel farther on the train, you become anxious, and think ‘This is so horrible, I can’t stand it’, and quickly return home, which reinforces your fear rather than helping you experience travel as less threatening.

       Pushing yourself to do things that are uncomfortable or unpleasant. For example, you can train yourself to work on assignments even if you aren’t in a good mood, because the end result of finishing work in good time, and to a good standard, outweighs the hassle of doing something you find tedious.

       Giving yourself messages that emphasise your ability to withstand pain. To combat a fear of travel, you can remind yourself that feeling anxious is really unpleasant, but you can stand it. Ask yourself whether, in the past, you’ve ever withstood the feelings you’re saying you presently ‘can’t stand’.