Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

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      hey drove deeper into the country, where the roads narrowed and twisted like snakes. Finally, they pulled up outside a dark old church and Sanguine got out, went around to Valkyrie’s side and opened the door, then pulled her from the car. He took her arm and led her up the cracked, overgrown path. Vines clung to the crumbling walls and the small stained-glass windows were caked with grime and dust.

      He pushed open the ancient double doors and guided her into the cold, dank church. There were still a few pews that hadn’t rotted away, and there were hundreds of lit candles that sent the shadows dancing and pirouetting across the walls. The altar had been ransacked and cleared, replaced with a large slab, solid and proud, and upon that slab was the massive, bandaged body of the Grotesquery, covered in a sheet.

      Baron Vengeous was waiting for them, clad in the black armour of Lord Vile. It was not what Valkyrie had expected. The armour did not clank or rattle, and it cast no sheen. It seemed to be alive, subtly moving and reshaping itself even as she watched.

      There were others in the church, Infected men and women, the vampire virus working through their bodies, changing them every moment that passed. They stayed in the shadows as best they could.

      She could see Dusk now. His human form had grown back, but it had kept the scar across his face. It was deep and ugly, and he was glaring at her with every ounce of hatred his blackened soul was capable of.

      “Valkyrie Cain,” Vengeous said, the mask distorting his voice into a rough whisper. “So nice of you to join us on this most auspicious of nights. The creature on this table will open the gateway for its brethren, and this world will be cleansed. The unworthy will be decimated and we will usher in a new paradise, and it’s all thanks to you.”

      Sanguine took Valkyrie by the elbow and led her to the front pew, where he made her sit beside him, and they watched Vengeous lower his head, his hands raised above the body on the slab. Shadows started moving around Vengeous. The candles were flickering like a strong wind was blowing, but the inside of the church was deathly calm.

      “The Grotesquery’s gonna feed on you,” Sanguine whispered, almost casual. “That good ole boy’s been out for the count – he’s gonna need your blood in his veins. Gonna have himself a slap up meal. You mind if I take pictures? Brought my own camera and everythin’.”

      “Knock yourself out.”

      “Thanks.”

      “No, really, run head first into the wall and knock yourself out because I’m telling you, you better be unconscious when Skulduggery gets here.”

      Sanguine grinned and sat back. “I can handle Mister Funnybones, don’t you worry about that. Pay attention now, darlin’, this is where it gets interestin’.”

      Valkyrie looked back at the altar just as the shadows bunched up behind Vengeous and descended on him like a shroud. He stiffened and his body jerked, as if he was being shot through with electric currents. The shadows started flowing out through his fingertips and down, passing through the sheet.

      “Mr Sanguine,” Vengeous whispered.

      Sanguine pulled Valkyrie up and dragged her over to the slab. He grinned as he showed her his straight razor then grabbed her wrist. She tried to struggle but he was far too strong, and she cried out as he ran the cold blade across the palm of her right hand. But instead of running off her hand and dripping on to the sheet, her blood drifted to the shadow stream, mixing with it, twirling through it and around it, being fed into the body of the Grotesquery.

      And that’s when the double doors swung open and Skulduggery Pleasant strolled into the church.

      The Infected snarled and Valkyrie pulled her hand from Sanguine’s grip. Vengeous looked up from his dark work and his armour grew angry spikes, as Skulduggery walked up to the end of the aisle and sat in the front pew. He crossed his legs, settled into a comfortable position and waved his hand in the air.

      “Don’t let me interrupt,” he said.

      Valkyrie frowned. Not quite the rescue she was counting on.

      The Infected moved into the light, closing in on Skulduggery, who was acting like he’d just popped by for a chat. Vengeous sent the last of the shadow stream into the Grotesquery and then stepped back. Valkyrie saw him sag slightly.

      Vengeous brought his hands up to his head and undid the latches on the mask, lifting it off. His face was pale and shiny with sweat. His eyes were narrow and cold.

      “Abomination,” he said. “You came here alone? No Cleavers with you? Mr Bliss isn’t by your side?”

      “You know me, Baron, I like to take care of things myself. Also, when you beat me up, you broke my phone, so …”

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