Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

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      alkyrie edged up to the battlement, peeking down as Skulduggery landed gently. Dusk turned his head like he had heard something, but then looked the other way. Skulduggery crept up behind him, wrapped an arm around his throat and hauled him back. Dusk struggled, tried to release the grip, but Skulduggery was cutting off the oxygen to his brain and Valkyrie knew it would be over in moments. Once Dusk had gone limp, Skulduggery laid him on the ground. The entire thing had been done in complete silence.

      Skulduggery crept to the castle entrance and Valkyrie moved to the very edge of the collapsed roof, lying flat and peering over. The Infected had managed to place the mummified figure into the crate without dropping it again. Valkyrie saw their eyes narrow when Skulduggery walked up. Vengeous still had his back to him.

      “Hello, Baron,” Skulduggery said. She saw Vengeous stiffen slightly, then turn.

      “Of course,” Vengeous said. “Who do they send to try and take me down? Not even a man. Not even a monster. They send you.”

      Skulduggery gave a little shrug. “How’ve you been, Baron?”

      “You taint me,” Vengeous said, disgust in his voice. “Even being in your presence, it taints me. I can feel it in the air. Even these Infected, these half-Undead, even they are more worthy of my time than you would ever be.”

      Skulduggery nodded. “So, you married or anything? Do I hear the pitter patter of tiny evil feet?”

      “I will destroy you.”

      “You’re still upset about that time I made you explode, aren’t you? I can tell.”

      “You never stop talking, do you?”

      “I don’t have to talk,” Skulduggery said. “I can be quiet.” A moment passed. “So, who’ve you got in the crate? Is it the shrivelled, lifeless, patchwork corpse of the Grotesquery? Am I right? Because if it is, I’m afraid I can’t let you take it. I could, you know, give you its big toe or something, as a keepsake, but that’s about it.”

      “What you are saying, skeleton, is blasphemous.”

      “You’re the one who dug up your own god.”

      Vengeous started forward, taking his cutlass from its sheath. “I wish I didn’t have to kill you now. I wish I could see the fury it would wreak upon you for this blasphemy.”

      “You do realise I’ve got no skin to cut, right?”

      Vengeous smiled again as he approached. “This sword is woven razor, the same process they use to make the Cleavers’ scythes. It will shear through your bones.”

      “Ah,” Skulduggery said, taking a step back.

      Vengeous was almost upon him. “What’s this? No jokes? No taunts? Let me see how confident you are now, you abomination.”

      Skulduggery’s hand went into his jacket and came back out with his revolver. He aimed it squarely at Vengeous’ face. Vengeous froze.

      “As it turns out,” Skulduggery said after a moment’s consideration, “I’m still pretty confident.”

      “Are you going to shoot me?” Vengeous sneered. “I wouldn’t be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honour? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a swordfight.”

      “And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”

      Vengeous scowled. “As you can see,” he said, “you are vastly outnumbered.”

      “I usually am.”

      “Your situation has become quite untenable.”

      “It usually does.”

      “You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of Undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.”

      Skulduggery paused. “OK, that’s a new one on me.”

      “Kill him!” Vengeous barked.

      The Infected started forward, Valkyrie saw Skulduggery wave his arm and a gust of wind raised a cloud of dust to obscure her view. She glimpsed Vengeous backing up, shielding his eyes. There were gunshots, flashes of fire, and gutteral snarls of anger, and the Infected flew backwards through the air. When the dust cleared, only Skulduggery and Vengeous were left standing.

      “Six shots,” Vengeous said. “I counted. Your gun is empty.”

      “You’re assuming I didn’t reload in all the confusion.”

      “And did you?”

      Skulduggery hesitated. “No,” he admitted and put the gun away.

      Vengeous took a moment to look around. “The girl,” he said. “Cain. Where is she?”

      “She had to stay home unfortunately. It’s a school night, so …”

      “Pity. I would have liked her to see me kill you.” Vengeous laid his cutlass on the ground. “And I won’t be needing a sword to kill you.” He strode towards Skulduggery, who raised his hand.

      “Um, since you’re not going to be using it, can I?”

      Vengeous almost laughed. He punched and Skulduggery darted low and to the side, but Vengeous was expecting the manoeuvre and he brought his clenched fist down on Skulduggery’s shoulder blade. Skulduggery tried to move in for a throw, but Vengeous shifted his weight slightly and stuck out his foot, and Skulduggery went tumbling. His leg hit the crate and he fell on to the Grotesquery.

      Vengeous roared and reached in, grabbing Skulduggery and hauling him out. He sent out a right hook СКАЧАТЬ