The Kicking the Bucket List. Cathy Hopkins

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СКАЧАТЬ I go, and my major regret is you three not getting on. And I wonder if you’re all happy with the choices you’ve made. I know the world news is grim at the moment, it breaks my heart to hear what man is doing to man, and I worry how my girls are going to survive through it all, the anger and hatred you see every time you turn on the TV. That’s partly why I want you to follow my list. Sometimes you have to work hard to rise above the sorrows of the day, with what’s happening to you as individuals, but also what’s happening on a grander scale in the world at large. What I propose in the programme we have devised is my true legacy – not the money, though you will get that later, but ultimately it can’t buy what I want for you.’

      ‘It can pay the heating and health bills, though, so we’re not knocking it,’ said Jean.

      ‘Happiness doesn’t come from possessions or the material. One has to go deeper,’ added Martha.

      I glanced over at Fleur and wondered how she felt about what they were saying. Her face gave nothing away. Rose’s left foot was twitching as it always did when she was uncomfortable.

      ‘I’m leaving this list so that you can explore, to a small degree, where happiness lies. To go forward with hope in your heart. Hah. If I was in better voice, I’d cue to a song right now.’

      ‘Dance on through the din, dance on through the pain—’ Jean sang blissfully out of tune.

      Martha crossed her eyes and pulled a horrified face.

      ‘Wrong lyrics, Jean,’ said Mum. ‘But you know what we’re saying. Listen to songs that lift your heart, be with people who inspire you, go to places where you feel peace, cherish the ones you love.’

      ‘Indeed. Choice not chance determines destiny,’ said Martha. ‘And if you’re in a good frame of mind, if you’re happy, then it is easier to react to whatever life throws at you.’

      ‘So choose happiness when you can,’ continued Mum, ‘and I hope the methods we’ve arranged for you to look at in the coming months will go some way to help you do that.’

      ‘I’ve known you all your lives,’ said Jean, ‘since you were wee girls. What we want to say to you is: don’t waste your time with arguments, don’t miss out on the friendship of sisterhood because of petty disagreements or distance or whatever it is you tell yourselves to keep you all apart. I remember you when you were close when you were younger, even if you don’t. Give yourselves a chance to be close again.’

      Mum nodded. ‘And follow your dreams. Make time for them.’

      ‘Do any of you have dreams, goals, things you’d still like to do?’ asked Jean. ‘Regrets about things you never did or said? Make time while you still have your health and movement. You don’t appreciate it until it’s gone. To have a healthy body means that you are free. Don’t underestimate that freedom.’

      All three of them nodded at that. I thought about my dream – to be a successful and respected artist. I’d started out with such enthusiasm, but in recent years settled for just getting by.

      ‘The list looks at some of the different approaches to finding happiness,’ said Martha. ‘Of course, that happiness can be random, just comes across you some days out of the blue—’

      ‘Days of grace,’ Jean interrupted. ‘That’s what I used to call those times.’

      ‘But there are times when one needs a helping hand,’ Martha continued.

      ‘Yes,’ said Mum. ‘Like Rose: you work so hard, but I wonder if you ever get to enjoy the lifestyle you’ve worked to create. Kick back, baby girl, don’t always feel you have to be in charge. Enjoy time with Hugh and your children and let some of your feelings out before they make you ill. You know the saying – disease is really dis-ease. Learn to be at ease, Rose. And you Dee, you keep so much of what you’re feeling inside. You were always the peacemaker, but at what price? You’ve hidden away much of your true potential. Be the expressive soul you were meant to be. Bugger what the others think. Fleur, you took flight so early into a bad marriage and to live abroad. But where are your friends now? I rarely hear you speak of them.’ She looked at Martha and Jean with such tenderness. ‘Friends are priceless; as everything else slips away and no longer seems to matter, your friendships will. Cherish them, nurture them. You three have sisters, find the friendship you had with them again.’

      ‘No pressure then,’ said Fleur.

      ‘Shh,’ whispered Rose. I noticed her eyes were shiny, wet with tears, which was unlike Rose who, as Mum had said, was so in control of her emotions as well as everything else.

      ‘So. Cleaning,’ Mum continued from the screen. She brandished the mop. ‘That’s what this first weekend is about. Don’t worry, you don’t have to do any. It’s about giving the insides a clean, and we thought three different methods would be a good start to kick off with. The three approaches are: the emotional, the physical and the spiritual. First you will be starting with a session with a counsellor to get you all talking to each other. Clean out what you’ve all been holding back.’ She brandished her mop.

      Rose and Fleur groaned.

      ‘No, don’t groan,’ said Mum.

      I laughed nervously. This is spooky, I thought, like she’s here in the room.

      ‘You’ve got a lot to say to each other. You’ve all been bottling it up inside. Get it out, get rid, you’ll feel better for it,’ Mum continued.

      ‘Session two is colonic irrigation,’ said Jean.

      ‘What?’ gasped Rose.

      ‘Martha’s idea,’ said Mum with a chuckle. ‘Clear the crap. Great for the skin apparently.’

      ‘And lastly, tomorrow,’ said Martha, ‘a meditation session to clear out the negative thoughts, or at least go beyond them to find some peace inside. I found it very helpful when I was younger and living in India.’

      ‘Me too. But not in India,’ said Mum. ‘I know, this is probably not what you expected, but none of the weekends will be. We’ve tried to make it a varied programme with a few surprises. And the reason we want you to explore the different ways to be happy is simply because we wish you happiness. So. That’s it, I think.’ She looked at her friends. ‘Anything to add?’ They both shook their heads so Mum turned back to the camera. ‘OK. Good. Excellent. See you in a couple of months.’

      The three of them went back into their 1950s ad pose, held it for a moment, then the screen went blank.

      Daniel turned to Rose, Fleur and me, then handed us each a sheet of paper. ‘Your schedule for this weekend is on there, as well as my mobile number. Please call if you have any further questions. Oh and I must mention that, as well as the weekends, Iris asked me to send you the occasional message—’

      ‘From you or her?’ asked Rose.

      ‘From her. You should have already got one – about being a winner not a loser?’

      ‘I wondered who that was from,’ said Fleur.

      ‘I thought it was from Anna,’ I said.

      ‘Rose?’ asked Daniel.

      ‘I got it. How many will there be? What are СКАЧАТЬ