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      Rich differentiated himself by writing a book and building up a small tribe of dedicated followers of his coaching methods. He gave away a lot of content in his videos and he spoke at large gatherings of leaders. The key to his success was in saying no to most people who wanted to work with him. When people asked him how much his fees were, he was brave enough to quote a price far above most others and to add that he only worked with a maximum of eight select clients at any given time.

      This approach turned many people off. They were shocked his fees were so high and they would never spend that sort of money on a life coach. Some people scoffed, some people hoped that one day they could afford it and some people politely nodded but secretly knew it wasn't an amount they were comfortable to spend. None of that mattered because Rich was oversubscribed – more than eight people a year were excited by the prospect of having a coach who could dedicate time to understand their complex world.

When I first started coaching Rich on his business strategy he had a waiting list for his high‐value coaching but he wanted to expand his business and serve more people. Carefully we crafted a group coaching program and began campaigning for soft signals of interest. The people who signaled their interest started receiving more specialised content from Rich. He shared with them his stories, unique insights, philosophies and methods. Over the course of 60 days, we shared so much value that a group of about 1,000 people went from mildly curious to intensely interested in what Rich had to say.

      Rich then launched the new group product we developed called 4PC (which stands for the 4% difference between a high achiever and his or her next level of success). He announced that the group would be capped at 60 members. With more than 1,000 people engaged in the build‐up campaign, the launch was a huge hit and generated over $1 million of sales. 4PC could generate far more than that each year but exclusivity is what makes the group so desirable in the first place. It's members include vice presidents of Fortune 500 companies, a former Navy Seal, experienced post‐exit entrepreneurs, leaders of nonprofits, several PhDs and the former CMO of Harley Davidson.

      The marketplace says life coaches should earn $32.50 an hour, not $640,000 a year. The marketplace says if more than 100 people want to pay to join an exclusive group you'd be silly to limit it to 60. The marketplace is wrong; the market's job is to eradicate profit not maximise it.

You will suffer if you try to cater to what the market thinks. The market will force your prices down and demand more and more from you until you snap. Rather than catering to the market, let's get better at finding your market. And your market is made up of the people who really care about what you do. They place a high value on the results you can bring them. They get it, and importantly, they can also afford it. You know these people better than they know themselves when it comes to being able to surprise and delight them. You understand their unmet needs and wants; you have insights for them that will blow them away. You care about these people almost to a fault.

      These are the people into whom you put your energy. Over time you'll separate your market from everyone else and they will be immune to some cheap offer or cheesy ploy offered by a competitor; if it's not from you, they won't respond. You don't need everyone in order to become oversubscribed, you only need more people than you can handle.

FAMOUS FOR A FEW

      In some small ways, I suppose I'm like a celebrity. Occasionally I get stopped on the street by someone who's read my books, attended my events or watched my videos online. I get asked to be interviewed on podcasts and blogs. People I don't know connect with me on social media and occasionally I get a gushing piece of fan mail.

      The difference between me and real celebrities is that I'm famous for a small number of people – thousands rather than millions.

The good news is that's all it takes these days. You don't need to be on the big screen, talked about on gossip blogs or forever on the front page of the paper in order to have a fantastic business or life. You just need to be famous for a few thousand people.

      Being famous simply means that people you've never met, in places you've never been, have an emotional connection to what you do. Prior to digital media, the only people who could achieve this were film stars, newspaper journalists, musicians who got on the radio or TV personalities. Those were the only methods of connecting with people in places you've never been.

      Today things have changed dramatically; every person can have the equivalent of a TV show on YouTube, a talk‐radio show as a podcast or a newspaper in the form of a blog. What hasn't changed is how the human brain is wired.

      The brain forms connections based on three key ingredients:

       Time – If you spend a lot of time with people, they start to bond with you. In particular, research into bonding behaviour suggests that spending more than seven hours with someone moves you beyond the “acquaintance” category and towards being a “friend.”

       Interactions – Having frequent exchanges of communication builds connection. Anyone who had an international pen pal will tell you that you can build a bond based on nothing other than writing letters to one another. In a research paper called “Zero Moments of Truth,” a Google thought leader discovered that when people had about 11 interactions with a brand, they were considerably more likely to buy from that brand.

       Locations – Seeing people in different places is another way stronger bonds are built. People who see each other only at work are not as bonded as people who also see each other in social settings or at sporting events. The magic number is four locations according to research into trust building.

      If we spent 7 hours together, had 11 interactions between us and met up in 4 separate locations there's little doubt we would feel a bond. It would seem like we are more friends than acquaintances.

      This makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. Our ape‐like ancestors had to learn who was a trustworthy member of the tribe and who was a potential threat. It stands to reason that if two homo sapiens have spent time and interacted in several places with each other they are part of the same tribe.

      Therefore the key to carving out your own market is in the formula of 7‐11‐4. The more people you can clock up time, interactions and locations with, the more people will see you as different, unique and part of their tribe. Through this lens, a famous person is merely someone who has used media and technology to 7‐11‐4 people.

People who are star‐struck by Oprah have probably watched more than seven hours of her shows, interacted with her more than 11 times and seen her in four separate locations (e.g. TV, magazines, social media and newspapers). Looking at a mainstream celebrity it's easy to miss the fundamental 7‐11‐4 principle that works universally.

      There are YouTube stars who have millions of subscribers watching them week in, week out. If one of their subscribers who has been sufficiently 7‐11‐4–ed saw them at a restaurant, they might fall off their chair in awe of being in the same room. Anyone else who's never heard of this person would find it bizarre because they have not had sufficient exposure this person.

      STANDING OUT IN A NOISY MARKET

      In a busy marketplace in Bali, I wandered from stall to stall glancing at the products on display in front of my hotel. Merchants thrust before me pairs of sunglasses, shirts, watches, rugs, trinkets and even a kitchen sink (literally). After several days of this I had become immune to their advances and easily brushed passed anything that didn't take my interest. No amount of shouting at me, tugging my shirt or grabbing my hands worked to get my attention in this noisy marketplace.

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