Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

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      aurien Scapegrace sat at the table across from Skulduggery. Tanith stood directly behind him and Valkyrie stood in the corner beside the door, her arms folded.

      Skulduggery looked up from the folder he was reading. “Vaurien, you haven’t been very co-operative with your interviewers, have you?”

      “Don’t know what any of them are talking about.”

      “You are a known associate of a man they call the Torment.”

      He shrugged. “News to me.”

      “What is?”

      “That I know him.”

      “Know who?”

      “What?”

      “That you know the Torment?”

      “Yeah.”

      “Then you do know him?”

      “Yeah.” Then quickly, “No.”

      “You don’t know him?”

      “I, no, I, no. Never heard of him.”

      “I hate to say this, Vaurien, but that’s astoundingly unconvincing.”

      Scapegrace shook his head. “Who is he? I’ve never heard of him. Torment who?”

      “Do you recognise the pretty lady behind you?”

      Scapegrace tried to turn in his chair, but the shackles meant he could only crane his neck. He looked back to Skulduggery and shrugged. “Should I?”

      “That there is Tanith Low. Perhaps you’ve heard of her. Tanith is a renowned interrogator, known the world over for her one hundred percent success rate in getting the information she needs.” Valkyrie saw Tanith arch an eyebrow, but she said nothing.

      “Oh, yeah?” Scapegrace said. He was looking a little worried. “And how does she manage that?”

      “Well, to put it delicately, she has the power to suck out people’s brains.”

      Scapegrace stared and Tanith had to clap her hand over her mouth to stop from laughing. Valkyrie struggled to keep the smile off her face, and really wished she was anywhere but in Scapegrace’s line of sight.

      “She can’t do that,” he said. “That’s illegal!”

      “I’m afraid it’s not. It’s a loophole she’s been exploiting for years. She sucks out the brain and swallows it, thereby digesting and absorbing the knowledge.”

      “But that’s horrible,” Scapegrace said weakly.

      “You’ve left us with little choice. Tanith, if you wouldn’t mind?”

      From her position behind Scapegrace, Tanith held up her hands in a what-do-you-expect-me-to-do? gesture. Her hands dropped when Scapegrace tried to look back at her and she became deadly serious. The moment he took his eyes off her again she went back to helpless gesturing.

      Scapegrace righted himself in his chair and made his hands into fists, and screwed his eyes shut. “You’re not going to suck out my brains!” he yelled.

      Skulduggery sat back and didn’t offer Tanith any advice. She pointed a finger at him, wagged it slightly and then turned her attention to Scapegrace. She sighed, walked up beside him and held her hands over his head. His eyes were still screwed shut.

      Tanith changed her mind about the hands thing and leaned over, putting her mouth next to his ear. His body went rigid. Her lips parted, and the barest sound of skin leaving skin made Scapegrace scream and jerk back and topple over sideways. He crashed to the floor.

      “I’ll tell you!” he squealed. “I’ll tell you everything I know! Just keep her off me, you hear? Keep her away from my brains!”

      “Is the Torment still alive?” Skulduggery asked, standing over him.

      “Yes!”

      “When was the last time you had contact with him?”

      “Two years ago, I swear!”

      “What was the nature of the meeting?”

      “I just wanted to talk to him!”

      “What did you talk about?”

      Scapegrace peeked up, made sure Tanith wasn’t about to start with the brain-sucking. “Nothing. He walked away. He wouldn’t talk. I don’t think he likes me.”

      “Why doesn’t he like you?”

      “I don’t know. Maybe it’s my smell.”

      “What do you know about the Grotesquery?” Valkyrie asked.

      “Nothing, not a thing, honest.”

      “Tanith,” Skulduggery said wearily, “suck his brains.”

      “No! Wait! I don’t know anything, but he does! During the war – the war with Mevolent. He was tracking Baron Vengeous.”

      “Why?” Skulduggery asked.

      “He was going to kill him. During that whole thing, the war, he was on your side. I was on your side too.”

      “I never saw you fight.”

      “I was somewhere near the back,” Scapegrace said weakly. “But the fact is, we were all fighting the same enemy – that counts for something, right?”

      Skulduggery tilted his head. “The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend.”

      “The Torment, he told me once that he’d been watching Vengeous and he’d been about to strike when, when you showed up. You fought, and you took Vengeous away, and the Torment decided it was time to retire. He’s an old guy. He was around long before Mevolent even arrived on the scene. But he told me, while he’d been watching Vengeous, he’d seen where he’d stashed the Grotesquery.”