The Widow's Little Secret. Judith Stacy

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      “You mean about the baby really being mine?”

      “You can’t be serious about telling everyone the truth. Can you imagine the scandal?”

      “You’d rather live a lie than be gossiped about?”

      Mattie rose from the chair. “I don’t care so much for myself. I’m worried about the baby. This will throw a shadow over his whole life.”

      “His whole life? You think it’s a boy?” His gaze dipped to her belly.

      She touched her hand to her stomach. “I don’t know.”

      “I want a girl,” Jared said, pulling up his suspenders. “It’ll be a girl.”

      “All the more reason not to jeopardize her future,” Mattie said. “Surely you can see that.”

      Jared shrugged into his vest and fastened his gun belt on his hips. “I’m more concerned that she’ll turn out as stubborn as her mama.”

      Mattie sighed heavily. “Jared, please—”

      “You need to get home,” he said, and put on his hat.

      She pulled away when he reached for her arm. “Not until you give me your answer. I have to know this is settled. Surely you can understand that.”

      He leaned down, just a little, just enough to make her draw back. “And surely you can understand that, for a man, agreeing to give up his child isn’t a decision to be made lightly.”

      The depth of his gaze held her captive for a moment, and in that moment she saw something unreadable in Jared. Something deep. Something old and timeworn. It touched her, frightened her a little.

      “I can walk home myself,” she said to him. He sighed irritably. “I’m walking you home, Mattie, and that’s that.”

      Jared strode out of the room, leaving her no choice but to follow.

      A ray of morning sunlight streaming through the window bored into Jared’s eyes, waking him. He sat up, groggy, looked around and finally remembered where he was after his first night in his new room.

      He scrubbed his hands over his face and pushed his fingers through his hair. Then he tossed back the covers.

      It had been a hell of a night….

      His wedding night, or should have been. If Mattie hadn’t been so hardheaded at the church yesterday, he’d have spent the night in bed with her. Jared didn’t need to look down to be reminded of the missed opportunity. It had kept him tossing and turning for hours.

      What the hell was wrong with that woman? Naked, Jared rose from the bed and poured water from the pitcher into the basin at the washstand. Every other woman in the whole country was champing at the bit to get married. Hell, most of them were tracking men down, dragging them to the altar.

      Jared braced his arms on the corner of the washstand and squinted into the mirror. Sure, he looked a little ragged this morning, hair sticking up, eyes red, heavy whiskers, but he was a good catch, as husbands went.

      He had a respectable job that paid well. He worked hard, had money put away. He was handsome enough. He knew how to treat a woman, take care of her needs…her womanly needs.

      Jared groaned aloud as his body tightened, remembering how he’d taken care of Mattie’s needs their night together—all three times. The ache worsened, just thinking about it.

      She’d come here last night to talk to him, but all he’d been able to think about was getting her into bed again. He’d walked her home, but she hadn’t let him come inside with her.

      He’d told her he’d let her know his decision about telling everyone the truth about the baby. But that was just an excuse to get to see her again; he’d never poison his child’s future by branding him a bastard.

      Jared groaned softly, remembering the night the baby was conceived. Before, when he’d been a marshal riding the trail, thinking of her, and this happened, he’d just waited it out, concentrated on his job. But now that he was in the same town with her, seeing her, touching her, almost marrying her, his condition had grown worse, much worse.

      It just wasn’t right, wanting one woman this much, but he did. If he didn’t do something about it soon…

      “Damn stubborn woman,” Jared muttered.

      When he’d come to Stanford he’d wanted to make himself a home here, court Mattie, get to know her. Many a night on the trail he’d wondered if he’d fallen in love with her.

      Jared gazed into the mirror, but it wasn’t his reflection he saw, it was the past. Ten years. Ten long years of loneliness, hurt and painful memories. Somehow, all of that had gone away after one night with Mattie.

      Hell, maybe he did love her.

      No matter what, Jared didn’t intend to let her out of his life. He liked being around her, liked the way she looked, the way she smelled. He even liked that spirit of hers, though he’d have to find a way to control it.

      And she was having his baby. A little grin pulled at his lips every time he thought of it. Him, a papa. Mattie, sweet Mattie, the mama.

      He dipped his hands into the basin and splashed icy water on his face. He shuddered.

      Mattie might think she could order him out of her life, or wish him away, or scare him away, but that wouldn’t happen. Jared wasn’t about to turn his back on her. And he certainly wasn’t going to abandon his child. Not when he was this close to having so many of the things he wanted.

      Jared sighed in the silent room. Hell, he did love her. He loved her and he wanted her. He’d figure a way to have her.

      But that would be so much easier to do if he could just get himself under control enough to make it through the day without embarrassing himself in front of the whole town.

      Jared ground his teeth together, picked up the pitcher and poured it down his front.

      He sucked in a quick breath as the icy water splashed over him. His chest heaved from the shock. His body shuddered.

      But at least it took care of one problem.

      Until the next time he laid eyes on Mattie.

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